relationship advice

[hartbroken]

Hello, my name is Heather. I just registered with this site because I could really use some advice.I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. I met him at my last job at the end of 2006. the following year, we decided to be a couple. we decided to be a couple the day before he left for the navy bootcamp. at the time, i just got out of a relationship with my best friend of 15 years. while my current boyfriend was away, i cheated on him with my best friend. my boyfriend came back on sick leave a month later and i explained to him what happened. we broke up,but a month later, we started all over. we had our ups and downs and fights,but everything got better. the only problem is that he would get mad at me for stupid things and not talk to me for a week at a time. i would run after him and go to his house looking for him.which he hates by the way.has been doing this to me since last summer.well last week, i got mad at him because he hung up on me.two days later my friend tells me he is at the cofee shop.a place that he goes to all of the time.i went over there and confronted him.he was talking to two girls that were supossably his friends.he told me that he is sick of this.that i always get hurt.everything is always about me.he doesnt know if he loves me anymore.he broke up with me and i havent heard from him since.so guys, what does this mean?does he not care anymore?

Sincerely,
Heather

[bluesummer]

I can see a few things wrong here.

First of all, you cheated on him. I realize he forgave you and you got back together, but let me tell you a little something about the after effects of cheating: the person you cheated on may forgive, but they don't ever forget. You've breached his trust. That incident is going to be in the back of his mind forever, and will rear it's ugly head once in awhile. It can, and usually does, ruin a relationship over time.

Secondly, there is nothing productive about chasing after him and confronting him after you've had a fight. You need to give him his space and allow him to cool off. There's a reason why the word 'confrontation' has negative connotations attached to it. You are cornering him, and it puts him in defense mode, and will likely only make him more angry.

From the sounds of things, this isn't a very healthy relationship overall. If he's broken up with you and you've not heard from him since, I would safely say it's over. Don't pursue it.

[hartbroken]

hey,i just realized that someone posted on my post.well thank you for your advice!i appreciate it!

[Gigabitch]

Oh, God, Heather. Please explain to me why you are still even thinking about this guy? You are a terrible couple, you treat each other like crap, and it's a good thing that he broke up with you.

Take it for the gift it is and be happy about it.

[Tomzzz]

Hi, Heather. Bluesummer and Gigabitch both have made some good points. You're probably both good people, but the chemistry doesn't seem to be there. Sure, you made a mistake and he probably has, too but life goes on. Just try to end up wiser after your bad experiences and remember that if you and this particular guy are meant to be together, it will happen. But if you try too hard to force it, it will only mean more misery.

[hartbroken]

hey,i just read your advice!thank you so much.my friend keeps telling me the same thing.that if its meant to be, it will happen.i havent given up completely on him,there is still some feelings left.but i really appreciate your advice.it makes more sense than the other advice ive been recieving.thank you!!!

heather

[GerryPelosi]

i think that One of the critical issues in the success of any relationship is friendship
if you really love that guy then tell her because time doesn't wait any one,if you are loose that guy then all life you are........if u wait for it she will never come so tell her
ALL THE BEST