How do i win her trust back

[guitarboy]

I am in a bit of fix here...
i lied to my girlfriend but i confessed to it before she heard from somewhere else but know despite of my confession she is angry at me.

She however says that she will continue talking to me but i miss the kind of talk we had earlier now it has become more formal than anything else and she says that will remain as long as for ever so that i get the pinch and learn my lesson.

She says i need not call her but she will call me when she feels right and not to stalk her ( and i don't do that ).i presumed that as i told the truth she would appreciate it and forgive me but it went the other way around.

i have been texting ,calling her up but she doesnt reply nicely.i fear that i am acting like a puppy dog and getting overboard.

please help me out as how can i win her back....i really love her.

[Gigabitch]

She says i need not call her but she will call me when she feels right and not to stalk her

Actually, that's total bullshit. If you didn't call her frantically, she'd lose face with her friends and punish you terribly.

Girls are mental. Take it from me. Most of the time, they don't even know exactly what they want. They just surf this big emotional wave as far as they can.

What I suggest you do is this: man up. Right now. You've put on a good show with the texting and all, you're appropriately contrite, but if this continues for one more minute she's going to start thinking you're a big pussy.

Call her and insist upon seeing her because you have something to say. See her alone and see her soon. Tell her that you're not interested in being punished for doing the right thing by confessing. Don't lose the only edge you have by saying "before she heard it from someone else". No, no, no. You need to present this in such a way that she can actually believe that you deserve to win her trust back. Tell her that lying to her made you sick. Tell her you never want to feel that way again, and that you've learned something through all of this.

Then tell her that the way she's treating you is sending your relationship into a tailspin and that you want to make things right, but that it's becoming clear that she's not interested in that. Point out that she wants to fight rather than forgive.

Push the conversation as far away from the lying as you can. Make it about the fact that she's clearly enjoying punishing you more than she enjoyed dating you in the first place.

Basically, make her feel like a vindictive bitch.

Then go home. Tell her you'll either make up or break up tomorrow and that the both of you will decide what's to be. Do NOT go crawling up to her like a dog who peed on the rug. You don't want to be that guy and believe me, nobody wants to date that guy.

So go get your balls back, man.

[Junket]

Lied about what?

[Tommy]

PIIHB

I know it doesn't help here, but it's fun... HaHa

[guitarboy]

I tried to do that over the fone but she says that lessons need to be learnt so that people don't repeat them.

i haven't called her up since a day and neither has she.i guess i will speak to her directly but what to do when she even refuses to accept my apology and still has the same mindset of punishing me for my deeds ?

[GrkScorp]

Actually, that's total bullshit. If you didn't call her frantically, she'd lose face with her friends and punish you terribly.

I'm very interested in finding out what exactly you mean by this.. I can't quite follow the lingo.. the word "face" is throwing me off.. I use it for something totally different..

[GrkScorp]

she says that lessons need to be learnt so that people don't repeat them.

Let me tell you what I say..

I say.. yes, it's tough news to take in.. but she's being insensitive and immature to the fact that you could have lied to her, or kept it hidden from her, but instead you told her.. tell her that.. and then tell her.. "think about that.. shut up for a second.. and just think about that.. and as you're thinking about that.. now, just imagine.. that I already realized the mistake, I already punished myself much worse than you could ever imagine trying to punish me, you couldn't even come close to punishing me the way i've already punished myself.. and when I was done.. I told you.. I know it doesn't magically make it better.. and I know it's hard to hear about something like that.. but what I also know.. is that all you're doing, is not punishing me.. because i've already punished myself.. no.. all you're doing.. is just giving me reason to never tell you this thing again in the future.. you're giving me reason to lie to you.. because if you think you're giving me reason to not do this in the first place.. then you haven't been listening.. i've given myself reason to not do it again.. i've punished myself.. more than enough.. so much so.. that i'm numb to whatever you're doing.. so.. when you finally realize that.. when it finally hits you.. and you stop being a little immature girl about it.. call me.. because right now.. we're over.. and not because of me.. but because of you.. bye"

WHAT!?!??

Yeah.. trust me on this one.. just walk out.. or hang up.. there's no need to wait for a reaction or a response.. you're just saying what you need to say, and allowing it to sink in..

Do you know why this works? Do you know why she'll come running after you, give up her whole act & drama? Because what you're saying, is the reality of the situation, and she knows it.. And you're throwing it in her face, clearly, openly, where she can't deny it to herself, where she has no bullsh*t to hide behind.. but you're not waiting for her to quickly come up with one of her female excuses/rationalizations/justifications.. no.. you're saying what you have to.. how it really is.. and just walking out.. you're letting her know that you're not going to put up with her sh*t.. so when she's done being the little immature drama-wh0re girl that she is.. she can give you a call, and maybe you'll still pick up.. "bye"

[loveyoualways12]

you guys act like the girl did something wrong. She did nothing wrong at all.

And you all say he did the right thing by coming out and saying he lied..

BUT.. he still lied.
he still ****ed up and now because he felt bad about she should just be normal about everything again??

honestly.. give her space..

she knows not everyone is perfect and people make mistakes but just give her space and let her think a little bit..

[IndiReloaded]

you guys act like the girl did something wrong. She did nothing wrong at all.

And you all say he did the right thing by coming out and saying he lied..

BUT.. he still lied.
he still ****ed up and now because he felt bad about she should just be normal about everything again??

Noone is saying that lying is okay. But assuming he didn't lie about cheating on her, or killing someone, her response is out of proportion. All Giga is saying is that someone owning up to making a mistake (esp since he fessed up) doesn't mean you get carte blanche to dump all over them.

Assuming its relatively trivial, let the punishment fit the crime.

[1averagejoe]

Well her reaction is justified by what he lied about. I really wouldn't give advice until we know what this lie really is. For all we know he cheated on her. Hell I think her response would be completely justified if he did.

[Sweeney]

I wouldn't like my boyfriend lying to me on purpose either... But if it was something minor, I'd tell him not to lie to me and get over it... So I'm pretty curious what lie she is upset about?!