Cheated...

[lesa]

Sorry, I think it's hilarious that she managed to make tons of bad decisions that night...but managed to be conscious enough to remember a condom.

What a safe cheater.

Yeah, sounds like it was planned.

[lesa]

This weekend I tried to break up with my boyfriend, but he had to be somewhere else on Friday so I couldn't. It happened Saturday. I ditched him two days in a row and cheated on him. This is the worse thing I've ever done to someone. He just came over and I saw him cry for the first time in two years. He told me that I'm a horrible person, the guy I cheated on with was a terrible friend, and I have no conscience. This is really bad. He's going to tell all his friends and family what I did.
Any advice from cheaters? I guess there's nothing else to do...

Not all cheaters are scum, and not all scum are cheaters. I made some poor decisions. I was drinking and smoking weed with the guy, I lost my sense of judgement and things just spun out of control. I didn't want to tell him what happened, but he asked me directly if I cheated and couldn't bring myself to lie again.

This was a stupid thread to start. I should have mentioned that I was at a party and drugs/alcohol are a rarity for me.
Cain, if you're going to give advice, you could try doing it without being a jerk. Average Joe, thank you. Gribble, I wasn't trying to justify my actions with drugs. It was one several factors that led to poor judgement.

I was forgiven by my bf today, and we got back together. I told the guy I cheated with (was my best friend for 6 years) that I can't see or talk to him again.. he's been in love with me for years, I just never let myself believe it..it was depressing. Broke someone else's heart.

I was pretty dumb for cheating, but not dumb enough to do it without protection.

I had the idea that the grass is greener on the other side... I lost sight of the good in him, and became selfish. We reconsiled our differences, and things are ok now.

Why get back when you wanted to end it? Why not get with the “best friend”? There seems to be some contradictory statements here. I think Stirfry is entertaining us. I really hope so. If not, my advice for cheaters is to not be a relationship with anyone for a while. Possibly a year or so. Casually date if necessary but no relationship.

[Babydoll]

As you asked for advice from cheaters.. the Queen is here:

You obviously cheated cus you didn't wana be with him. And I'm guessing he probably did something wrong or was a certain way for you to cheat on him.
Secondly.. you were going to split up anyway. It was like a day before you did. He'd be just as upset if you did it as soon as you'd finished.. It's just now he has an excuse to have a go at you. He wouldn't have one if you'd ditched him first. He'd probably still be crushed if you went off with someone a month later. I don't think the timing has anything to do with it.. he'd still be upset. There's bugger all you can do about that. You can't be with him just to make him happy. Sure it may upset the family. They'll get over it. Your gonna break off from his family anyways if you aren't his girlfriend so..
Don't regret it. Don't regret anything in life. It's all experience. Cheating is wrong I guess.. but it's happened now.. just got to deal with it. You probably enjoyed it at the time anyways so at least something good came from it.
Also now you probably won't have your now ex-boyfriend being a whiney bitch and trying to get back with you. That's one of the reasons I cheated on one of my boyfriends. It worked. But even though I cheated on them all.. we're all friends now. It might take about 6 months.. but he'll speak to you again and be on good terms with you again.
Sadly though, cheating does become a habit for most people. Mainly because the more you do it.. the less you regret it. However, use this to your advantage. You'll know when you've found someone you really love and care about when you don't cheat on them. When you don't need anything more to fill you up. I had both of my most recent exes (I say most recent, it was 2 years ago now) on the go at the same time for like.. 10 months.. and that wasn't enough to stop me cheating on them with 30+ people!
Now I have a guy which I'm quite happi with and have never cheated on. I decided to lose my virginity to him. So in a way.. cheating helped me to pick out 'the one'. You only really have your younger years to play the field.. and then you have a loooooong life with one person. Until you mature.. have a laugh.
Don't regret it girl. As the old woman on The Vicar Of Dibley said "Have as many men as possible when your young. I'm 73, I didn't, and I've regretted it ever since."
Sure cheatings not nice.. neither is masturbating over your best friends boyfriend. At the end of the day.. same attitude to both: sod it.
Look on the bright side... while I await the abuse from the 'Cheating is naughty' squad.

[IndiReloaded]

Actually, BabyDoll, while I don't agree with cheating I respect your position. At least you know exactly why you do what you do & you make no excuses for it. And it sounds like all your cheating was done w/o intercourse. At least you weren't potentially spreading disease around.

[Babydoll]

Actually, BabyDoll, while I don't agree with cheating I respect your position. At least you know exactly why you do what you do & you make no excuses for it. And it sounds like all your cheating was done w/o intercourse. At least you weren't potentially spreading disease around.

lol there's a first. Yeah I wouldn't give my body away to anyone very easily. My current boyfriend had to wait a good 6 months. I think sex is more than just an act.. I think it's a special connection between two people and shouldn't be taken as lightly as it is these days. At the end of the day.. it makes life metaphorically out of love.. and I don't think it should be shared around (how selfish of me lol).

[Stirfry]

YES I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON.
This is cleary very entertaining for you all to read. You guys just love to get in there and throw the rocks. I was fully aware there'd be some people on here thinking of the nastiest thing to say and pretend it's great advice. Truthfully, I'm a little insane. I wasn't looking for excuses, pity, or empathy. I was just upset and had nobody to talk to about this. I got back together with my bf because I remembered how I feel about him. I cheated partly because my "friend" had manipulatively convinced me that I was doing the right thing. There are too many other little details, and I don't want to waste your time by having you read this. Cain.. I bet if any woman friend of yours knew you were sitting at a computer with a love forum account calling people whores and scum, she'd think you have issues as well. Get a life.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm pragmatic in these matters. Its about the consistency of intent vs. actions that I think is the problem with cheaters.

Know your mind & be willing to pay the price. That is all.

[IndiReloaded]

Stirfry, the reason ppl are still throwing rocks is b/c you keep posting but saying nothing about what you've learned from this.

Its what I just said to Babydoll. Know your mind. If you do these things & don't even understand why, you WILL continue to do them, leaving a trail of broken hearts in your wake.

Buyer beware for them, of course. I'm sure your 'friend' learned a good lesson from you & he will be grateful someday. Your BF too, without doubt is doing some major processing, right now.

But what about you? What are you feeling about all this? And what are you going to do about it?

[Mish]

YES I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON.

So what have you learnt?

I got back together with my bf because I remembered how I feel about him.

You felt repulsed and disgusted by your bf to the point where you wanted to break up with him and you cheated on him, now for an instance you are feeling good about him, what will happen when those initial feelings return?

I cheated partly because my "friend" had manipulatively convinced me that I was doing the right thing.

You can't be manipulated into something you don't want to do in the first place. Think about it. Could your friend have manipulated you to jump out the window? It sounds more like you allowed yourself to be manipulated so you can shift responsibility for the actions and blame onto him instead of yourself. Never mind your bf, what I wonder is how can you trust yourself after this? How can you look in the mirror with any form of certainty?

Anyway, all of that aside. Is this just a rant or are you looking for advice?

[Cain]

YES I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON.
This is cleary very entertaining for you all to read. You guys just love to get in there and throw the rocks. I was fully aware there'd be some people on here thinking of the nastiest thing to say and pretend it's great advice. Truthfully, I'm a little insane. I wasn't looking for excuses, pity, or empathy. I was just upset and had nobody to talk to about this. I got back together with my bf because I remembered how I feel about him. I cheated partly because my "friend" had manipulatively convinced me that I was doing the right thing. There are too many other little details, and I don't want to waste your time by having you read this. Cain.. I bet if any woman friend of yours knew you were sitting at a computer with a love forum account calling people whores and scum, she'd think you have issues as well. Get a life.

Oh please. You act as if my calling you a whore and scum is only because you're a woman. If Frasbee was on here talking about the time he cheated on his gf, I'd be calling him a whore and scum too.

Regardless, you're still a lying, cheating, whorebag.

[Cain]

You can't be manipulated into something you don't want to do in the first place. Think about it. Could your friend have manipulated you to jump out the window? It sounds more like you allowed yourself to be manipulated so you can shift responsibility for the actions and blame onto him instead of yourself. Never mind your bf, what I wonder is how can you trust yourself after this? How can you look in the mirror with any form of certainty?

She's been trying to shift responsibility for her actions the whole time. First it was that she was going to break up with her bf, then it was that she had drugs and alcohol involved, and then it was that he manipulated her.

She cheated on her bf with a guy who was in love with her. For all we know, she didn't even tell her bf that she cheated. All she said was he was crushed when she tried to break the relationship off.

[lesa]

As you asked for advice from cheaters.. the Queen is here:

You obviously cheated cus you didn't wana be with him. And I'm guessing he probably did something wrong or was a certain way for you to cheat on him.
Secondly.. you were going to split up anyway. It was like a day before you did. He'd be just as upset if you did it as soon as you'd finished.. It's just now he has an excuse to have a go at you. He wouldn't have one if you'd ditched him first. He'd probably still be crushed if you went off with someone a month later. I don't think the timing has anything to do with it.. he'd still be upset. There's bugger all you can do about that. You can't be with him just to make him happy. Sure it may upset the family. They'll get over it. Your gonna break off from his family anyways if you aren't his girlfriend so..
Don't regret it. Don't regret anything in life. It's all experience. Cheating is wrong I guess.. but it's happened now.. just got to deal with it. You probably enjoyed it at the time anyways so at least something good came from it.
Also now you probably won't have your now ex-boyfriend being a whiney bitch and trying to get back with you. That's one of the reasons I cheated on one of my boyfriends. It worked. But even though I cheated on them all.. we're all friends now. It might take about 6 months.. but he'll speak to you again and be on good terms with you again.
Sadly though, cheating does become a habit for most people. Mainly because the more you do it.. the less you regret it. However, use this to your advantage. You'll know when you've found someone you really love and care about when you don't cheat on them. When you don't need anything more to fill you up. I had both of my most recent exes (I say most recent, it was 2 years ago now) on the go at the same time for like.. 10 months.. and that wasn't enough to stop me cheating on them with 30+ people!
Now I have a guy which I'm quite happi with and have never cheated on. I decided to lose my virginity to him. So in a way.. cheating helped me to pick out 'the one'. You only really have your younger years to play the field.. and then you have a loooooong life with one person. Until you mature.. have a laugh.
Don't regret it girl. As the old woman on The Vicar Of Dibley said "Have as many men as possible when your young. I'm 73, I didn't, and I've regretted it ever since."
Sure cheatings not nice.. neither is masturbating over your best friends boyfriend. At the end of the day.. same attitude to both: sod it.
Look on the bright side... while I await the abuse from the 'Cheating is naughty' squad.

I was going to same "Damn, that's ******up for you to do all those things". But, then I read that you lost your virginity to current boy and have not cheated on him. Ah, must be high school kiddy cheating. Not exactly the same. Just immature swapping of boys.

[Cain]

As you asked for advice from cheaters.. the Queen is here:

You obviously cheated cus you didn't wana be with him. And I'm guessing he probably did something wrong or was a certain way for you to cheat on him.
Secondly.. you were going to split up anyway. It was like a day before you did. He'd be just as upset if you did it as soon as you'd finished.. It's just now he has an excuse to have a go at you. He wouldn't have one if you'd ditched him first. He'd probably still be crushed if you went off with someone a month later. I don't think the timing has anything to do with it.. he'd still be upset. There's bugger all you can do about that. You can't be with him just to make him happy. Sure it may upset the family. They'll get over it. Your gonna break off from his family anyways if you aren't his girlfriend so..
Don't regret it. Don't regret anything in life. It's all experience. Cheating is wrong I guess.. but it's happened now.. just got to deal with it. You probably enjoyed it at the time anyways so at least something good came from it.
Also now you probably won't have your now ex-boyfriend being a whiney bitch and trying to get back with you. That's one of the reasons I cheated on one of my boyfriends. It worked. But even though I cheated on them all.. we're all friends now. It might take about 6 months.. but he'll speak to you again and be on good terms with you again.
Sadly though, cheating does become a habit for most people. Mainly because the more you do it.. the less you regret it. However, use this to your advantage. You'll know when you've found someone you really love and care about when you don't cheat on them. When you don't need anything more to fill you up. I had both of my most recent exes (I say most recent, it was 2 years ago now) on the go at the same time for like.. 10 months.. and that wasn't enough to stop me cheating on them with 30+ people!
Now I have a guy which I'm quite happi with and have never cheated on. I decided to lose my virginity to him. So in a way.. cheating helped me to pick out 'the one'. You only really have your younger years to play the field.. and then you have a loooooong life with one person. Until you mature.. have a laugh.
Don't regret it girl. As the old woman on The Vicar Of Dibley said "Have as many men as possible when your young. I'm 73, I didn't, and I've regretted it ever since."
Sure cheatings not nice.. neither is masturbating over your best friends boyfriend. At the end of the day.. same attitude to both: sod it.
Look on the bright side... while I await the abuse from the 'Cheating is naughty' squad.

I'm glad you mentioned that you lost your virginity to your current bf cause the "30+ people" comment made me initially think "whore"..

I still don't condone cheating. I don't think there is any excuse for it. If you don't want to be with a guy, tell him that you don't want to be with him. You hurt people by cheating a lot more than you would by simply breaking up with them.

[lesa]

Actually Babydoll, to me, it seems that you were just casually dating several men at a time and then you eventually chose the one that you wanted and entered a serious relationship with him. Casual dating is really not cheating if all parties involved know that you are in an opened dating relationship. You did not tell them I suppose and that is where the technical cheating comes in.

[lesa]

lol there's a first. Yeah I wouldn't give my body away to anyone very easily. My current boyfriend had to wait a good 6 months. I think sex is more than just an act.. I think it's a special connection between two people and shouldn't be taken as lightly as it is these days. At the end of the day.. it makes life metaphorically out of love.. and I don't think it should be shared around (how selfish of me lol).

You do believe in not sharing your body randomly with any man and you believe in an exclusive sexual relationship so you will probably not have issues with cheating in the future.