What do I do, this is killing me!?!

[wmcc]

I apologize for the length before hand,

I am going to be 16 years old in June. Last June, I met a girl and we became fast friends. She however, is a senior at my high school, but is one of the younger people in her grade. We met and talked with my friends who she was with when I first saw her. It was love at first site, on my part at least. She loved my personality and here begins a long, wrenching story for me.

The next night, the night of the Sopranos finale, she initiated an AIM conversation with me which last from 7 to 1:30 in the morning. We talked about everything. Serious stuff, goofy stuff. She suggested we run into the city and see a screening of Annie Hall, our favorite movie, on her own initiative. I couldn't do to an illness in my family, and she totally understood and we moved on. I saw her a couple of days later, but we ran into friends and I didn't get a real one on one conversation with her. I learned a lot about her that summer and we talked a lot.

The summer passed, she wasn't home at all, and I was dealing with the lung cancer of my Grandmother and working a full time job. I still had strong feelings for her, and we talked via text message and phone and I told her I was at the beach where my grandma lives and she loves the beach, etc, etc.

When school began again, I became much more involved in her social group. I started always being with her friends, who became my friends. The girls of the group decided to make me Peter Pan while they were the lost boys for a big costume party.

The girl I am in love with was really really drunk, and according to her friends, guys too, said they've never seen her 'put out' so much to one person before. She'd sit on my lap, kiss me on the cheek, tell me she loved me. When I had to go home, she hugged me and wouldn't let go, and said
"You can't leave, you have to stay". It was my moment to kiss her, but I didn't, considering the circumstances.

We went to a concert together with some friends. We went to coffee together.

Just last night we took subway cars through all of manhattan on an adventure to a friend's concert and it just reaffirmed my love for her. I know her very very well, I have to tell her.


I was planning to take her to Battery Park, in Lower Manhattan, where I grew up. It is beautiful, and we could sit out on the Esplanade. It is a waterfront boardwalk area with nice benches and things. I was going to go on a nice spring day and just say it during an appropriate moment. "I love you, _____"

She often tells me "You're the best", "I Love You" "If I could, I'd stay with you all the time".

PROBLEM IS: she is going to be graduating in June, and there is a toss up between moving west and staying in the new york city area, where we live. She wants to stay here if she gets in here. I hope she does. 5 miles away.

What do you think is going on here. Is she waiting for me to make the move. HOW DO I MAKE THE MOVE?

People, I'm desperate. I know I'm just a teenager. But I care about this girl so much, and I really do love her. Help me put this issue to rest.

[anachronistic]

For starters, you're pretty young, but a young man you are. You need to begin to understand the concept of love, in that, you don't just love someone the instant you see them... well, we call that puppy love here; but anyway, it takes years to get to that stage of love.

Anyhow, I was in a similar situation with a girl, except I was the senior at the time. I can tell you now, just date her and have fun until the summer is over. Don't commit to a relationship with her while she is at college and you are still in high school, I know you don't want to hear that, but it's for the best. Honestly. Things [rarely] ever work out that way. That's just how it goes. Distance tears relationships apart, not just intimate relationships, but all kinds of relationships.

I'd recommend that you ask her out. And then if she accepts, maybe a month later, when it's getting closer to the beginning of Fall semester, bring up the suggestion.

[Tommy]

For being so young, I truly appreciate your level of writing and punctuation. Bravo, to your education.

On a second note, there is no time like the present. If you never take the risk, you will never know.

Maybe the next time she says it to you, say it back but look in her eyes when you say it. If she laughs, tell her you really do care for her. I'd give it a shot.

[wmcc]

For being so young, I truly appreciate your level of writing and punctuation. Bravo, to your education.

On a second note, there is no time like the present. If you never take the risk, you will never know.

Maybe the next time she says it to you, say it back but look in her eyes when you say it. If she laughs, tell her you really do care for her. I'd give it a shot.

Thank you for your compliments on my writing. Aside from that, you displayed some of the confident "Go for it" attitude I was hoping for. I'm going to go for it, with all the body language tricks and just find the right time to say something.

[littlewing]

I'd agree with lilwing, distances really do tear relationships apart. If you really like her then spend the summer with her and you don't have to tell her that you love her yet, there are words in between like "I care about you" or "I feel really great when I'm with you". You should really make the move when you know better how things would go on.

I really wish we were living in a world where you can follow your heart, live for the moment and drown in passion and love. But this is a rough world, more than anywhere you can see it in this forum...

Love hurts man... I wish you to not get too hurt

[vashti]

Seize the day! She may not want to get into an actual reationship with you because of college, but who says you can't enjoy her company until she goes away?

BTW - I strongly disapprove of the long distance stuff with college students. be FULLY prepared to walk away next fall.

[lesa]

Long distance relationships can tear a casual or young relationship but it can strengthen the serious relationship. It really tests you and your commitment. You concentrate more on intimacy and less on the physical which can be distracting.