You see someone you like, how do you go for it, it may be the last time you see them.

[frustrated_love]

OK, you in a shop or where ever and you see someone that is attractive or whatever.

How you you approach them? Or do you let them slip away and never see them again - chance gone.

In the past it has always depended on the mood I am in whether I have had the bottle or not. But I tend to think hey - worst they can say is no. Which quite often they do. It may be because I shocked them and they weren't expecting it? it may be just that they think I am totally rank?

when I have gone up to them in past I have basically said something like "excuse me, sorry but I know this may sound quite forward but I have seen you and wondered if I could possibly take you for a drink or something sometime?". something along those lines anyway. Mostly they just said sorry, got a boyfriend. Which sometimes may be true, others just makeing me feel better.


Just wondered what your methods have been, and how successful they are.

[GrkScorp]

"excuse me, sorry but I know this may sound quite forward but I have seen you and wondered if I could possibly take you for a drink or something sometime?"

Why not just get more to the point?

"I really like you.., even though I don't know the first thing about you.., and felt I should tell you.., and hope that through my attraction for your physical beauty alone.., coupled with the vague invitation to "something" at "sometime".., you will agree to go out with a total stranger off the street like me.. what do you say?"

(The funny thing is.., that might actually work better because someone might actually take it to be a joke)

I must give you credit for the balls you have to walk around to people and say that though.., that's something that few people would appreciate.., but aside from that.., I hope that after reading a couple of things here.., you start to see for yourself.., why this approach of yours yields the results that it has in the past..

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/21696-not-sure-what-do-all.html[/url] (Male-Female-Model)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/21716-i-tried-talking-one-girl-math-class-2.html[/url] (B*tch-shields)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/21640-why-awkward-talk-some-girls.html#post330139[/url] (Opening Theory)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/21226-girl-work.html#post325723[/url] (More Opening)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/21530-testing-kind-girl.html[/url] (Tests)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/21382-i-really-need-some-help.html#post326386[/url] (Testing Models)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/introduce-yourself/21336-hi-everyone-2.html[/url] (Sh*t Tests & Frames)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/21649-how-make-girl-like-me.html#post330318[/url] (Eliciting Values)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/21233-what-say-after-she-says-i-have-boyfriend.html[/url] (Boyfriends)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/21351-will-you-entertain-him.html#post326026[/url] (The only Numbers game in dating)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/21603-woman-likes-date-jerks.html#post329448[/url] (Jerks)

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/21617-why-do-guys-play-games.html[/url] (Morals & Ethics of Games)

Best,

GrkScorp

[bohemiandonut]

Great topic. I like the idea of making an opener or whatever seem like a joke. I think it would take some practice to get the tone right though. Often I can do the test runs no problem, but when I actually care about the results (i.e. the girl has a cute butt) I get nervous and I'm sure it shows.

[GrkScorp]

(i.e. the girl has a cute butt)

Butts.., my only weakness.., it's amazing I don't have an anal fettish though.. but there's just something so aesthetically pleasing about a finely toned butt.. anyway..

Being nervous is a problem.., let's not kid ourselves.., but Goose was asking me why I don't get nervous when I go over and talk to a 9 or 10.., and the simple reason is.., (there's no reason to get nervous.., more on that below)

First of all.., this is why "one-itis" will murder any chances you have.., you can get one-itis an other time.., after you open.., after she likes you.., after you've been dating for a while.., at that point.., maybe you want to make it formally known that the two of you are exclusive.., but before that point.., when you don't really know her that well.., one-itis will destroy any hope you have.., you should take a step back.. and get over it first.. before you move any further.., if you can't.., then give it a shot.., but prepare to crash and burn..

Now.., in general.., I like to think of romantic interactions (opening, dating, etc) as business interactions.., you're both bringing something to the table.., and before any of you open your mouth.., just externally.., you have very limited information about the other person (her).., but perfect information about yourself (you).. You can see the Economics of all of this just dying to come out.. Based then.., on external information alone.., all you can tell about (her) is that she has looks to offer.. and all that accounts for is the "possibility" that she can sexually satisfy you.. that's it.. nothing more than that for you to work with.. that's the only thing you can determine based on the information you have available..

Well then.., what about (you)? You have your whole life to know and be aware of who you are.. and what value you have to offer others.., and based on this perfect information about yourself.., you know exactly what you have to bring to the table.., information she is not yet aware of.. information that is not yet available to her.. (This is why Inner Game is so important and vital).. You are pretty certain about your looks and the way you dress.., and that is information she has available to her.., she can be the judge of that.., but what she can't be the judge of.. is what else lurks within.., You know for yourself.., that besides your looks & style.., you are the holy grail of sexual pleasure.., a library of interesting information and facts.., and endless supply of fun.., a powerhouse of humor.., a brilliant conversationalist.., a classy gentleman for the woman who wins her way to your heart.., but above all else.., a strong.., powerful.., secure.., protective (both financial & physical).., man.. who is ready, willing, and able to lead her on a ride like no other she's been on.., one she will want to ride over and over again.., always want to get right back on.., and never get off.., you are the drug she's been waiting to get high off of.., you are the man who can be the source of the most emotionally stimulating and powerful feelings she has ever experienced.., the man who will be part of every thought on her mind.. and not only are you that man.., everyone else wants a man like this.., and you must now find out if she is the type of woman that has more than just her looks to offer you.., because compared to what you have to offer.., her looks don't count for much.., they are.. in effect.., "immaterial"..

Pitfalls:

1. Pedestle Complex: You "see" a girl you like.., her butt is the only thing you notice among the hordes of people in the room.., you must go over and talk to her.., you make the bold move.. to walk over there and start the conversation.., "Hi.., i'm ____.., can I buy you a drink?" (rejection).., if not before the drink.., then definitely after the drink.., why? Because the only reason you walked over there.., was because of her looks.., there's no other motivation that could have given you such a strong urge based on that limited external information alone.. (which means.., it may not be nervousness you're feeling.. but guilt of deviant intentions that is holding you back), so not only is she flattered.. (i'm so hot.., that this guy walked across the room to try and ask me if he could buy me a drink..).., but it's an uncomfortable vibe to be getting from a guy.. very uncomfortable.. (think about it.. only her looks motivated you.. which means all interest you are clearly implying.., is caused by her looks alone.., which means to some degree or an other.., you only want sex).. flattering.., but no thanks.., "I think I have to go to the bathroom.. stay right here.., i'll be right back"..

2. Nervousness: When you are nervous.., it is because you are uncertain of acceptance.. and fear rejection taking place.., you feel that the two of you are going to be walking into the boardroom pretty soon.. laying your cards out on the table.., and you simply don't have as much to offer her.. as she has to offer you.., you start to think to yourself.. "why on earth would a beautiful woman like her.. this brilliant object of femininity.. want me?".., you doubt that she will accept your offer.., and in doing so.., convince yourself that her offer is more valuable to you than your offer is to her.. (in other words.., based on her looks alone.., the only limited external information you have to work with.. you feel that the perfect information of who you are.. is not enough to match her looks alone.., so you end up feeling nervous).. you can also see why this is so unattractive.., if her looks alone are nothing but immaterial.., and you feel based on the perfect information you have available to you.., that she has more value to offer you than you do to her.. that she would be "doing you a favor" by accepting.., that you would be "lucky" if she did.., that you would somehow come out "ahead".., then that means that she would end up comming out "behind".., getting the raw end of the deal.., and if you have less than her immaterial looks to offer her.., no thanks.., she doesn't want it.. no deal..

Inner Game: This is what it's all about.., perfect self-awareness.., walking in the negotiation table.., knowing without a doubt.. that she would be making a bad move if she did anything but accept.. that (she) would be "lucky" if (you) accept.., (you) would be "doing (her) a favor" if you accepted.., and in knowing so.., you are obviously not only not willing to trade.., you're not in the business of doing anyone favors.., you're not about to sell yourself short or settle for the raw end of the deal.., you want a fair exchange.., you refuse to trade unless she proves that she has something of value to offer you in return for what you have to offer her.., (remember.., her looks are immaterial.. so you are constantly qualifying her to see if she matches up to your expectations & standards).., when you come to this realization.., and find yourself in this mental state.., this negotiating frame of mind.., you'll notice how you automatically.., don't convey any.., interest, needy-ness, pushy-ness, desperation, creepy-ness, attention/validation seeking, etc.., that's because you're not begging her to go through with the trade.. because given the information you have.. it's not yet beneficial to you.., so unless you see that it is.., you're not interested.., and you'll start to see.., how this wonderful object of femininity (with this amazing butt).., is actually qualifying herself to you.., so that you can accept her.. so that you can see that she is good enough for you.. (don't confuse this with "acting"/"playing" "hard-to-get".., two totally different things.., leave that to little girls.., day & night.., Inner Game is actual self-awareness based on who you really are.. it's not at all an act.. which is why it makes you bullet-proof to sh*t-tests and all tests of any kind.. and makes it so much easier to sh*t-call her)

Best,

GrkScorp

[bohemiandonut]

I understand the psychology behind it, but I feel like without some sort of Grk-tried-and-true plan my uber-confidence will not have the chance to showcase itself, because it will be hindered by some dumb obstacle.

Like there is this one (only one) hot babe in my chem lecture, but it's basically been an entire semester and we always sit in the same general respective quadrants. If I suddenly go sit by her isn't that obvious? Is arriving before her or after her more obvious? Is thinking about this the real problem? She also always has a yoga mat with her after 8am lecture which could be the key to a great opener. I always wanted to try the D'angelo classic: "So how is that for your glutes?" Any suggestions for this PARTICULAR CASE. It can't be practice with this one.

[GrkScorp]

I understand the psychology behind it

Good..

but I feel like without some sort of Grk-tried-and-true plan my uber-confidence will not have the chance to showcase itself, because it will be hindered by some dumb obstacle.

You? BD? Nah.., you're selling yourself too short.., do you have any idea what you're saying? The guy who got HB-pretty-face? What.., now because all of a sudden it's HB-hott-butt things have changed? No..

Like there is this one (only one) hot babe in my chem lecture, but it's basically been an entire semester and we always sit in the same general respective quadrants.

I like where this is going..

If I suddenly go sit by her isn't that obvious? Is arriving before her or after her more obvious? Is thinking about this the real problem?

Yes.., yes.., and yet again.., yes..

She also always has a yoga mat with her after 8am lecture which could be the key to a great opener. I always wanted to try the D'angelo classic: "So how is that for your glutes?"

Yeah.., and I always wanted to try the Gunswitch classic; "Hi.., i'm ___.., what's you're name? (Her: Name).., Great.., now we're done with the formal introductions.., let's go back to my place and have sex".., but I hate lines.., lines don't work.., because they hold no consideration or focus towards how their listener will feel.., what emotions, feelings, and thoughts will be created.., and that's more important than saying a "classic" line from D'Angelo.., (you can use it.., and it IS C&F.., but use it later in the conversation.., not as a way to start the conversation)

Any suggestions for this PARTICULAR CASE. It can't be practice with this one.

That's the wrong attitude.., and you know it BD.., (one-itis) for a girl you haven't even exchanged a single word with all semester long.., are her looks alone causing you to doubt yourself.., to lose confidence in all that internal value you have to offer? What are her looks.., in front of what you have to offer her? Take a moment to really think about that.., and as you do.., let me help you out.., NOTHING! Her looks don't count for sh*t.., they really.., honestly.., truly.., don't.. All they entail.., is the "possibility" of her sexually satisfying you.., and guess what.., you are bringing that to the table for her already.., you're certain of that.., but you're uncertain of her being able to sexually satisfy you.., so from looks alone.., you're in the stronger bargaining position.., plus you're packing your inner qualities.., you have no idea who SHE is.., she doesn't matter.., yet.., or possibly ever.., all you're interested in doing.. is finding out if there is anything more to this pretty face.. that's it.. without intimidating her with your value..

Subcommunication:

- You're immune & unaffected by her physical traits or sexual power
- No.., you're not gay.., you're actually quite alpha
- Which means women like her are pretty common in your life
- Which means she hasn't displayed any kind of value for herself
- Which means she will have to display more value to impress you
- Which means she's no longer in the comfortable position of being around a weak guy who is nervous around her and makes her feel powerful and in control.., she is actually around a secure and strong man.., who makes her feel powerless.., and uncomfortable that she has no control over him.., uneasy that he is unaffected by her.., and when that happens.., she finds herself in the submissive position.., ready to give in to your dominating position.., let the game begin..

You will need:

- Social Proof: (Who are you?) You are the guy who is the leader & center of attention of his micro-tribe of other students in the class.., even better if this is the socially dominant social tribe in the class.., and she can determine this for herself quite quickly..

Pre-Opening:

- (talking to your friends.., slightly loud.., just enough for it to make it to her ears).. "Chem.., all these science classes.., I've never been in one where i've seen a good-looking girl.., it's always filled with girls that are either just below average.., or look like guys.. English classes.., that's where all the cute girls are..".. (cough cough.., yes.., that's an AOE-PD.. which means she feels that you don't think anyone in that class is attractive.., including her.., so when you open up to her later.., there's no way she can rationalize that you're interested in her.. pre-opening w/ AOE-PDs.. "advanced")

Opening:

- (If she's alone.., directly to her.., obviously.., if she's with others.., open to others first.., without looking at her.., you don't care about her reaction.., she doesn't matter.., unless you want to telegraph a totally different message to her..).., "Wow.., thank g-d the semester is almost over.., no more getting up at 8am (or whenever you start).., (others: agreement).., I can't do it.., i'm not a morning person at all.., I don't know how some people get up earlier than that.. (wait to see if she will jump to mention her yoga class.., if she doesn't.., just casually be looking at her yoga mat).., You don't actually come back from yoga in the morning to chem lab do you? (her: yes.. blah blah).., What? Wow.., how do you wake up so early? (her: bragging indirectly).., Well.., for Spring Break.., i'm not getting up any earlier than 1pm.., I still don't know where i'm going to go.. blah blah blah (in conversation)".. (notice: if conversation start to die out.., it's a perfect time for.. "is that any good for your glutes?".. don't be afraid to be sarcastic.., bust her balls a little.., "yeah.., obviously for me..., you can tell I go to yoga all the time.., not for the girls.., for the artistic expression.., and at 6am everyday of course.., but you can probably tell just by looking at my butt.. psst.. don't hate")

Best,

GrkScorp

[bohemiandonut]

Haha oh man you're good Grk. Reading your posts is like a little daytrip into the fantasy self. Much appreciated.

[GrkScorp]

Reading your posts is like a little daytrip into the fantasy self.

That's "partially" the point.., and as you see yourself being that person.., it's easier to make it less and less of a fantasy.., and more and more your reality.. now.., when you notice that happening.., then you'll realize the "complete" point of each post..

Best,

GrkScorp

[Kromat]

Haha, this was one of your better posts, because it got down to the point pretty quick.

Seems like you ( GrkScorp ) really get involved when proving a point, and probably have lots of experience too?

I'm only at the beginning stages of attempting to get into a relationship,
my approaches are working, but the connection with someone will prove
how ready I am, or wait until I'm more experienced.
Our lives are so determined by how much money we make
and our status amongst our peers, that we forget sometimes
how important finding happiness and true love in our lives truly is.

P.S. I'm happy for the people that make their relationships last all these years
through the good and the bad, and just try to learn from the mistakes that
they have done and move on, so they don't try to make them again.

Hopefully, I'll find someone eventually that appreciates me and that I can make
her happy to have found such a guy that truly cares to know what I mean to her.

[bohemiandonut]

Someone seriously needs to play the role of my scrotal conscience and wake me up to how pathetically irresponsible my daily life is.

Today I attended an astrophysics seminar on campus. No reason, I just like doing that sort of shit, okay? Whatever. As I'm walking out, this insaaaaanely hot little indian babe struts out in front me. MMMMM! Oh man just the perkiest little thing I'd seen all day. And she was in the ****ing seminar listening to a lecture on baryon acoustic oscillations!

Of course, I can view this as one of two things: God is teasing me, or, God is shaking his almighty Zeus-head at me as he adds another event to his "morph-into-a-dream-mortal-and-pleasure-in-her-sleep" calender. You get what I'm saying? No, you don't.

But DAMN I'm such a freakin' pussy.