do i just keep trying or give up

[damian127]

I think i will just get strait into it here. I will try for short. I am in a relationship of only 9 mos. I do love this girl and would willingly stay with her if i was sure the love was mutual. I know there is no way for anyone to tell me if she loves me truely or not. So i wont waste your time with such idiocy.
I dont know where to start. I feel used quite a lot. I feel like many times all others take presidence over me in her life. I have had to deal with many lies, mostly about her ex although i dont really know the extent of it all. She was not able to work so i have been the finantial supporter. Not something that bothers me in the least but i have noticed that while i feel its ok to put her in front of me it seems that its become expected that i go with nothing to pamper to her. Just recently I have bought her a car nothing great, Im only a student nurse, but it was about 2000 dollars. My car is now a 400 beater. I am ok with that because she is safe in hers. Yes its in her name. Why is that important you might ask well I wonder if she just stays with me because i do buy her stuff.
Now before you jump to some conclusion I am not ugly deformed and have no issues with intamacy at all. The sex is very good so i know its not that that is from her that i get this. At any rate i treat her well i am not abusive emotionaly or physicaly I support her ideas and respect her dicisions as well as judgement. Still she finds points to argue over.
There seems to be no reasoning once in an argumentive state for her. I am told to shut up, just dont talk to me, and cursed at without regard at all to my emotions. I love her and want to be with her but am not sure if i should just let go how do you know even. I suspect she may have some emotional imbalance but she is worth everything to me. In the end i feel like I really may give everything and end up alone anyway.
I could go on but maybe this is a good point to start

[okapa]

Why 2 topics?

[damian127]

oh ignore one it the sight has been acting strange when i went to post it said i needed to log in i did so and this is what happened i have no idea but i will try to fix that

[Kiechi]

Get rid of her. Now.

[vashti]

It's never a good sign when you are feeling used. If you want to know if she loves you, stop buying her stuff and see how she reacts.

BTW - what kind of nurse are you studying to be?

[Kiechi]

Dump her. Now.

[okapa]

I agree, do it.

[damian127]

ah but the other side feels like true love. what to do i have been told to walk by many girls and a few guys but wouldlike to know how to steer it back to a mutual giving relationship and maybe motivate her to find her own happieness

[Kiechi]

Or maybe you're just bullshitting yourself into believing that bullshit. Because homie, that's what it is. Booooooooooooosheeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Or it could be maybe I'm just as ****.


You decide.

[damian127]

oh and Vashti at the moment i am only trying to get my RN. Then its divided betweensurgery and cardiac i love both dont like to work in med surg really or geriatrics. Well her birthday is on feb 14th so this week of course she is getting stuff. She told me to day that no one has ever been this good to her i am old enough that i am not looking for a fling i am looking for a life partner so i put a lot more into it than i used to. I could see us having a life together but I want a happy life to much divorce to much heartbreak that goes on i need help or i would never have come here but i have thought about a lot of this already. She needs to feel safe a lot of this is about that but then she does want to be pampered and if i was wealthier that wouldnt be a problem but i am not.

[vashti]

Dude, I don't know how you have the energy for this romance while in nursing school. I am in a program, too. I'm doing my psychiatric rotation right now. You don't want to end up in one of those over a girl!

You know, my friend, you really can't buy a girl anyway. Why would you want to keep a girl who is using you?

Talk to her about the fact that you no longer want to dump all your money on her, and see how she reacts.

[Mish]

It's never a good sign when you are feeling used. If you want to know if she loves you, stop buying her stuff and see how she reacts.

+1

I think this will be a very good test of her true feelings.

Don't do it with malice though, simply say the truth that you are a student and you need to save money.

[damian127]

i maybe on a lot tonight im at worlk now but expected my girl back from birthday shoppin a while ago. We ussualy IM a lil or something but thanks for the comments. You know what its like sitting around waiting all night for a call that never comes. Not the greatest feeling worry and anger mixed not sure if you can be justified in being angry trying to let it go hope still lingering but despair setting in. Oh I am sure many of us older ones can relate.

[damian127]

mishanya i love your signature that is a very beautiful poem.

[Mish]

Thank you