Art of the compliment

[DoesntMatter]

I think some of the reason I haven't had any good experiences with girls is that I can't deliver a well-received compliment. Every time I make compliments they are literally met with resistance, with something like “Ummm… Thanks” (with maybe a ? at the end of that), or other things like that. I don’t know if I’m coming off as being insincere, but I don’t make compliments unless they are true. I think some of that is I come off as being too dry or not very animated or enthused, but that’s just how I am most of the time. For a while I just avoided making compliments altogether because things almost always ended up going opposite the way I hoped. But I’ve made a conscientious effort recently to start complimenting more but the same thing happens

What is it with girls? You would think a compliment would be taken as one. Instead I’m afraid to give a girl a compliment because it always wrecks my day with one of their typical responses. Seriously, nothing hurts more than trying to be friendly and being stiffed like that. If it was a guy I would be downright pissed, but with girls it just hurts

So now I’m knowingly making the decision to not compliment girls because not only does it not work, but I end up in a worse spot for doing it. Right now I’m on the borderline of being incredibly pissed off and sad, and when I’m pissed I just want to **** up these people, but because they are girls that thought just makes me even sadder…

So not for a long time am I going to make a nice remark

Because yeah... I thought making ncie remarks like that constituted flirting or at least expressing interest and would help me somewhat

Anyone else have similar experiences??????

[miSSleepy]

I've had a few compliments from guys that just seemed out of place for some reason. Usually i feel like this when the guy is almost a stranger or just a distant acquintance.

I don't know when and how you compliment, but it's mostly delivery and timing. And honestly, some girls are suspicious little sourpusses when it comes to approaches and compliments from guys ... they'll start wondering at your motives and your sincerity. And then if you have an insecure girl and you compliment her on her eyes, and she happens to hate her eyes, she'll be doubtful or even resentful.

As for me, even after ill-timed and awkward compliment my mood will be that much more better for the day.

I just remembered something that happened on my campus while I was at the ATM getting money out ... some guy came up to me and said: "Hey... are you Italian or something?"
Me: "No, why?"
Him: "O I just thought you might be, from your accent"
Me: puzzled look "But I didn't say anything before you asked me..."
He gave an awkward smile and walked off, probably mentally kicking himself up the butt.

[vashti]

Can you give us an example of the types of compliments you are giving? Because even a stranger can compliment a woman if he is perceived as sincere. I was walking down the street with my sister one time, and a man stopped her and said "I'm not trying to pick you up or anything, but I wanted to tell you that you have the most beautiful legs I've ever seen on a woman". Because she DOES have spectacular legs, and because the guy kept on walking, it was obvious he was sincere and it made her day.

Another factor here is the age of the females you are probably complimenting. Many younger women don't accept compliments from men well because they are constantly being hit on. Their defenses are already on high alert for a guy trying to pass off a cheezy line. For this reason I never suggest complimenting the looks of a woman you don't know unless you are not planning to stop for conversation. It is better to compliment something they did well.

If you feel compelled to compliment a girl on her appearance, pick out something specific. "You have pretty eyes" is too common. "You have the bluest eyes I've ever seen" is better. Notice some unusual detail... "You look nice today" is nice if you know someone, but if you don't, it is interpretted as "I wonder if she'll go out with me".

I guess the thing to avoid is the pregnant pause afterwards. It kind of implies that you want something from her, and let's face it: you do. Therefore, it is probably better to compliment something that *means* something to her.

[boobaa]

Heh, I've had the same problem. I am often too dry and end up cold-complimenting even though it is sincere.

I just don't get it, what is it with you, girls? Talking to you is sometimes like holding a big pile of shit on a very narrow stick, you get insulted so easily. I think sometimes the girl sees that intentions are good and maybe even gets it but then just plays.. well, it gets tiring sometimes.

[vashti]

Let's face it guys. If a girl is attractive, she probably knows it. She owns a mirror, and guys are telling her all the time how attractive she is. Be original.

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah I'm pretty sparse with my compliments. DM I think you need to stop thinking of them as girls and think of them more as just other people. They shit too you know.

[Kromat]

Let's face it guys. If a girl is attractive, she probably knows it.
She owns a mirror, and guys are telling her all the time how attractive she is. Be original.

You said that right, best to just to keep some of your thoughts to yourself.
I like mentioning something about what I've been doing tonight or just how
the evening events have been experienced.
I guess in some situations, you could ask why she's alone sitting around a table,
or just hanging around the bar, and then ask her, " Would you like to have some fun?
like to dance a little to loosen up and just get some motivation to enjoy your night?
It's always nice to keep someone company, just to start up a conversation and not
get too close, because they barely know you.
I like the pick and choose approach, go around finding a girl to talk too & have fun,
and repeat, and after a few times, you choose out of those girls, who impressed you
the most and go spend more time with her during that evening... kinda like a timer to find,
to see If any1 is compatible, like in those dating shows.

[misombra]

i love compliments as long as they are sincere.

[Stirfry]

Some people often overthink it, wether its the person giving or recieving one. There are good situations where a compliment will work, but make sure its not too random and out of the blue. Maybe its the way you say it... Never say one if it doesn't sound sincere.. otherwise you'll just confuse him/her.

[boobaa]

Let's face it guys. If a girl is attractive, she probably knows it. She owns a mirror, and guys are telling her all the time how attractive she is. Be original.

Be original.. what? Ok, lets say I am original, but I am still saying the same ****ing thing.

No, seriously, I am going to tell girls to **** off or something, will that be original for a pretty girl who gets compliments all the time?

[Gribble]

I compliment quite a bit. And sometimes a girl is reluctant to accept them. In that case I warn her that I'll just keep on telling her how beautiful her eyes/lips/titties are until she believes me.

[Tedel]

+1. I don't compliment often, but when I do I also follow Gribble's attitude.

[Kromat]

I only compliment them on the way they except others.
The rest of the obvious answers just aren't flattering.

[TheSphinx]

I would have to say that I will compliment a woman only if she has demonstrated something I value. For example, recently:

"That's what I like about you, you're not afraid to step up when someone oversteps your boundaries. It's fierce, but I love how your face glows with that energy."

If she happens to be a woman I'm seeing I might throw in:

"And if I were an exhibitionist, I would have my way with you, right here, in the housewares aisle."

~Sphinx

[Gigabitch]

I compliment quite a bit. And sometimes a girl is reluctant to accept them. In that case I warn her that I'll just keep on telling her how beautiful her eyes/lips/titties are until she believes me.

Almost spit out my coffee on that one. I envision Gribble coming up to some girl, waggling his eyebrows and saying, "Nice jugs".