Cheated...

[vashti]

Good. Now rub our feet.

[IndiReloaded]

Meh. Hyperbole. Your GF must love when you get into these ruts.

Tell her to come on here. We'll teach her the correct way to roll up a newspaper.

[Cain]

I don't know what else to say. I state that I, having gone through temptation, got through it with no issues. It wasn't as difficult as some of you make it seem. But it seems as if it doesn't matter what I say, I'm susceptible.

I don't know what else to do but surrender.

[IndiReloaded]

Cain, I am really, really good at solving science & math problems. For many years, I really didn't understand how it is that so many ppl find those questions difficult to think about.

Then I encountered a situation that I really had to work at to find a solution. I'm still not convinced its the optimal one, but one does one's best.

Certain mindsets deal with certain types of problems better than others. I would say you haven't really stretched yourself in this regard yet. And I don't necessarily mean about cheating; I believe you when you say you don't have a problem in this regard. Lucky you.

Maybe your issue will be generating emotional empathy for another person's problem. Or understanding alternate viewpoints when they conflict with your own. Or handling criticism. Or doing difficult science problems.

But once you find your 'working issue', that's when things in life get really interesting. I suspect you're in for a jolly time.

[1averagejoe]

I've been tempted to have drugs, alcohol, and even sex before I felt I was ready...but I never gave in. And I agree with Indi on the fact that how these temptations will affect you is solely up to the person. We're all different, some of us can resist the temptations better than others. I've done pretty darn well so far to be honest, and don't think I would have too much of a problem in the future because I feel I have a good set of morals. Of course those morals can be broken, I've broken a few in the past, I've fallen temptation to things I wish I hadn't. You really don't know what the future has planned for you. But after having being cheated on once, I can say that the pain I went through will always be in the back of my mind as a reminder of what damage I am capable of causing.

I can definitely agree that it's about understanding when not to put yourself into certain situations. If you think you might do drugs, don't put yourself into that situation. If you think you might have sex and cheat, don't put yourself into that situation.

[Bennyzilla]

It seems to me all stirfry has gained from this is a hatred for all of us on this forum. Sorry noone wanted to hold your hand and tell you it was all going to be ok. I wish your BF would stand up for himself and drop you like a furry animal that at first seemed nice but once you pick it up you realize its crazy so you drop it quickly....

[IndiReloaded]

Stirfry cancelled her membership. That's why her SN & post count no longer shows. Nice job everyone.

[tooxshort]

That's unfortunate ... but I guess nothing could protect her from the onslaught ...

[IndiReloaded]

[DarkDwarf]

I think that a large part of learning not to cheat is growing up. Look at it this way: I know people, regardless of their age group, are attracted to people of the opposite sex, who may not necessarily be their S.O. This is not the point, however; the point is, the majority of these people have learned to control their impulses, and this is what cheaters lack. Impulse control is something that comes with age (or so I have seen), and therefore, in a way, cheaters have not grown up.

At one point, when I was dating a girl, I met another girl. I really liked girl B, in fact, probably more than I liked girl A, but I realized two things: A. it most likely wouldn't work out (mainly because she lived in a different area than I), and B. I had 'promised' myself, in a sense, to girl A.

Someone here was previously argueing that cheating is not necessarily physical, but on the contrary, it is. If it isn't physical, and a lust for another person is 'cheating' then we are all cheaters.

[Cain]

Cain, I am really, really good at solving science & math problems. For many years, I really didn't understand how it is that so many ppl find those questions difficult to think about.

Then I encountered a situation that I really had to work at to find a solution. I'm still not convinced its the optimal one, but one does one's best.

Certain mindsets deal with certain types of problems better than others. I would say you haven't really stretched yourself in this regard yet. And I don't necessarily mean about cheating; I believe you when you say you don't have a problem in this regard. Lucky you.

Maybe your issue will be generating emotional empathy for another person's problem. Or understanding alternate viewpoints when they conflict with your own. Or handling criticism. Or doing difficult science problems.

But once you find your 'working issue', that's when things in life get really interesting. I suspect you're in for a jolly time.

I know there are things where I have problems. You touched on a couple of them.

When it comes to criticism, I'm alright as long as the criticism is constructive and worded correctly. I don't deal with jackass criticism.

Secondly, I'm definitely lacking in empathy as can be evidenced by some of my stances. I'm extremely opinionated about a lot of things and as most of my family would say, my opinion doesn't change much.

I am a lot better than I used to be and I'm still working on it. But luckily, I do have a strong will. It's allowed me to avoid temptation and not let peer pressure get to me.

I love my girlfriend too much to let temptation make me stray. Maybe if I was in a different relationship with some problems I wouldn't have such an easy time. But then again, if I was tempted to cheat, and was close to cheating, I would end the relationship as it obviously wasn't working.

[Cain]

Stirfry cancelled her membership. That's why her SN & post count no longer shows. Nice job everyone.

Tough. I don't know what she was expecting from us. It's not like she just cheated once. She's admitted to cheating multiple times. Not only that, she cheated on her boyfriend with a guy who was in love with her, knowing it was just a fling.

Maybe not all cheaters are scum. Maybe there are some circumstances where relationships are bad and not working and someone needs a release. But stirfry, however, is scum.

[Desinate]

It seems to me all stirfry has gained from this is a hatred for all of us on this forum. Sorry noone wanted to hold your hand and tell you it was all going to be ok. I wish your BF would stand up for himself and drop you like a furry animal that at first seemed nice but once you pick it up you realize its crazy so you drop it quickly....

Hahahahahaha... That made me laugh