very lonely so what am i to do??

[flipkronikz]

Well here's the story. I have been with this woman since high school. We have been dating since October 2003 and recently broke up in November 2007. We had our breaks and I did cheat on her several times but those flings didn't really mean anything because they occured at socials and what not. I'm sure she experienced those hanging out with her friends. We did live together for a year and then moved back to my parents place and that's when she left me last year. We still had a friendship and all, intimate most of the time but she did not want to really be 'together' officially. I really love this woman and I think she is the one I want to spend my life with. The thing is she feels the same way but at the same time she does not want to be serious. Right now I'm in school taking a care aide course and it's really affecting me. The loneliness I mean. Our 'hooking up on weekends' has stopped and I tend to do homework and studying on weekends most of the time now. So basically I have a minimum social life right now because of financial isssues and not being able to commit to a relationship because of working part- time and going to school full- time. I'm finding it very hard to really connect with someone like I connected with this woman I have known a good chunk of my life. I'm just very hung up on this girl because she so perfect for me in every way but looks like it isn't going to happen anymore. I am not really financially stable right now as I am just starting to get into my career and and being independent and just plain old making more money. Does anybody think I can win her love back later on when my life is all put together?? Right now I'm not looking for anything serious but just sexual. The problem that is not getting the fulfillment of love. It just bothers me because I'm just getting sex and I tire of it quickly with the same woman who thinks the realtionship is all about sex! I'm 23 and would like to settle down as soon as possible and have three kids. So in reading this petite essay like post I hope somebody can understand where I''m coming from at this lady that was an essential part of my life still remains in my heart. What do you guys and gals think I should do?? I can't find the love I had before. I abng a chick and then we become friends and then they just end up being in a relationship with somebody else. In a realtionship that I had hoped to have with them!!! So in concluding this little rant I hope to get a worthy answers from analysing this post of mine. thank you. Fred

[flipkronikz]

*sigh* reading my own post just make me even more confused. I just want to right the wrongs of the past. I know she still feels something for me. I know it's there. I'm just getting a sense of being put on hold right now. Fack!!! Damn emotions!

[TheSphinx]

I'm 23 and would like to settle down as soon as possible and have three kids...I know she still feels something for me. I know it's there. I'm just getting a sense of being put on hold right now.

So let's say that you really are ready to settle down and have three children (though I'd really recommend financial stability before doing so).

If you "know" this woman feels something for you, but you might have to wait one, five, or even ten years before she's ready for a relationship, would you be willing to do so? How would that affect the ideals you've set for your life at this point?

I would suggest making some goals for your life and finding someone who compliments your chosen path. Why settle for "being put on hold"?

~Sphinx

[vashti]

I think you should focus on making yourself into soemone who is ready to be married and have kids. This will attract the kind of women who share that goal. Right now, as a student, you aren't in any position to consider this, IMO.

About the ex girlfriend... I honestly can't imagine taking someone back who I had this kind of history with. Multiple times cheating? How can she ever trust you?

[Babydoll]

It's going to be difficult for you if you've been with her for so long.. you only split in November. You should just make sure she knows how you feel and find out how she feels, even if it means asking her directly. I think the questions you need to ask her are a) is she just being sensible? having fun while you're young and all that or b) is she using it as an excuse to ease your relationship off indefinitely without trying to cause you too much pain.
You haven't been single for a while so I guess you're not used to that either. It'll only make you stronger by adapting to it. You have your whole life ahead of you to get married and have children. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts. If you get married you're going to spend a heck of alot of your life in that relationship.. so you may as well experience a bit of fun. You need to work on your insecurity of not having someone who 'loves' you.
Don't you want to look back when you're 75 and say 'I did as much as possible with my life and didn't waste a second of it'. You're 23 and the world is your oyster.. take up something that will get you to socialise but also keep you busy and stop you from dwelling on your ex. I think the only way your mind will settle is if you ask her outright and make sure you know the score. It doesn't sound like she's gonna wait around for you.
My mum started dating my dad when she was 15 and he was 17 and they've been together ever since.. but my mama always says that she wishes she'd met my dad later in life so she could've had more of a life when she was younger. Maybe your ex is being sensible and going off to find fun. You could have been the person to build her confidence as a person and now she feels she's free to fly. Your insecurities could be scaring her.
Otherwise.. just get used to being single.

[Only-virgins]

Right now I'm not looking for anything serious but just sexual. The problem that is not getting the fulfillment of love. It just bothers me because I'm just getting sex and I tire of it quickly with the same woman who thinks the realtionship is all about sex! I'm 23 and would like to settle down as soon as possible and have three kids.

This makes about as much sense as a flying rats ass in the middle of winter.

[Mish]

OV you're killing me

I think OP was just venting, we shouldn't hold it against him.

Perhpas you need to fully understand your own intentions and goals flip. Are you really ready for something serious? I ask because of this:

I am not really financially stable right now as I am just starting to get into my career

How will you be able to settle down right now and have 3 kids if you are not financially ready?

[Tedel]

mm... Honestly, it sounds like two ounces of lack of affection, a teaspoon of irresponsibility and an ounce of idealism, too.

In plain English now: Dude, she won't marry you and give you three kids if you don't have money to feed them! Any woman wants to bear that cross, got it? Sure you have mentioned this idea to her and that's why you've been put "on hold", see?

Get ready to fight to finish your studies and make a good living. She'll come back by herself as soon as she sees you "better prepared".

You can drop her after that, if you like.