post-concussion and break up with boyfriend.

[vikichck]

know this is really really long but PLEASE HELP! I"m so confused especially cuz I'm post-concussion.

I was in a long distance relationship with a guy that lived 6 hrs away in grad school. I have learned to be okay with being second priority cuz he was so focused on school and paying a ton of money for it for psychology.

2 weeks ago I got hit by a car as I was crossing a street. A friend was there to help me. I went to the ER to trauma unit cuz I was unconscious and needed 2 staples in my head. Everyone told my boyfriend I was okay so he thought he didn't need to come to see me. Even I told him I was okay cuz I knew how important school was to him and he was studying for midterms.

So 5 days after I was able to think a bit more I broke up with him. I was sooo pissed that he didn't feel like seeing me after he heard " she was hit by an SUV". I felt like it didn't matter if someone said i was okay.. he should have came and it could have been only for a day. At least for a day, and he could have cuz it happened on a weekend. He did send his parents to help me if I needed anything and they came by twice. So now he knows NOTHING about how I felt and what I was going thru. I"m still feeling crappy. I can't organize my thoughts very well. I'm thinking maybe I broke up with him cuz i was feeling really irritated from the concussion. I just wish he was a part of it somehow.. I felt soo alone. It doesn't help that my only family here is my sister. Everyone else is over seas. So I really needed him.

So I think it was mostly the long distance relationships fault cuz we had completely separate lives and had to be independent of eachother. So when everyone said I was okay.. he left it at that. We are so use to not being able to see eachother and not being able to depend on eachother. So I can understand his side of the story even tho I still get mad about it.

So a few days later I sent him a text "this seems like a mistake, I don't know what i'm doing half the time, we should meet in person". He was shocked I was willing to still work things out and said he had to think about it and that he will call in a few days. I'm thinking he had to go on vacation, cuz it's his spring break. SO now, i don't know if i should be mad at him for going on a vacation and not calling until he gets back. My thoughts get so confusing!

PLEASE someone explain to me if i'm just being a retard from concussion or if my feelings are legitimate. HELP!

[bluesummer]

First of all, FYI, please don't post the same thread more than once. It tends to anger the regulars.

Secondly, YOU TOLD HIM NOT TO COME. Your friends told him you were okay. Come on, men don't read any deeper than what you tell them. If you tell a man you are fine, he's going to assume you're fine. Was this supposed to be some sort of test? I mean, he DID send his parents to see you right?

I don't quite understand, it seems sort of like you were asking him to to read between the lines, and you're mad because he didn't.

[1averagejoe]

I agree with bluesummer. You specifically told him it was ok and that he didn't have to come. Keep in mind us guys take everything you say literally. If you say that you don't need something, we'll listen to what you said. Don't expect him to do something that you told him not to do. Plus just because he didn't go doesn't mean he wasn't worried. He sent his parents to go check on you. You also said he was busy with studying.

I don't know if it's because you were loaded up on meds and not thinking straight, but you kinda screwed up here. If you really want him back, I'd be on the phone apologizing for the things I said and say you weren't thinking straight that you missed him and felt lonely.

[Junket]

You are being retarded and your feelings are not legitimate.

And if you're wondering where your other 3 duplicate threads are, I deleted them.

You're one big ball of irrationality, aren't you?

[asinglelovenote]

no need to be so tough here...

[Gigabitch]

Well, I'm going to go against the grain here and say you have some valid points. Yes, you told him it was okay for him not to come, and it's perfectly understandable that he didn't. Not romantic, not emotionally sensitive, but understandable.

The problem is the fact that he is now on spring break, not studying for school, and can't even have a phone conversation about this with you. Did you not have plans to see each other during spring break before you broke up with him? Do you think he made a last-minute vacation plan or something?

It was sweet that he sent his parents over to see you, but he should be more understanding that you might have made a bad decision in breaking up with him (you've sustained a head injury, for chrissakes) and it sounds like he doesn't even want to hear it. I think if he were interested in you at all he'd at least hear you out.