Inner Game

[IndiReloaded]

But again, this thread isn't about anyone but OV.. This thread has NOTHING to do with women.. this is about OV realizing and letting out that value from inside of him.. that's all this thread is about.. that's what we mean when we say "Inner Game".. So again OV, take your time, and I hope to see your posts follow up to those questions..

Best,

GrkScorp

LOL. Here, GS, let me do the 4th repeat for you. NLP anyone? (OV, go read about this sometime).

[GrkScorp]

Two single mothers?

Oh yeah.. that's right.. lol.. I even remember clipping out the article for Indi's husband..

Anyway.. OV.. take your time and give your answers some effort and thought.. The more you do.. the more you'll realize about yourself.. and ahem.. the sooner you do.. the sooner you will too..

[GrkScorp]

LOL. Here, GS, let me do the 4th repeat for you. NLP anyone? (OV, go read about this sometime).

Indi.. i'm not trying to seduce OV.. lol

And it's not NLP.. it's indirect suggestion.. it's a clinical psychotherapy method.. where you sit back.. and allow the client to discover himself/herself.. you simply guide the client until he/she finds the solutions that are best.. or finds what he/she is looking for in general..

As Milton Erickson said, "I was riding a horse, and I didn't know which way to go back to the stable.. So I let it wander, every so often it would go off the road.. and I would simply tug it back on course.. in just 2 hours, it took me back to the stable"

Believe me OV, you're going to have all of LF watching, and Indi more specifically.. you're going to notice the lack of covert commands (something that's impossible using text-only).. that's because what's important to me is NOT getting you to where I want you to be.. but getting you to where YOU want to be.. I'm not a magician, I can't transform you into something you're not.. I can only help you see who you really are, and what you have to offer.. That's something you'll notice and see more clearly as the ball gets rolling..

So, OV, if you'd be so kind..

[Junket]

I'm not a magician, I can't transform you into something you're not..

Well shit!

I f*ckin' give up, then.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh yeah.. that's right.. lol.. I even remember clipping out the article for Indi's husband..

Anyway.. OV.. take your time and give your answers some effort and thought.. The more you do.. the more you'll realize about yourself.. and ahem.. the sooner you do.. the sooner you will too..

LOL, too funny GS. But okay: An apology for any implied offense would have been better, but your effort is nonetheless appreciated.

Have at it guys, sorry for the divergence OV.

[IndiReloaded]

Indi.. i'm not trying to seduce OV.. lol

And it's not NLP.. it's indirect suggestion.. it's a clinical psychotherapy method.. where you sit back.. and allow the client to discover himself/herself.. you simply guide the client until he/she finds the solutions that are best.. or finds what he/she is looking for in general..

As Milton Erickson said, "I was riding a horse, and I didn't know which way to go back to the stable.. So I let it wander, every so often it would go off the road.. and I would simply tug it back on course.. in just 2 hours, it took me back to the stable"

Believe me OV, you're going to have all of LF watching, and Indi more specifically.. you're going to notice the lack of covert commands (something that's impossible using text-only).. that's because what's important to me is NOT getting you to where I want you to be.. but getting you to where YOU want to be.. I'm not a magician, I can't transform you into something you're not.. I can only help you see who you really are, and what you have to offer.. That's something you'll notice and see more clearly as the ball gets rolling..

So, OV, if you'd be so kind..

Ah, I forgot. You're the one w/the pyschology degree, b/c some relative has one, right?

NLP is a catchpot of all kinds of psych techniques, & its 'practioners' are a hodgepodge of dubious training. That's what makes it such a mess.

I don't remember the names of the techniques anymore but I know when I see them & I will point them out if I think they aren't being used in an upfront manner. You've been warned. I would suggest you just TELL someone you are just going to repeat stuff until they respond b/c you think it will help them. Or better yet, ASK them directly. Its an insult to try to do what you do to someone as bright as OV. I would ignore you too.

[GrkScorp]

I don't remember the names of the techniques anymore but I know when I see them & I will point them out if I think they aren't being used in an upfront manner. You've been warned. I would suggest you just TELL someone you are just going to repeat stuff until they respond b/c you think it will help them. Or better yet, ASK them directly. Its an insult to try to do what you do to someone as bright as OV. I would ignore you too.

To make one thing clear OV asked me the moment he himself created the thread.. and he himself will realize his own value..

Up front, i've already been up front about what you're about to go through.. I'm about to guide you through a mental journey.. and it's a very fine thread that will keep you on course, that's all I can do.. but it is YOU, OV, that has to take that journey.. and only YOU will find what's really inside of you, to familiarize yourself with the value you have to offer, to capture a crystal clear image of a strong and powerful identity that represents an uninhibited OV, an OV fully aware of himself..

Now, if you don't feel comfortable sharing that information with everyone, I understand.. feel free to PM me if that makes you a little more comfortable, that's perfectly understandable..

Best,

GrkScorp

[Only-virgins]

I know you said "meaningful" answers but the questions just aren't really all that deep in my opinion. They ask some things that I can't either A.) remember or B.) don't have an answer for.

- We've all had embarassing moments in our life, while you're thinking through many of those times, i'm sure a couple of them stand out more than others. What are some of those times? How did they make you feel?

I don't really have any because I don't really take risks. I swear the only ones are maybe being rejected by a girl one time, I was younger so that made me feel a bit regretful that I bothered. I haven't had to many embarrassing moments, kind of for the reason that I avoid them like the plague.

- We've all faced challenged in our lives, we face them every day. Some are large, others are small. What are some of the challanges that you've faced in your life? What was going through your mind as you were faced with them for the first time? How was it like to get through them? How did you feel afterwards?

School. I finished and got my masters. I felt accomplished. There really isn't more to say on that.

- I'm sure there've been times where you've felt great about yourself. Maybe it was something you did or said, or maybe it was something that happened. Whatever it was, when you think back to those moments, what were they? How did your body feel like? How was your breathing different? What emotions were going through your head? How did it feel like to feel great about yourself for that moment?

This is kind of the same question as the previous one. I guess it felt great the first time I had sex. I was anxious and in tense but became comfortable quickly and things were fun.

- Every person is unique. Although we're all similar to some degree or another, we have traits, characteristics, and qualities about us that compose our own unique identity. I'm sure you can think of some of those qualities in you. Some people can write an entire book, others are more modest. As you think about all the unique qualities you have, make a list of the 5 best qualities you have that define you as a person. Take a moment to think about them and write them all down. How do they all tie in together? Can you think of moments where you've seen them in action? What were some of those moments?

1.) Success
2.) I'm respectful to other people
3.) resourceful and clever
4.) As of now independent
5.) I can be funny, but that depends on the other person's sense of humor. Also I find myself logical and reasonable...those are always up for debate though and we prove those everyday.

[Only-virgins]

LOL. Here, GS, let me do the 4th repeat for you. NLP anyone? (OV, go read about this sometime).

Is that the Neuro linguistic programming thing? I know about it.

Is this about quality or quantity, OV?

Doesn't putting myself in the biggest group(quantity) raise the probability of me finding that great one(quality)?

Okay, OV, here's what you do: find a girl you are sincerely attracted to. I am assuming you want a relationship, not a simple hook up. Study her from a distance & USE that fine brain to figure out what will catch her attention. Then *do those things*. Be funny, witty, clever, in a slow but steady way. Try to evoke things that will engage her emotions, women are emotional--humor is the easiest to start with. In these things, I agree w/GS, confidence is important, but it needs to be real. Give her time to process what you are doing, observe her responses & do more of what works & less of what doesn't. Just like an experiment! When the time is right (she smiles a lot & seems receptive to you) ask her out to something you enjoy: symphony, the museum, rock climbing, canoeing, volunteer to build houses for poor ppl together.... whatever. Most importantly, tho, TALK to her about things that are important to her & to you. Be fun & funny with depth & w/out guile.

I would like a relationship but I haven't been attracted to a woman that way in a long time. So I don't know, hook ups are the only potential views on women I have. Honestly from the distant view there are just attractive girls and not attractive girls...I don't have that "sincerely interested" in girl. I don't count on it happening anytime soon either. Be witty? Clever? funny? evoke her emotions? in a slow way? Do what works and doesn't? you sound like Grscorp .

What's up with the war analogies?

Weird.

Yea, the war analogies suck. I'm not at war with women here, if so than my enemy carried me for 9 months and gave birth to me.

[GrkScorp]

maybe being rejected by a girl one time, I was younger so that made me feel a bit regretful that I bothered. I haven't had to many embarrassing moments, kind of for the reason that I avoid them like the plague.

Now, before we take care of every question with the attention it deserves, let's start with this one..

I'm going to take this a little slow, because the first thing i've noticed is that you scan/sum.. It doesn't make it impossible, just a little more challenging.. for me..

But back to you.. So.. there was something that happened with some girl under some circumstances.. It must have been a very special girl.. Obviously not anymore.. but at that moment, i'm sure you had some powerful forces in place, motivating you to take that risk for her.. That's usually the case.. not to try and generalize what happened to you or anything.. But I remember what it felt like.. There was this girl named Pamela back in school (that's her real name, btw).. Now that I look at her, I feel like such an idiot to have ever had such feelings for her.. now she's short, chubby, and not at all that attractive, if you would ask me to go out with her now, i'd have to politely decline.. but back then, I don't know what it was about her, but she had that special something.. At that moment, she was warm, friendly, happy, cute, sweet, adorable.. When i'd hear the sound of her voice talk to me and say my name, my ears would tingle.. when she would look at me, i'd gaze deep into her eyes and get lost in her smile for what seemed like hours in what was really only seconds.. but what really made me melt was when she stood next to me during choir, and our arms and legs would brush against eachother.. I hated singing, I always thought it was gay.. but at that moment, I was like those guys who join yoga classes to be next to that someone they fancy.. Anyway.. I don't remember how it happened exactly, but at some point I asked her if she wanted to hang out during the weekend, she was the first person I ever asked out.. and to add to that first.. the first "no" I ever heard.. I believe she said something like "I'm sorry, but i'm really busy".. I got the message, I was young, no student of DeAngelo's yet, but I wasn't an idiot.. I remember feeling numb at that moment.. I litterally felt "nothing" both emotionally and physically.. It wasn't until I got home that I started to feel upset.. it took a while, but the feelings started to build up fast.. The first thing I stopped doing was talking to my friends.. I just wanted to be alone.. When I realized that wasn't helping, I started feeling hate.. at her.. at myself.. I hated the way I felt at that moment.. like a failure, a loser, unwanted & unloved.. I didn't want to feel that way again anytime soon.. and to be perfectly honest with you.. I didn't ask out an other girl for well over a year until I finished with a seminar/workshop I was attending..

Now, I'm sure her name wasn't Pamela, and i'm sure a lot of details in your story are quite different from mine, but one thing that's the same is how it left us feeling.. which is normal.. that's just how every guy would feel if someone they really cared about didn't feel the same way..

What I want to know.. (whenever you have the time to give this some thought).. Is when did she say "no"? How did she say it?.. and how did you feel like after it happened? What were the thoughts that where racing through your mind?

Take as much time as you need OV..

Best,

GrkScorp

[misombra]

yeah ov. take your whole life if you want. hopefully there's a picture of her on your bed stand so you can remind yourself of your love every day.

let your obsession continue to be a succubus in your life.

[GrkScorp]

yeah ov. take your whole life if you want. hopefully there's a picture of her on your bed stand so you can remind yourself of your love every day.

let your obsession continue to be a succubus in your life.

Yeah yeah.. therapy c0ck-block.. we get it.. ha ha.. funny.. now seriously..

OV is clearly not interested in "her" anymore.. and he's not about to do that, nor was I suggesting he do so.. I just want to get a feel of the whole picture.. I have a pretty good idea of what's going on already.. but we're not going to get there until i'm 100% sure..

Show OV some respect.. he started this thread because he wants change.. he's seeking to improve his sense of identity.. and that's not going to happen with the aid of backround noise and other rude distractions.. So, please show some respect for OV and give him the comfort he needs to express himself fully.. thanks

[misombra]

Yeah yeah.. therapy c0ck-block.. we get it.. ha ha.. funny.. now seriously..

OV is clearly not interested in "her" anymore.. and he's not about to do that, nor was I suggesting he do so.. I just want to get a feel of the whole picture.. I have a pretty good idea of what's going on already.. but we're not going to get there until i'm 100% sure..

Show OV some respect.. he started this thread because he wants change.. he's seeking to improve his sense of identity.. and that's not going to happen with the aid of backround noise and other rude distractions.. So, please show some respect for OV and give him the comfort he needs to express himself fully.. thanks

i can say whatever i want.

i don't think ov wants to change. i think he wants justification to continue his obsession.

[IndiReloaded]

Show OV some respect.. he started this thread because he wants change.. he's seeking to improve his sense of identity.. and that's not going to happen with the aid of backround noise and other rude distractions.. So, please show some respect for OV and give him the comfort he needs to express himself fully.. thanks

I agree with this. Just stop w/the mind**** type lingo & I think we'll all get along just fine. You are NOT a psychologist, despite your pretentions to such (your last post was a perfect example of this). I said before it just muddles the info. If you really feel its necessary as an example, then state it as such. OV, as you now realize, is quite the intellect so, ironically, the only one who has been disrespecting OV is you. We all understand how bright he is.

BTW, GS, on the chance this is news to you, perhaps you should take a look at your own inability to drop the 'act'. I've seen ppl get stuck in Pysch mode like this & its terrible for them. Just a quick aside for your own benefit.

[IndiReloaded]

Is that the Neuro linguistic programming thing? I know about it.

Yes. Its pseudo science & the ppl who try to use it do not (usually) have any formal training in psychology. Think of monkeys playing with a cigarette lighter. GS posts to you have been riddled with drops from this type of thing. I think you get this, so I don't need to keep harping on it. BTW, that's his issue to deal with and doesn't mean there's nothing to learn from him, just be aware of the context of things. This is why Miso said to take things w/a grain of salt. You'll do this naturally, but its good to say b/c you're not the only one following this thread.

Doesn't putting myself in the biggest group(quantity) raise the probability of me finding that great one(quality)?

Yes, of course. You need to meet TONS of girls to figure out: 1. what you actually want, 2. how to meet her. But beware that you don't lose someone really great in the process of using 'the game'. Sometimes, luck happens & she will be there sooner than you expect, life can be unpredictable that way. I would suggest you pick & choose from the methods you read & avoid turning away someone who might be your 'keeper' by avoiding the 'asshole' techniques. GS may tell you to ignore this advice, but remember the context: he isn't coming from a place of a successful LTR.

Personally, I was much more attracted to men like Sphinx, Mish, Fras or Cam (my husband is this sort) who has confidence w/o these games. But the dilemma is *getting* to that point of confidence, I understand. And I think there is SOME benefit to some of these confidence techniques to separate the wheat from the chaff. Particularly focus on the ones that involve YOUR self-control (as opposed to controlling others--that's just ego sop).

I would like a relationship but I haven't been attracted to a woman that way in a long time. So I don't know, hook ups are the only potential views on women I have.

Yes, so again, volume is key. Agreed. But when you see quality, how will you know? And what will you do so she isn't turned off by 'game'. B/c, despite what GS says, he has little experience w/women who won't take kindly to attempts at manipulation. In my case, I ignored men like this. I didn't despise them exactly, but I found them too superficial, too wedded to a 'method' that they themselves didn't actually understand the utility of. Or when it should be dropped. Don't be like that.

Be witty? Clever? funny? evoke her emotions? in a slow way? Do what works and doesn't? you sound like Grscorp .

I already said I agree with SOME of what GS says. I don't need to give specifics b/c he is already doing so. I WILL tell you when I think he's full of it, tho, and why. All the things that have to do w/learning to control YOURSELF in an interaction is key. That advice about not showing TOO much interest to that girl & leaving off before things decayed into awkwardness was perfect. But the stuff about subtle insults to girls (or anyone), being mean to strangers in bars--that stuff is all shit & there is no %age in it except to try to artificially build up one's ego at the expense of another. Or to impress shallow women who are into abusive guys.

Monkeys w/lighters still manage to set trees on fire, just that most will also eventually burn themselves in the process. Some get smart, tho, and learn to keep a bucket of water close by. LOL, sorry, I'm feeling amusing today.

This is just as true for women as for men, BTW.