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Thread: Inner Game

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    Personally, I was much more attracted to men like Sphinx, Mish, Fras or Cam (my husband is this sort) who has confidence w/o these games.
    Mmm, the feeling is mutual

    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    But the dilemma is *getting* to that point of confidence, I understand. And I think there is SOME benefit to some of these confidence techniques to separate the wheat from the chaff. Particularly focus on the ones that involve YOUR self-control (as opposed to controlling others--that's just ego sop).
    What I like about Scorp is that he seems to have the "Approach and initiation" technique worked out quite well. I think all those books and experience are paying dividents in this area. Approach and initiation are very important in the sense that this is "do / repeat" process you need to go through in order to find a good match. You need to be not just good at it, but "sweep them of their feet" and, once you break it down it's not too complicated. You just have to look good, be funny, be interesting and create value for the girl. You have to be that perfect guy she's always wanted to be with and once that feeling is in all other patterns follow from there.

    I've done it a couple of times and I saw that "spell" women fall under. It would be great to be able to cast that spell over and over again. It would make finding a good match so much easier.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
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    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    when you see quality, how will you know?
    Didn't you answer it in the first part. When I SEE quality, how will I know? Well, I'm seeing it right?

    I don't think GS is trying to show me how to aggravate and annoy women. Those were things in other threads anyways. The walking away thing is completely not me and since even you say that is a good thing and works I have to learn things like that. I for some reason have this dumb logical brain that tells me I should you know...keep talking to the person I like...probably cause it freaking damn it makes sense..
    "Why are you an atheist?"
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    I agree with this. Just stop w/the mind**** type lingo & I think we'll all get along just fine. You are NOT a psychologist, despite your pretentions to such (your last post was a perfect example of this). I said before it just muddles the info. If you really feel its necessary as an example, then state it as such. OV, as you now realize, is quite the intellect so, ironically, the only one who has been disrespecting OV is you. We all understand how bright he is.

    BTW, GS, on the chance this is news to you, perhaps you should take a look at your own inability to drop the 'act'. I've seen ppl get stuck in Pysch mode like this & its terrible for them. Just a quick aside for your own benefit.
    Indi.. I think it's been long understood despite you trying desperately to push a moot point.. that i'm not a psychologist nor a psych major..

    I've studied much on the subject though, and i've helped many guys and girls (mostly guys) get on with their lives.. (school, relationships, work problems, esteem issues, mild depression)

    Now, OV is just days away from feeling great about the wonderful person that he is.. it's a realization process.. it's not magic.. it's not psychology.. it's just conversation.. what i'm curious about is why YOU are offering such resistance to this? You really don't like seeing guys happy do you?

    OV, if you'd still like to continue this conversation, which is almost finished, feel free to PM me.. I came to realize many things today while sitting in the bathroom looking at the water drops rolling down the shower door.. and while singing "A whole new world"..
    Last edited by GrkScorp; 20-02-08 at 07:48 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GrkScorp View Post
    Indi.. I think it's been long understood despite you trying desperately to push a moot point.. that i'm not a psychologist nor a psych major..
    No, actually this is the first time you have admitted such explicitly. Thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by GrkScorp View Post
    I've studied much on the subject though, and i've helped many guys and girls (mostly guys) get on with their lives.. (school, relationships, work problems, esteem issues, mild depression)
    I respect your experience, GS. Its just different from the experience that others have, including my own. There are many paths; you have found one that works for you & that is terrific but it may not be a perfect fit for everyone.

    Quote Originally Posted by GrkScorp View Post
    Now, OV is just days away from feeling great about the wonderful person that he is.. it's a realization process.. it's not magic.. it's not psychology.. it's just conversation.. what i'm curious about is why YOU are offering such resistance to this? You really don't like seeing guys happy do you?
    GS, stop being a baby, please. This must be the first time anyone w/any depth of knowledge has actually called you on your methods. This will be good for you, then. OV knows explicitly my motives b/c I've told him. Its not to prevent his 'self-actualization', LOL.

    Consider that once again, you resort to generalization & hyperbole. I was explicit in my examples of what ideas I think problematic & what I agreed with.

    Since you don't seem to have experience or training discussing IDEAS, I will be explicit: don't take this personally. Not everyone will agree w/you, that's just how it is. My experiences & others disagree w/yours. Feel free to disagree w/these ideas likewise, but respond w/o pysch & without appeal to emotional/rhetorical methods or I will call you on it. Doing so guarantees a clearer, richer learning experience for everyone. I hope I'm being clear enough on this? B/c you are right, this is OVs thread. If you want me to psychoanalyze YOU, start your own thread.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins View Post
    Didn't you answer it in the first part. When I SEE quality, how will I know? Well, I'm seeing it right?
    My bad. Women are less explicitly visual than men. I meant 'see' in an overall sense. "Quality" means different things to different ppl. Have you generated an actual list, either outright or mental as to your 'Top 5' traits you want/need in a partner? By quality, I mean someone who pings most or all of those w/o any dealbreakers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins View Post
    I don't think GS is trying to show me how to aggravate and annoy women. Those were things in other threads anyways.
    There were some, for sure, that would definitely irritate women who are wise to the 'game'. I or someone else will point them out when they come up. Beyond that, its up to you to decide what to do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins View Post
    The walking away thing is completely not me and since even you say that is a good thing and works I have to learn things like that. I for some reason have this dumb logical brain that tells me I should you know...keep talking to the person I like...probably cause it freaking damn it makes sense..
    I was reluctant to post this (its a work in progress) but your learning style is knowledge-based, OV, so I think this will help. Just remember you have to actually *apply* what you read. And don't mess w/your own 'deep tape' too much, man, it will make you nuts.

    GS, if you navigate this site, use your power for good, not evil, okay?

    [url]http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=9750&cn=353[/url]
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    Yes, of course. You need to meet TONS of girls to figure out: 1. what you actually want, 2. how to meet her. But beware that you don't lose someone really great in the process of using 'the game'. Sometimes, luck happens & she will be there sooner than you expect, life can be unpredictable that way. I would suggest you pick & choose from the methods you read & avoid turning away someone who might be your 'keeper' by avoiding the 'asshole' techniques. GS may tell you to ignore this advice, but remember the context: he isn't coming from a place of a successful LTR.

    Personally, I was much more attracted to men like Sphinx, Mish, Fras or Cam (my husband is this sort) who has confidence w/o these games. But the dilemma is *getting* to that point of confidence, I understand. And I think there is SOME benefit to some of these confidence techniques to separate the wheat from the chaff. Particularly focus on the ones that involve YOUR self-control (as opposed to controlling others--that's just ego sop).
    Indi, my approach was largely Eriksonian, passive, and I was more interested in OV reaching his own goals & realizations.. YOU on the other hand, ironically, have taken a more aggressive NLP approach.. and you call ME the "asshole"? Anyway.. i'm not going to bother entertaining that little detail.. I know we're both reasonable people.. And I can't begin to appologize for the conflict of interest I constantly place myself in.. On one hand, I do want to help.. help guys like OV, like opaka, like DM.. who are great guys.. and are constantly being tooled by other guys, or by other women (directly or indirectly).. on the other hand.. Some women ARE animals.. and they deserve no better than basic dog-training.. but I no longer bother with such women as potential LTRs.. nor do I encourage other guys to.. I have more strait female friends than male friends.. and I wouldn't want someone doing these things to them.. Naturally, I would be frustrated too.. so I completely understand your frustration to what i'm saying.. but it's the conflict I have to dive into..

    but this thread wasn't at all about that.. perhaps you unintentionally overlooked the little detail that i've been stressing ever since this thread started that it's about "Inner" game.. OV's self-control/internal reality/state of mind.. having NOTHING to do with external presentation.. having NOTHING to do with tactics or games.. just self awareness and realization..

    The importance of "Inner" game is monumentally greater and more important than any little gambits that have worked in the past.. That's because with "Inner" game.. there is no acting.. there are no games.. there are no tactics.. all it is.. is self awareness.. perfect and total self awareness.. and through that, geniune and unlimited confidence..

    THAT'S why I stressed that I can't make him into someone he's not.. because there's nothing fake or artificial about it.. and there's nothing aggressive on my part about it.. is there a premeditated conversational element involved.. YES.. and I even told OV so in the very beginning.. before this thread existed.. but it was HE who created it.. knowing very well what we were about to do.. I told him explicitly before-hand.. but "Inner" game can only be reached by OV and him alone! That's why all I can offer is ONLY a very passive approach.. letting him realize all he has to about himself..
    If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    GS, if you navigate this site, use your power for good, not evil, okay?

    [url]http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=9750&cn=353[/url]
    Quick point.. OV does NOT have a "problem"..

    Secondly.. I think you misunderstand where i'm comming from.. if you think my goal is to be evil.. if you think I live to "punish" women and throw their games back to them.. for the most part.. that's not at all my goal (the only exceptions are women who REALLY deserve it.. which is very rare.. I think there was some girl from the UK that i'd place into that category, Foxy-something.. ugh)

    I only help people who deserve it.. guys AND girls.. and if you think i'm cruel to women.. I should get my friend Carla to tell you what custom-made roller-coaster rides i've told her to put this guy through.. (he beat her, he deserved it)

    In the beginning, yes, it's a battle for control.. try handing a child dynamite and see how fast it'll try and light it up.. as Milton Erikson said "with great power comes great responsibility".. dominance and total control can be intoxicating.. but that's the intoxication of "outer" game.. that's simply not real.. I STRONGLY advocate "inner" game.. because it's self-awareness.. it's mutual respect amung two mature people.. and that's really the objective.. the objective is NEVER to play games to dominate and control.. the goal is "no games" and to conclude to a state of mutual respect..

    And it's not something exclusive to relationships at all.. The best example is actually work! But for this purpose, i've already painted a crystal clear picture of OV's value and power.. but i'm not interested in shoving it down his throat.. it's not even important what "I" see.. what's important is what OV sees in himself.. what he realizes about himself.. and that he's constantly fully aware and completely content & satisfied.. It's not only important to come off as more attractive and genuine.. but it also makes for a better relationship..
    If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.

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    It must be mentally exhausting to suspect the world is full of game-players that you have to out-maneuver. I find it much more pleasurable to avoid those kind of people, which doesn't strike me as being all that hard to do.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by GrkScorp View Post

    And it's not something exclusive to relationships at all.. The best example is actually work! But for this purpose, i've already painted a crystal clear picture of OV's value and power.. but i'm not interested in shoving it down his throat.. it's not even important what "I" see.. what's important is what OV sees in himself.. what he realizes about himself.. and that he's constantly fully aware and completely content & satisfied.. It's not only important to come off as more attractive and genuine.. but it also makes for a better relationship..
    So how do I do that? I haven't really learned anything. I answered some question which really mean nothing to me. I don't know what else to say. Though, as far as the debate goes...I agree and think that I need some help with social interaction. I missed something back in high school because I just stuck around the same 2 or 3 friends...yea, I was one of those people. Now, your story example with the girl that you liked was interesting but isn't like mine all though similar. I one day simply walked into class and saw her. The world stood still since that day. I was scared shit less to do anything about it even though she sent signals like a landing strip for an airplane. 2 years of waiting for me she managed to pull out...can you believe that? I saw her holding back her tears sometimes. and she was cute on her own cause clearly other guys were trying as well. 2 years after all of a sudden she decides it is time to start dating, I am sure it has something to do with her bullshit girlfriends telling her that this is just nothing but a crush..women buy into that crap. As I walk past her I notice that spark in her eye is gone, she doesn't care anymore...nothing hurt worse than that. The guy she starts dating is completely using these tricks, the way he approached her and everything was fake as shit. She bought into it though, she was tired of waiting. Was I angry at him? for a little while...but than my hatred turned towards her..than when I realized she waited two years...the hatred turned towards me. So years later I thought I would be over it, I would get another chance...but nothing...no one like her, no one to replace her, and only haunting thoughts of her and the mistakes I made...and the dreams of what should have been. No one understand the miserable existence of a love life I had to lead. Funny thing is, I have had no problem pushing myself in life in every other category where these other players have usually failed. The guy she was dating now works at a hot dog stand, when I saw him recently he remembered me...he seemed embarrassed about something..I have no clue why as I didn't really know him...I asked him how she is doing figuring he will have no clue that I really didn't talk to her and apparently he wasn't dating her anymore. That didn't help at all as than I knew she was just being played by men because of me. I am making awesome money, I have a rewarding and prestiges career, and I still have a great family. I can't forget the way she looked at me though. Now I don't know what to do...there is a part of me that wants to just learn some trick to get to know women FAST and just basically screw with them...no remorse...I have had none from her or anyone. I don't feel like a chance for a LTR exists in the first place.

    sorry about the rambling, I can't believe I said all this.

    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    It must be mentally exhausting to suspect the world is full of game-players that you have to out-maneuver. I find it much more pleasurable to avoid those kind of people, which doesn't strike me as being all that hard to do.
    You just have to protect yourself against them, try actually competing with them. That is far more frustrating.
    Last edited by Only-virgins; 20-02-08 at 10:51 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GrkScorp View Post
    Quick point.. OV does NOT have a "problem"..
    Fergodsake GS, get over yourself already. I never said OV had a problem, it is just a site that has some interesting information about how to change one's thinking. The url of the site is immaterial, the info may or may not be useful but its data.

    The evil comment was a joke (hence the wink). You are right, tho. I did deliberately psych you (only a tiny amount, really) & I'm sorry; its unpleasant tho, isn't it? Point made? I think so.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins View Post
    So how do I do that? I haven't really learned anything. I answered some question which really mean nothing to me. I don't know what else to say.
    LOL. Not laughing at you, OV, just that I predicted this comment.

    Though, as far as the debate goes...I agree and think that I need some help with social interaction. I missed something back in high school because I just stuck around the same 2 or 3 friends...yea, I was one of those people.
    OV, I *really* understand this. Deja vu, lol. JOIN something, a group, something you enjoy that you will meet ppl. A dojo, a music group, a cooking/art/language class. I know it sounds hokey, but Toastmasters groups are REALLY good for building up speaking confidence (also good for your career). These are just ideas I have, others may have better/more suitable ones?

    As I walk past her I notice that spark in her eye is gone, she doesn't care anymore...nothing hurt worse than that. The guy she starts dating is completely using these tricks, the way he approached her and everything was fake as shit. She bought into it though, she was tired of waiting. Was I angry at him? for a little while...but than my hatred turned towards her..than when I realized she waited two years...the hatred turned towards me.
    OV, she was young, you were young. You made a mistake. Forgive yourself, and her for crissake already. Let it GO, man.

    So years later I thought I would be over it, I would get another chance...but nothing...no one like her, no one to replace her, and only haunting thoughts of her and the mistakes I made...and the dreams of what should have been. No one understand the miserable existence of a love life I had to lead. Funny thing is, I have had no problem pushing myself in life in every other category where these other players have usually failed. The guy she was dating now works at a hot dog stand, when I saw him recently he remembered me...he seemed embarrassed about something..I have no clue why as I didn't really know him...I asked him how she is doing figuring he will have no clue that I really didn't talk to her and apparently he wasn't dating her anymore. That didn't help at all as than I knew she was just being played by men because of me.
    Okay, OV, this is full of all kinds of wrong-thinking. It may be your feelings, but your logic around them is totally messed up. I'm sure others will be able to explain this to you. Be back later tho to help out too if I can.

    I am making awesome money, I have a rewarding and prestiges career, and I still have a great family.
    These are your your strengths. You have more also.

    ...there is a part of me that wants to just learn some trick to get to know women FAST and just basically screw with them...no remorse...I have had none from her or anyone.
    You didn't have ANYTHING with her. Again, this is wrong-thinking.

    I don't feel like a chance for a LTR exists in the first place.
    Again, wrong thinking OV. Makes me think of that Gretzky hockey quote: 'You will miss 100% of the shots you never take'.

    Sorry about the rambling, I can't believe I said all this.
    Its okay, OV, we all really like you. Everyone wants to try to help if we can. Lots of diverse experience on here, so hopefully something will click. But ultimately, this will have to come from you.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins View Post
    I can't forget the way she looked at me though. Now I don't know what to do...there is a part of me that wants to just learn some trick to get to know women FAST and just basically screw with them...no remorse...I have had none from her or anyone. I don't feel like a chance for a LTR exists in the first place.
    OV, what might help you is the "cave man" (I.e. The way I get after a few shots and pints of amber fluid in a club) You act as if the world is part of your cave and is there solely for you to explore and play with. When you approach an attractive girl you approach with confidence and certainty as if she's already into you. Doesn't matter what she looks like or who or what she thinks she is. She's lucky, because you happen to find her attractive and grace her with your attention. Once you think like that, your whole attitude changes. You can get dozens of girls like her just like that if you want, but what the hell you're a nice guy so you'll do her a favour and talk to her. You no longer worry about right and wrong, you're no longer nervous or bound by your own consciousness, you just act natural with certainty that what you do is awesome. You project confidence, dominance, certainty that you are a master of your own domain , you are reliable and you can get things done. And most importantly you give everything a shot. This attitude radiates well and lots of girls seems to pick up on it and be attracted to it. Don't ask me why, just know that it works
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    The evil comment was a joke (hence the wink). You are right, tho. I did deliberately psych you (only a tiny amount, really) & I'm sorry; its unpleasant tho, isn't it? Point made? I think so.
    I'm sorry to disappoint you Indi, and I mean no disrespect from this, but as cute and amusing as it is to watch you think you've pulled one.. my entire focus is on OV for this thread.. but if it puts a smile on your face.. the least I can do is play along "oh! you got me!"

    Now.. back to OV..

    OV, i'm going to throw out something your way.. and take it as you see fit.. but from what you've said so far..

    It was really interesting to notice that she was the most embarrassing moment of your life, and understandably so.. But what was really interesting, was when you said you were scared sh*tless, even though she sent you more signals than a landing strip.. Trying to rationalize this "fear", naturally one would look at what you'd have to suffer a loss from.. What reasonable damage you'd suffer.. And as you spend more time trying to think about it, you can help but notice that you can't really find a meaningful rationalization.. In fact, when you think about it, realistically, you had nothing to suffer a loss of.. The issue then popped up of you considering yourself as not being a risk-taker.. I have to admit.. I was just as convinced as you at first.. But then I took a moment to consider what it really means to attempt and finish a Master's degree.. I remember what it felt like to first apply to the Master's program.. every class I took carried with it the risk of failure, the risk of destroying my GPA, the risk of not finishing the program, not finding a job, losing potential income, and so on and so forth.. But we did it.. YOU did it.. and when you did.. How did you feel? Accomplished..

    I struggled to make some sense of this inconsistency, until I looked deep into what it ment to list "Success" as one of your best qualities, and place it first.. Success, is a state of mind.. There's a vision, a goal, and a plan on how to reach that goal.. that's the basis for successful thinking.. And like you've demonstrated, that's in fact a very rare (it really is) and admirable quality to be proud of.. but not because of the (outcome), but because of the state of mind! You have the state of mind it takes to be successful in not just what you naturally put your mind to focus on.. but ANYTHING you let your mind focus on.. If you wanted to build a house, you could probably do it.. If you wanted to start a company, you could probably do it.. and if you wanted to attract women, you'll notice how easily you can shift that focus and be able to do it..

    So, what's holding you back? In short, YOU are.. but for slightly more subtle reasons than you'd think.. The second quality on your list is "respectful of others".. While you think about what exactly that means to you, I found it interesting how you described that girl's ex-bf.. He was largely game-playing, non-genuine, unsuccessful, and in one sense, disrespectful.. This was obviously exactly the type of guy you didn't want to be, even if it ment getting her! Why? Because you identify yourself as "respectful of others".. and if those are the "means" to that end, you'd rather not.. That's understandable.. and I strongly agree.. "outer game" is novice.. "inner game" is where the magic & power of "attraction" lies..

    But why the freeze-up? For two years? That's the gist of this whole tango OV.. Your misinterpretation and misunderstanding of the qualities that make you great.. YES! You still ARE "respectful of others".. but what exactly does that mean? Surely it doesn't mean not talking to others because you want to be polite and not be rude by "bothering" them.. Quiet and respectful are not the same.. Respect is something that takes place actively, not passively.. respect is being aware of the feelings of others, the weaknesses of others, and having the ability to tear them apart, to toy with them, but instead, being responsible and considerate enough to choose to refrain from doing so.. To a large degree, being respectful to others is not congruent to being timid.. Humans are social creatures, in need of affection, attention, validation, and love.. Would you consider it respectful to see someone in need of such things, and deprive them of even the most basic forms of affection?

    Obviously.. not.. and that all becomes apparent, and ties in completely with the moment you felt great about yourself.. The first time you had sex.. On a very basic level, yes, your human needs were met for the first time, you reached a milestone in your life, and were able to enjoy that experience with a special person.. But there are two additional layers to this.. The first is the thrill of success.. don't forget, you're a scan/sum type.. your mind's model of learning takes information in bulk, it chops out details like a butcher.. you're quite content with that being the cost of efficient thinking.. But you noticed the process unfold before your eyes, the events that led to sex.. It satisfied your desire to set out to get what you want.. and to get it.. (your successful, state of mind).. But what's more interesting.. and I don't know if you'll realize this right away, or if it may take some time before it sinks in.. to notice your desire to be "respectful of others".. For years you misunderstood the meaning of this quality you identified yourself with.. up until this point.. it took a while.. sex felt awkward initially, but then started to become fun.. you started to feel a sense of fulfilling the needs of the other person.. affection, attention, validation, love, and at that moment.. sexual lust..
    If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.

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    So, naturally.. i'm sure you can start to slowly see what's been holding you back..

    All these years.. perhaps by accident, perhaps by cultural programming, maybe religion or parenting, or even just a simple misunderstanding of what it ment exactly to be "respectful of others".. you held yourself back, because when you identified yourself as "respectful of others".. you took it to mean not like those other pig/dog men.. but in doing so.. at some point, and to some degree.. you crossed the line.. you pushed the meaning of the phrase so much that you took it to mean "reserved, polite, nice"..

    That was natural.. you didn't want to associate yourself with feeling like those other guys who you considered to be jerks.. But what you perhaps overlooked was that these guys were jerks for maybe many OTHER reasons.. In doing so.. for those two years.. the girl looked at you, practically begged you.. but you stood frozen.. NOT because you didn't have that (success, state of mind) to get what you wanted.. NOT because you didn't deserve someone like her.. and NOT for any other reason your mind can't begin to come up with.. the reason was simple.. You simply didn't want to feel and come off as those guys you didn't want to associate yourself with.. You didn't know what to do.. so you thought you were just being respectful by not being like those other guys..

    I know it's a lot to take in.. but the first thing you may find interesting is that, the first person you felt hate towards was "him".. as you first started to feel a mix of frustration and confusion for why she would fall for someone like him.. at some point, you realized that it wasn't his fault.. you then temporarily felt hate towards her; that's understandable.. she was the source of those bad emotions at that moment.. but you eventually found yourself finally feeling hate for yourself.. unable to rationalize it fully and completely.. until now.. It's amazing how the mind sometimes speaks in code.. but it never fails to cry out.. and yours didn't.. you felt that hate.. and it felt very real.. but now that you think back on it, it's understandable how you almost can't help but laugh at it..

    Since that time.. you've had success in ALL areas of your life.. you've realized that you do take risks, risks that bear serious consequences if failure takes place.. and you've also seen the rewards from taking those risks.. be it an advanced degree.. a successful job.. earning potential.. or sex.. the important thing to notice for yourself is that you've actually already seen the change you want for yourself..

    And today.. I can only hope you've started to realize what "respectful of others" really means to you.. This is a lot to take in for one day OV.. but if you're reading this far down.. you'll be happy to know that there's not much left to say.. It's really up to you at this point.. We're miles away.. and I can't tell exactly when you're going to start feeling this change.. It seems to me that you've already started feeling it.. but what's really important is how it seems to YOU.. i'm not going to lie.. these things do take time.. there are a few people who feel that realization about themselves instantly.. (I hate those people too, we all do).. but for normal people, it does take a couple of days to sink in.. just like anything I guess.. But after it does.. you shouldn't just sit there feeling great about yourself.. I mean, yes, take a moment and do that.. but go out there and explore for yourself what it really means to be "respectful of others"..

    Like you've heard me say before..

    "I hear, and I know.. I see, and I understand.. I do, and I learn"

    Best,

    GrkScorp
    Last edited by GrkScorp; 20-02-08 at 01:47 PM.
    If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.

  15. #90
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    Okay GS, you aren't getting this. I promised OV I would back off you, but you need to understand your format is wrong for his mindset. Besides, everything you posted, all that psychobabble, I already summarized (w/a lot fewer words, lol) in a post in another thread earlier.

    If you really want to help OV (and I can't in this, b/c frankly I'm waay off the dating market else I would) here's the format:

    1. Provide a concrete example.

    2. BRIEFLY explain why the example works and/or what he might expect from this.

    He's a scientist. Scientists already know how to DO by experiment. You're not telling him anything he doesn't already know. He wants to know WHAT TO DO, as many different examples as possible so he can pick/choose from them. Did you not understand how quickly he tried that 'back off' technique w/that girl in the other thread? Mish gave a good example above; this is the kind of help, I think, that OV is looking for.

    Lemme know if I'm wrong, OV, but I think that's about it in a nutshell.

    Good luck guys, and good night.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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