what is cheating

[damian127]

is it cheating if for a girl to spend most of their time talking to a male friend. I dont like to be jelous but am starting to think it doesnt matter if theirs nothing physical its still cheating i dont want to be ignored for this guy anymore. I really am not allowed to have female friends cause she really is the jelous type. I havent cheated on her but she has on me. I know this guy wouldnt tell me if she was doing something to betray me so i dont trust that anyone of them would be real with me. Funny part is she is doing a lot of the same stuff my ex one of her former best friends used to do to me but then she would say how ****ed up it was. In fact she kinda told me to just forget her now if i tool her advice that she gave me then i would have to leave her. Seems like i keep thinking what am i doing putting up with this.

[Mish]

Sounds like she wants to eat the cake and have it too

You should read up on "Emotional Infidelity", there's some interesting stuff out there

[url]http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/ss/emotionalaffair.htm[/url]

[bluesummer]

Um yeah....she cheated on you once and you stayed with her? Oh hell no. Come on, you have to like yourself more than that.

There is such a thing as emotional cheating....you don't have to screw someone to be unfaithful. My guess is, if she has cheated on your once and is displaying warning signs with another man.....it's just a matter of time before she does it again.

You asked yourself a good question.....what ARE you doing putting up with this?

[damian127]

i dont really know i have been told i was to good more than once and i do have a self esteem it the idea of being in love i think more than the reality, the sex is good but im sure there are others out there that arent inhibited lol it just seems like i could post a hundred topics here that sucks the emotional cheating thing is why i wanted a womens opinion on it ive heard what the pros say but real ppl that may have done or been in the same situations are the ones that really know

[bluesummer]

Well, I know all about it because was cheated on emotionally and physically by my ex husband. I kept forgiving him and taking him back and it was stupid and weak of me. It took me two years and a nervous breakdown to kick him out. Don't do that to yourself.

If you see the signs, do yourself a favour and just end it now, you'll save yourself a shitload of grief.

[miSSleepy]

[quote=damian127;318655]is it cheating if for a girl to spend most of their time talking to a male friend./quote]

No. But if it is for you, ask yourself: why? Is that fair?

I dont like to be jelous but am starting to think it doesnt matter if theirs nothing physical its still cheating i dont want to be ignored for this guy anymore.

It could be emotional cheating I guess. If she's ignoring you for another guy, then that's not good... assuming you're not overreacting.

I really am not allowed to have female friends cause she really is the jelous type. I havent cheated on her but she has on me. I know this guy wouldnt tell me if she was doing something to betray me so i dont trust that anyone of them would be real with me. Funny part is she is doing a lot of the same stuff my ex one of her former best friends used to do to me but then she would say how ****ed up it was. In fact she kinda told me to just forget her now if i tool her advice that she gave me then i would have to leave her. Seems like i keep thinking what am i doing putting up with this.

She's being a bit hypocritical. It's up to the individual (or couple obviously) to decide what constitites cheating. And there must be consistancy. If she prohibits you from having female friends then she should be prepared to live under the same conditions. It's a bit ridiculous though, especially since she is the one who cheated. I think she may feel threatened though too, incase you cheat on her as a way of getting back at her etc.

But you're right - what ARE you doing putting up with this? If you really want to save this relationship then have a really good talk with her and make sure you come to an agreement. If not, leave.
In either case, strengthen your backbone.

[damian127]

of course i should just walk but how do you do that without exhasting every resorce to try and save it

[miSSleepy]

of course i should just walk but how do you do that without exhasting every resorce to try and save it

You've already exhausted every resource by giving her another chance when she cheated on you.

[damian127]

time to go home now lol cant be on this site unless im at work couldnt imagine what kind of fight it would be if she read all this thanks everyone

[Gigabitch]

If you're not allowed female friends she shouldn't be allowed male friends, especially with her track record.

[abar2]

it depends wether their cheating on a person or a video game.....get it! lol

[1averagejoe]

I'm not a female...but dude grow some balls. Stand up and leave her now. She's cheated on you once. Even if she hasn't cheated on you again, what the hell are you still doing with her? I was in a similar relationship as yours. My ex would always talk crap about her older sister cheating on her boyfriend and sleeping around. Turns out she was cheating on me. If it looks, tastes, smells, and sounds like cheating, it's probably cheating. Leave her now, she obviously didn't learn her lesson last time around and she's taking advantage of you. You proved to her the first time around that she can get away with cheating on you. Prove her wrong, walk away. Personally, I feel there's never a reason for cheating. There's soo much better out there, trust me walk out of this now, because it will only hurt more the longer you stay.

[UnderTheRose]

I'm not a female either, but you really should get out of it now, I agree.If a person can cheat on you once, they can and probably will do it again.Especially if you demonstrate to them that you will stay and it can be moved past so easily.She probably knows she has you no matter what she does, so she takes advantage of it.

Now as for talking to male friends...Maybe you overreact a bit, I don't know the situation, but if she literally spends EVERY free second talking to this guy, and completely ignores you constantly to speak with him/be with him/whatever, yeah that's not normal, and it's not a good sign.And if you are not allowed to have female friends, and you have never cheated on her or anyone else in any way, then by that logic it seems she shouldn't even be let out of the house or to use a phone =/ WTF she cheats and can speak to and hang out with men freely, and you can't speak to a female friend?

[boobaa]

Seems to me you are her bitch, not boyfriend.

A thief always fears thievery.

It isn't proper relationship if one side feels uncomfortable, eventually you begin to hate her and still be somehow attracted, and I believe its not very pleasant. So act now and do something about it. I have seen these types of girls, I wonder if they ever change.

[redbox]

A thief always fears thievery.

It isn't proper relationship if one side feels uncomfortable, eventually you begin to hate her and still be somehow attracted, and I believe its not very pleasant. So act now and do something about it. I have seen these types of girls, I wonder if they ever change.

Very true, and I agree. Recently out of a relationship with a girl who cheated on a previous boyfriend. She treated me similar to how you're being treated. She would want to hang out with certain guys "by herself" swearing she never had a relationship with them. I would find out later that she did have a relationship including sex with them. She was never accepting of me having any female friends and always did what she could to keep me home. But wanted her male friends to be there whenever she needed them. I feel like the fool now for dealing with it for so long, but I'll pass on the same advice as others. Leave. It's hard, I know because the girl I was with was beautiful, long blonde hair, thin, long legs and amazing in bed. But horrible in the relationship. It will only get worse, and get harder to leave the longer you stay.