childlike turnoff?

[busgirl]

one question, two parts:
are guys totally turned off by a girl with a kid?
what if you really liked this girl?

[Pretender]

Thats a good one I'd like to know that myself.

[peshkunta]

Yes.
__________

[bluesummer]

yeah, my sister has a kid. I always wondered if that would cut a lot of her options down.

[MVPlaya]

one question, two parts:
are guys totally turned off by a girl with a kid?
what if you really liked this girl?

Case In Point:

Just this Saturday I was out with friends and dancing with this attractive Latina. We both had our hands all over eachother and I would've taken it somewhere if it wasn't for the fact that one of my friends told me she had a 1-yr old. She was 22.

[squirrley]

Im stepping in on this cause Im one of 2 moms on here. However, my son is 15 in a couple of months. I think the older you get and your child the easier it is. When you have a young child it might make things more difficult-hell it does now, but it depends on the man. I wont say that men who arent interested because you have a child is a dog or anything...but they may not want that situation.

A lot of "men" probably wouldnt care. I had several blind dates and they knew before hand and that didnt bother them. Maybe because these guys were in there 30's. But in my experience no one cared that I had a child.

Guess it depends on the circle of friends things...

[hallanole]

another mom here, i'm 23 and i have a 3 year old.

i find that it totally depends. I had dated a few guys that didn't care that i had a young child. granted these guys were a bit older. i was 21 they were 27-29. then there are other guys who don't want the "instant family".

there is proof that guys don't mind. my friends are perfect examples. jay loves my girl and her son. he's even great with my daughter. Now i'm just watching for this type of guy to stumble my way.

[BillyGalbreath]

I just turned 20 last friday (arpil 16) and I have 3 kids -- so to answer the question - no, I am not turned off by a woman with kids.

[m_s_m]

to me, It make no difference.

the differnce is the girl itself and many other respects are of interset.

[dragoon]

It's something to consider, but doesn't really change anything for me. If it's only ever casual dating, then the kid doesn't really come into play much. If you end up really liking the girl, it just becomes a matter of liking her and her kid. If I really like the girl, I have no doubt I'd like the kid too (as what kind of mother she is factors into how much I like her).

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Would I date a girl with kids? Anyday. Would a get really serious with a girl with kids? Not for a while, I'd have to secure my career and stablilize my life from a financial and emotional standpoint before becoming a father figure to anyone. But I'd date a mom until I WAS at that point then take it to the next level.

[my_540i]

I am currently dating a girl with a 3 year old doughter. Its a tough task but in the end its really worth it. Both partners have to be willing to make some major sacrafices in order for the relationship to work.

[sfalexi]

Right now, in my mind, I say no. I'm 21 years old, and at this point in my life one of the things that I want is to start my own family in the future. With my OWN kids. Not raising someone else's knowing that I'm not the father and wasn't there from the beginning.

However in the future, I might end up changing. I might find someone with a child that I adore and wouldn't mind raising. Or I might not find a suitable longterm partner until later on in life when the child is older. When the child is older and more independant, it seems it would be easier since you can talk to them more on a mature level and they would be able to understand/cope with a change in the family situation much easier than a young child. Then again, there are those children who are SO young that they won't ever remember.

I guess I would have to say that yes, it'd be somewhat of a turnoff, and isn't want I'm looking for, but I believe there are exceptions to EVERY rule. However you give me two great girls to choose from, and one has a kid, I'm going to the one without.

Alexi

[IceQueen]

My SO has a kid. I don't mind one bit.

[sfalexi]

THought I'd bring this back up since now I have EXPERIENCE in the situation. Here's what happened.

I was out at a bar last night with some friends of mine. (fairly plastered, but still had my wits and no slurred speech. Just wouldn't drive) A very pretty girl starts talking with me and we talk and have a good time. She asks my age, I say 21, she tells me she's 24, she tells me she has three kids (from two pregnancies. Two twins and another son). Then also tells me that she was married at nineteen (stupidly she says) and had her son in that marriage and the twins after.

But I kept talking to her. For some reason it didn't seem to bother me as much as I thought (like I said in previous posts) although I did tell her flat out, "I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm a little weary in the fact that you have three kids. But you seem like a cool girl. So I'm not gonna worry too much about it."

Then she offers to buy me a beer on the condition that before the night is over I give her my name and number. I reply sorry but I don't have a pen or anything to write on but would take her name and number and put it in my cellphone. She says, "No. Cause if I do that, you won't call me because I'm 24 and because I have 3 kids." I assured her that was not a real big issue and we found a pen and exchanged numbers. Then she and her friends followed me and my friends where we went to a diner afterwards and ate.

So I guess I handled it better than I thought I would have. Goes to show that no matter how you THINK you might handle something, sometimes you find out differently when the time actually comes around. Well, I'll give her a call and chill with her. She's a cool girl (as far as I could tell).

Alexi