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Thread: Best way to let a girl know I'm interested? Without being annoying.

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    Best way to let a girl know I'm interested? Without being annoying.

    Here's the story. There is this girl I like at work. We don't work on the same floor or department but there has been a few times that we have worked on a few projects with each other. During the times that we've worked together I have grown a liking to her. I also think that during the times we have worked together, she has given me some signs that she might be interested in me as well, though I didn't realize until later. A few of the signs that I think she has given me has been has been tell me how I'm funny, smiling a lot, and extending our conversations longer just to name a few.

    What I want to know is, what would be best way for me to let her know that I'm interested in her? I'm kind of afraid of just asking her out right away because if she isn't interested in me, then it might go sour in our work relationship. So I want to know what subtle ways there are to let her know I'm interested in her. Do I call her just to chat once and a while? Do I ask her to get some coffee? What ways do I let her know I'm interested without making me too obnoxious or annoying to her. Once I know more that she is in fact interested, that is when I'll ask her out. Let me know what your thoughts are. Thanks!
    Last edited by UniBu; 07-03-08 at 02:13 AM. Reason: Add more

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    Pop your head in to her office and tell her you're going to grab a coffee and ask if you can bring her one too. That's a tiny little baby step. Next time, ask her to come along. Take it slow.

    But then, I have to warn you: Dating people you work with is really risky. I wouldn't do it if I were you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniBu View Post
    I'm kind of afraid of just asking her out right away because if she isn't interested in me..
    I want you to rent two movies.. The Perfect Stranger, and The World is not Enough (007-James Bond)

    I want you to notice Bruce Willis asking out the female protagonist in the Perfect Stranger.. and James Bond seducing the doctor/nurse to give him medical clearance in The World is not Enough..

    Rewind and play these clips over and over again.. I want you to study them very closely.. Go beyond their surface value.. think.. if you were a woman.. why would this type of behavior be sexy? What can you say about the subcomminication that's going on in both of these clips?

    I'll give you some hints..

    - These guys, are not used to "no" answers or giving up at signs of token resistance..
    - These guys are used to "yes" answers, and getting what they want..
    - They expect a certain reaction and outcome from women, this is the "norm" for them..

    Now, what is the deeper level of subcommunication in that?

    - These guys have experience with other women..
    - Other women are attracted to and love these guys.. and these guys know it, it's a "norm" for them, and a part of their reality..

    Deeper level of subcommunication still?

    - These are high quality guys.. and they're fully aware of it

    This is a vibe you send out.. and in acting it's called.. "no sense of doubt".. in life, it's called "confidence".. but not "fake" confidence.. this is true confidence..

    Here are a list of actors that have taken the time to study methods to project "no sense of doubt":

    - Pierce Brosnan
    - Bruce Willis
    - Brad Pitt
    - Matthew McConaughey
    - Paul Walker
    - Chad Michael Murray
    - Channing Tatum
    - George Clooney
    - Jensen Ackles
    - Patrick Dempsey
    - Hugh Jackman
    - Matt Damon
    - Michael Vartan
    - Mark Wahlberg
    - Antonio Banderas
    - Gabriel Garko
    - Dino Morea

    Looks are one thing, but there are better looking actors in the industry, and there are even male models.. the true sex appeal is in the "delivery".. it's something about how the voice quality, speech, facial expression, eyes, body-language, and posture all work together to create that "no sense of doubt" effect.. complete confidence, complete self-awareness and certainty in the outcome..

    When you lose your sense of doubt, when you dispel your irrational fears and limiting beliefs that are holding you back for no logical or legitimate reason.. when you do all that.. you'll notice how different your delivery is.. and as you notice that difference in your delivery.. you'll start to see how differently the world around you, reacts..

    I saw this in NYC, as I walked through the subway system and on the busy sidewalks of Manhattan.. keeping my frame strong, certain that the person walking towards me would move out of the way and yield.. and in doing so, there was no thought in my mind of ME ever being the one to yield.. and there was no doubt of the person comming towards me yielding.. and guess what.. they always moved out of the way, when our eyes met, something about my inner frame and thought process communicated the message (non-verbally) that I wasn't going to move, and I KNEW they were going to move, as if it was given, as if there was no question about it, that this was the norm, the reality..., that they had to accept, that they all accepted.. and moved..

    With people in general, but let's keep the conversation towards women.. this still applies.. people FEEL what you're thinking.. all of that is communicated not just by words, but mostly by everything else! And when women FEEL, (not think) that "this is a guy who clearly doesn't have much success with women, he is used to getting "no" for an answer, that is the norm for him, that is his reality".. then guess what.. you're going to get a "no".. But when they FEEL, (not think) that "this is a guy who clearly has success with women, he's used to getting "yes" for an answer, that is the norm for him, that is his reality".. then guess what.. you're going to get a "yes".. In whatever it is that you want to make a reasonable transition to.. Her number, getting together after work.. kissing.. "etc"..

    Think of it like "going with the flow".. riding this wave of emotions.. because there is no thinking.. there's just doing.. there is no logic when it comes to these things.. there's just emotions and feelings.. and you supply the wave.. and if that wave is weak.. she's not going to ride it.. but if that wave is strong.. and sucks her in.. she almost has no choice in the matter but to ride it.. and go with the flow.. what seems normal, and natural.. And as your delivery gets better, and your inner frame gets stronger.. you'll notice your outer frame getting stronger almost automatically and naturally.. and you'll start to notice how you get a completely different reaction from people.. the reaction you expect.. the reaction you don't doubt you're going to get..

    With all that said.. it really doesn't matter what you say.. just how you say it.. how you deliver it.. You can litterally walk next to her and say.. "Hey, are you busy right now? Good, come with me.. i'm going to get some coffee" and it might sound crazy, but she'll get off her seat and go with you.. because your delivery is so strong.. like you don't have any sense of doubt that her reaction would be exactly that.. and nothing less.. If your delivery is weak, then it's not so out-of-the-ordinary for someone like her to say "no" to you.. Think about it.. Rent those movies.. notice some things that we talked about.. and then re-post..

    Best,

    GrkScorp
    Last edited by GrkScorp; 07-03-08 at 03:57 AM.
    If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GrkScorp View Post
    This is a vibe you send out.. and in acting it's called.. "no sense of doubt".. in life, it's called "confidence".. but not "fake" confidence.. this is true confidence..
    Actually, over-analyzing everything is a lack of confidence. I doubt these actors think about any of this shit when they approach women. The only thing on their mind is "If she says no, **** her...her loss". They have money, looks, fame, and success to fuel their ego and confidence. No offense of course. Would George Clooney get the girls like he does if George Clooney was not George Clooney? Sometimes it is more simple as that, if you have crooked teeth god help you.
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    Off topic a bit: Matthew McConaughey is gross and icky. I'll bet he smells like dirty underwear.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    Off topic a bit: Matthew McConaughey is gross and icky. I'll bet he smells like dirty underwear.
    seriously? I think he's sorta hot. "How to lose a guy in 10 days" is one of my all time fav movie.

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    It wouldn't take me 10 days to lose that hippy.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins View Post
    Actually, over-analyzing everything is a lack of confidence. I doubt these actors think about any of this shit when they approach women. The only thing on their mind is "If she says no, **** her...her loss". They have money, looks, fame, and success to fuel their ego and confidence. No offense of course. Would George Clooney get the girls like he does if George Clooney was not George Clooney? Sometimes it is more simple as that, if you have crooked teeth god help you.


    I'll say this much.. if George Clooney and Joe Shmoe went out.. George Clooney would have more success.. now.. if Donald Trump and George Clooney went out, who would have more success? Honestly.. who do you think?

    My money is on Clooney..

    forget fame, money, and all of that..

    If Trump didn't have money, he would be single.. it's a fact of life.. and that's because, he can't approach a woman.. He can now, because he has a nice implicit opener.. "Hi, i'm worth millions of dollars that can be yours.. what's YOUR name?"

    Now, take away Clooney's fame and money.. let's just say he's some ordinary guy.. he looks the same, and he's still a wanna-be-actor/waiter.. He can still talk to women, and hold a conversation, and hold someone's attention.. but more importantly.. he knows that if he touches you.. you won't resist.. that if he asks for your number.. you won't say no.. that if he goes to kiss you.. you'll melt before your lips even meet.. and it's that power.. that makes him so appealing.. believe me.. If money & fame would make THAT much of a difference, Bill Gates would be on the cover of Playgirl..

    I'm not saying you should stop aiming for money.. because that's important.. and there's a gold-digger switch in many women out there.. if they want to admit it or not is a seperate issue.. but it's there.. and you can feel it going off.. you can hear it going off.. you can see it going off.. It goes something like this.. "REEEEAAALLYYY?".. and it's not bad.. it's normal.. that's fine.. we get it.. it's only bad if that's the ONLY thing that makes them go crazy and interested in you..

    But..., as far as personal power and delivery go.. you can make a lot of things happen in life, in your favor, just by working on your personal power.. and more so with women.. you can sweep them off their feet if they can feel it, that inside of you, that you KNOW you can, and you KNOW you have what it takes to catch them, and carry them along, and take them for the ride of their life.. that's powerful.. and they'll surrender..., completely.. to that power..
    If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.

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