Inner Game

[Charlie Boy II]

only scorp could pack so much bullshit into one thread

[GrkScorp]

1. Provide a concrete example.

2. BRIEFLY explain why the example works and/or what he might expect from this.

He's a scientist. Scientists already know how to DO by experiment. You're not telling him anything he doesn't already know. He wants to know WHAT TO DO, as many different examples as possible so he can pick/choose from them.

First of all.. the whole point was so this is not a "tactics" thread.. OV knows that if all he wants are tactics, all he needs to do is ask..

I could sit here for weeks and give him examples and case studies of what's happened with me and other guys.. why it happened.. the subcommunication and thought process that was taking place.. blah blah.. but that wouldn't really help..

That's just throwing tactics at OV in hopes that he'll remember a handfull and apply a couple at the right moment.. In short, that's not OV being himself..

That's why I advocate "Inner" game.. (I think the word "game" is throwing you off).. There's nothing fake about inner game.. And yes.. it's very frustrating for guys to go through the process.. women go through it much better.. guys want hard facts, quick little tactics they can use on the field that have already been tested to work.. and they overlook the value of this..

Honestly.. the reason I strongly advocate Inner game is because when OV, but not just OV, anyone for that matter.. crushes those limiting beliefs they have about themselves, those misconceptions, or anything that's holding them back.. well, then they're simply not held back anymore..

In OV, I could see a situation where i'd break down kino to a science for him.. and i'm sure Sphinx would do the same.. but something inside OV would either prevent him from using it, or would have him hesitate and use it after that open window.. or worse! he might just use it dogmatically when the vibe isn't right at all..

That's the tragedy with going caveman on american girls.. European & Latin american girls are all for it.. if they're in the states, one thing they miss and die for is a MAN.. but personally, I wouldn't go caveman on an american girl until at least 30mins into the interaction.. (and after plenty of kino build-up).. there are some women though where you can just tell, they want to be cavemanned..

The only part of Inner game that's left for OV is when he starts to feel what we've talked about.. and after he sees the difference it makes in his life.. even the little things, especially the little things.. and he gets a little comfortable with that realization.. (because what's important to realize is that defenition and interpretation of what he considers to be "respectful").. but when he's comfortable with that.. the capstone is "state of mind" & "mentality".. which is sort of like the caveman example..

To be honest with you.. I used to be a total push-over nice guy.. and it wasn't until DeAngelo stressed the importance of Inner game that I changed.. But my realization didn't take place with women.. it took place in the NYC subway system.. NYC was a playgroud to break out of nice-guy-overly-polite-push-over mode.. People would walk on the sidewalk and try and walk on the right side (where i'd have to walk by).. but instead of move out of the way (something I used to do before).. I would stand there, look them in the eye as if to tell them "you're going to have to move, because i'm not moving, you have your side of the sidewalk, this one is mine".. And you know what? I was blown away, but EVERYONE would move.. there were some spiteful people which found it hard on their ego.. but instead of not moving, they would just try and brush arms or bump shoulders while walking past me.. On the subway.. (I would have to push through and excuse myself amung the masses).. but now I would just walk strait down.. Looking at everyone in the eye, then the floor, as if to tell them to move.. to imply it would be rude/uncivilized of them if they didn't.. and in a non-comfrontational manner, they all moved aside.. Something so little, so small, so simple.. was actually life changing..

In college, law school, work, and even with friends.. everyone looked towards me when they needed someone assertive.. friends walked behind me as I paved the way for them through the masses of NYC.. co-workers looked to me as a means to get some change around the office.. in college and law school.. other students looked towards me for leadership (something I actually never had in HS).. and the very last thing that followed from all of that.. was this attitude and mentality that women picked up on like fish formula.. (which means they also pick up on the wrong mentality like 7 month old garbage)

That's what I learned.. and that's mostly what a lot of guys learned.. everyone had their own story, their own history, their own experience.. but in the end, the issue was very similar.. From a young age, we did the mistake of associating "good & nice" with "weak, submissive, reserved, quiet".. maybe because of religion, or parenting, or harsh schooling, or simply not wanting to be like those guys we considered "jerks" who were anything BUT "weak, submissive, reserved, quiet"..

And as I realized that.. I noticed that this alone (inner game) was the entire game.. all other tactics/strategy/games were dwarfed in the face of inner game.. this was powerful.. because it was genuine.. because it was complete and total self-awareness.. from that came confidence (real confidence).. came assertiveness, a powerful pressence that radiated like an aura everyone could pick up on.. and microcal (microcalibration) where people became easy to read & understand.. AFTER that point, were games/tactics/strategy of any use.. because before that, I would have simply come off like a bad actor saying lines from a script he was reading for the first time.. but after that.. you're just a guy who's fully aware of the world around him.. the people around him.. the thoughts they're thinking.. the motives they have.. and they all seem like clay.. waiting to be molded.. and the "tactics" you learn from that point.. are much like your "tools" to mold these balls of clay into anything you want.. (that's IF you want to mold them).. but notice that even if you don't have these tactics at your disposal.. you still see the world in such a way.. and honestly.. that ALONE.. can give you the results you're looking for..

[IndiReloaded]

First of all.. the whole point was so this is not a "tactics" thread.. OV knows that if all he wants are tactics, all he needs to do is ask..

He did. Explicitly. You're just not paying attention, GS, you've gone off on this psych tangent that is all about you despite your claims to the contrary. You are so keen to share your knowledge you don't understand that's not what was asked for.

The following are ALL from OV's original post in this thread:

Whatever it is I have been doing wrong I want to know.

If the conversation is going no where what do I do? what do I say? and how do I say it?

Just maybe this thread will be helpful to all the people making threads along the lines of "I like a girl but how do I approach her, what do I do, and what and how do I say it?"

Is there anything I can actually say to this girl when I see her tomorrow to regain my interest and maybe get things moving?

I know everyone has some kind of experience or idea to add, so you better tell it and add it or burn in hell for all eternity haha.

Sounds to me like he's asking for specific examples.

I don't think you need to generate pages on this, GS (please, God no), just pick a few examples that explain some general principles & might give him some ideas about the questions he asked. Like what Mish did, that was a good one.

[Mish]

Like what Mish did, that was a good one.

...........................................

[IndiReloaded]

Honestly.. the reason I strongly advocate Inner game is because when OV, but not just OV, anyone for that matter.. crushes those limiting beliefs they have about themselves, those misconceptions, or anything that's holding them back.. well, then they're simply not held back anymore..

In OV, I could see a situation where i'd break down kino to a science for him.. and i'm sure Sphinx would do the same.. but something inside OV would either prevent him from using it, or would have him hesitate and use it after that open window.. or worse! he might just use it dogmatically when the vibe isn't right at all..

But again, GS, you are playing psychologist here & that's not what was asked for. Why not let him experiment w/a few techniques & he can ASK if he wants the deeper explanation. You're not giving him credit for being able to work this out himself. Afterall, its HIS experience, right?

To be honest with you.. I used to be a total push-over nice guy.. and it wasn't until DeAngelo stressed the importance of Inner game that I changed.. But my realization didn't take place with women.. it took place in the NYC subway system.. NYC was a playgroud to break out of nice-guy-overly-polite-push-over mode.. People would walk on the sidewalk and try and walk on the right side (where i'd have to walk by).. but instead of move out of the way (something I used to do before).. I would stand there, look them in the eye as if to tell them "you're going to have to move, because i'm not moving, you have your side of the sidewalk, this one is mine".. And you know what? I was blown away, but EVERYONE would move.. there were some spiteful people which found it hard on their ego.. but instead of not moving, they would just try and brush arms or bump shoulders while walking past me.. On the subway.. (I would have to push through and excuse myself amung the masses).. but now I would just walk strait down.. Looking at everyone in the eye, then the floor, as if to tell them to move.. to imply it would be rude/uncivilized of them if they didn't.. and in a non-comfrontational manner, they all moved aside.. Something so little, so small, so simple.. was actually life changing..

In college, law school, work, and even with friends.. everyone looked towards me when they needed someone assertive.. friends walked behind me as I paved the way for them through the masses of NYC.. co-workers looked to me as a means to get some change around the office.. in college and law school.. other students looked towards me for leadership (something I actually never had in HS).. and the very last thing that followed from all of that.. was this attitude and mentality that women picked up on like fish formula.. (which means they also pick up on the wrong mentality like 7 month old garbage)

That's what I learned.. and that's mostly what a lot of guys learned.. everyone had their own story, their own history, their own experience.. but in the end, the issue was very similar.. From a young age, we did the mistake of associating "good & nice" with "weak, submissive, reserved, quiet".. maybe because of religion, or parenting, or harsh schooling, or simply not wanting to be like those guys we considered "jerks" who were anything BUT "weak, submissive, reserved, quiet"..

And as I realized that.. I noticed that this alone (inner game) was the entire game.. all other tactics/strategy/games were dwarfed in the face of inner game.. this was powerful.. because it was genuine.. because it was complete and total self-awareness.. from that came confidence (real confidence).. came assertiveness, a powerful pressence that radiated like an aura everyone could pick up on.. and microcal (microcalibration) where people became easy to read & understand.. AFTER that point, were games/tactics/strategy of any use.. because before that, I would have simply come off like a bad actor saying lines from a script he was reading for the first time.. but after that.. you're just a guy who's fully aware of the world around him.. the people around him.. the thoughts they're thinking.. the motives they have.. and they all seem like clay.. waiting to be molded.. and the "tactics" you learn from that point.. are much like your "tools" to mold these balls of clay into anything you want.. (that's IF you want to mold them).. but notice that even if you don't have these tactics at your disposal.. you still see the world in such a way.. and honestly.. that ALONE.. can give you the results you're looking for..

This sounds like you had a wonderful epiphany, GS. That's terrific & I'm glad for you. Obviously this method taught you something valuable & you want to share that w/others. That's admirable. But consider that not everyone wants, nor needs, to immerse themselves in all this theory. Esp if that's not what they asked for. One doesn't need to understand the mechanism of aspirin to know it stops a headache.

You can't force someone to be interested in all this 'self actualization'. Its great that you've evolved. But you first needed to be convinced that the methods were actually worth thinking about right? I doubt you took someone else's word for it. So. Everything in its time, GS.

Anyway, I seem to have become OVs 'thread police' on this, so I'll finish here.

[Junket]

Self-government means less work for me!

[vashti]

Explaining the mechanism of the aspirin would require less space than one of scorps posts.

[IndiReloaded]

Explaining the mechanism of the aspirin would require less space than one of scorps posts.

True. But I'm starting to believe that he means well.

Ah, hell OV. If you can't find a nice girl, move to Vancouver & become my poolboy. You can work in hubby's lab, hit on all the hot girls in there (he's got a truckload of them) & be a happy little camper. BlueSum knows lots of folk & I manage a dept with over 100 women all around age 20 - 30, many of them single. We'll make you forget Ms. Whatshername.

[misombra]

damn if i was ov i would jump on that offer.

[DoesntMatter]

You can work in hubby's lab, hit on all the hot girls in there (he's got a truckload of them) & be a happy little camper.

What does your husband do? Was he the chemist? What type of chemistry is he into?

[GrkScorp]

Anyway, I seem to have become OVs 'thread police' on this, so I'll finish here.

Well.. whatever makes you happy Indi..

But actually.. I told OV to create this forum and title it Inner Game.. and that this forum would be used to improve him internally.. INTERNALLY!

I was going to give him what Jeffries gave DeAngelo.. and what he gave thousands of other guys, including me.. And HE made it clear to me that HE wanted that.. the second he created this thread.. because that's what this thread was about..

Did he have OTHER questions which he took the time to ask during this thread? YES.. but I also made it clear that these were small distractions that we would take care of later.. when time was of the essence, I answered the questions he had.. but the mutual goal from the start was Inner Game..

Then it was YOU who came along.. playing the role of "thead police" as you pointed out (i'm proud of you).. even though it sounds more like OV's mommy.. but he doesn't need a mommy.. he's a big boy now.. it HE has something to say.. i'm sure he can say if for himself.. he doesn't need anyone else to say it..

So you see.. it's YOU.. that's created an issue.. everyone else just PM-ed if they wanted tactics.. for what books they should read.. for what they should do.. etc.. OV created a thread because HE wanted INNER change.. and in this same thread, simply took the opportunity to ask a million other questions which would have led us all over the place.. but the very creation and point of an Inner Game thread.. is.. well.. Inner Game..

Now Indi, why don't we stop this back and forth pitter patter.. Honestly, tell me what you REALLY want, and we'll work it out.. If you prefer to PM, you can do so.. But I like comming online and helping people improve their lives, get over any problems, and just having a good time.. That's the beauty of the LF community.. so i'm all ears for any suggestions you have so we can keep it that way..

[TheSphinx]

You can work in hubby's lab, hit on all the hot girls in there (he's got a truckload of them)...

What type of chemistry is he into?

Sounds to me like chemistry of the sexual variety.

~Sphinx

[GrkScorp]

Sounds to me like chemistry of the sexual variety.

OMG! now that you said that.. I saw this movie once when I was younger, about some freak science project where these two guys put some ooze on the pages of magazines, and the women came to life.. but they had to be kissed or else they'd turn back to ooze..

And there was this other one where they created the perfect girl via a computer and brought her to life.. Really old movies.. I think 80's films..

I loved those films.. I forgot the titles of them though..

[TheSphinx]

I think Weird Science was the popular film following the above plot line.

~Sphinx

[miSSleepy]

True. But I'm starting to believe that he means well.

Ughh, whether he means well or not has little to do with it. He's been brainwashed by literature and theory, his posts are probably filled with plaigiarism. I just spend almost 3 hours reading this damn thread and my head hurts.

It's not so much a game as a COURTING PROCESS. Yes there are things to do and say that will attract interest and make you seem valuable, but being an arrogant prick will only work (maybe) in the short-run. Eventually, if you're an insecure guy using GS's methods, you're true nature will come through.

For f***cks sake then - why not work at improving yourself internally instead of manipulating people and situations???