good at going up to girls? tell us how you manage it

[Austinn]

I wana hear from some of those people who are good at going up to a GIRL, not a guy, talking about going up to girls only here, and hitting on them/getting their number, whatever.

Like what do you talk to them about. Im talking about random girls that you think might have an interest in you, not your friends best friend or w/e that you likely know and talk to all the time.

Like how do you go about doing it? Got any method that is tried and true that works for you alot? cmon if this is you post!!! im interested in ur answers

[Mish]

No method

You just have to remember that it's all about establishing a connection. There's no point having a phone number if there's no connection. You might have as well looked it up in white pages. To establish a connection you have to have good conversation skills and a lot of confidence to appraoch in the first place. But that's pretty much it. Once you do approach, anything goes. Talk about anything that will help you establish connection and keep it. Half way through provided connection is still there tell you have to leave, but would like to continue this at a later stage (You get their contacts here, but most importantly commitment to the next encounter).

Sometimes, when connection is strong right there and then there are other options that can be explored.

[Austinn]

well what about this, I go up to her, start talking to her, then do as you said, say I gotta go and happen to get her number. Why not instead of try and setup some other meeting then and there, or even later on the phone, why not just text her soon after, and find out what she likes, and all the other stuff.

Cuzz I think asking for her number, and also then if I get her number then immediatly asking for her to see me some other time is to fast imo, and prolly would make me look desperate to her and might scare her away. Was thinking texting because girls like to text and it doesnt take any guts on my part to text her soon after to find out stuff about her, and then maybe later agree to meet. What u think about that?

[Mish]

What u think about that?

It's up to you what you want to do at that point. Everyone works differently. I personally wouldn't do it because I ussually have other things to attend to (my week is ussually planned in advance). I might call the girl in a couple of days time to have a chat and then meet up when agreed.

[1averagejoe]

Just go up to her, and start talking casually. The conversation should flow. Then eventually you can bring up something like, "hey we should hang out sometime...can i get your phone number?" Then you just hold your breathe and hope for a yes. If it's anything other than a yes or sure, leave it at that. She's just making up excuses to not give it to you.

If you do get her number don't try reinventing the wheel.

Don't text her, yes a lot of girls like to text. But they're not stupid, it shows them that you've got no balls to pick up the phone and talk to them.

Secondly don't ask her what she likes right after talking to her. That will look like a desperate move. Don't even ask her what she likes or wants to do when you pick up the phone. Women like men that can make decisions for themselves. Ask her if she'd like to go to *insert place* with you. And don't call her the day after she gave the number. Give it a couple days, then call.

[Gigabitch]

Eye contact is crucial. If you can sustain eye contact, especially the kind that says "Damn, you're so spectacular, I can't look away", you're halfway there. Make her feel that just looking at her is giving you sensual pleasure.

[Austinn]

well yea texting her instead of talking to her on the phone does sorta run the risk of her thinking im scared to talk, but then on the other hand, if she actually blew me off because I was texting her instead of calling her, then how interested is she really anyways... I think if she gives me her number she prolly wont mind texting that much, and I could talk to her as well, just would be easier to text cuzz I do wana find stuff out about her, to see if being with her would be easy or not, location wise/school wise and all, and asking all that stuff on the phone makes it feel like an interview, whereas I can make it real casual thrue texting, so that would be a better avenue I think.

[1averagejoe]

well yea texting her instead of talking to her on the phone does sorta run the risk of her thinking im scared to talk, but then on the other hand, if she actually blew me off because I was texting her instead of calling her, then how interested is she really anyways... I think if she gives me her number she prolly wont mind texting that much, and I could talk to her as well, just would be easier to text cuzz I do wana find stuff out about her, to see if being with her would be easy or not, location wise/school wise and all, and asking all that stuff on the phone makes it feel like an interview, whereas I can make it real casual thrue texting, so that would be a better avenue I think.

Learning about her is called the first date...call her, don't text, and don't ask too many questions. It's just a simple, "do you want to hang out?" Where she lives and stuff, if it's necessary to know, will come up in the conversation over the phone or the date. Don't run the risk of her thinking you're a wimp because you would prefer to text her instead of talk to her.

[Gigabitch]

I would instantly dismiss a guy who didn't have the cojones or the interest to talk to me in person.

[DoesntMatter]

I would instantly dismiss a guy who didn't have the cojones or the interest to talk to me in person.

Oh come in, this means I'm gonna have to fly out to New Mexico to hit on you? Fucck that

[To0C0oL]

You just have to remember that it's all about establishing a connection.

Just go up to her, and start talking casually. The conversation should flow. Then eventually you can bring up something like, "hey we should hang out sometime...can i get your phone number?" Then you just hold your breathe and hope for a yes. If it's anything other than a yes or sure, leave it at that. She's just making up excuses to not give it to you.

Don't text her, yes a lot of girls like to text. But they're not stupid, it shows them that you've got no balls to pick up the phone and talk to them.

Secondly don't ask her what she likes right after talking to her. That will look like a desperate move. Don't even ask her what she likes or wants to do when you pick up the phone. Women like men that can make decisions for themselves. Ask her if she'd like to go to *insert place* with you. And don't call her the day after she gave the number. Give it a couple days, then call.

Eye contact is crucial. If you can sustain eye contact, especially the kind that says "Damn, you're so spectacular, I can't look away", you're halfway there. Make her feel that just looking at her is giving you sensual pleasure.

+1 on all of these..

And the main thing is, just remember,the worst that can happen, is she tells you "No, you cant have my number".. No harm, no foul..

Confidence is key, not cocky, CONFIDENCE.. You cant act like a little boy, act like a man.. Act like you know what you want and go after it..

[Austinn]

eh i gotta say I disagree with yalls stance on texting, I know alot of guys that have gf's that spend all day texting, with barely any actual contact lol, I mean I get what yall are saying, but I dont agree with the mentality that it is weakness to texst instead of talk on phone, I see them as the same in some respects, just different perspective I guess, cuzz i know alot of ppl who have no prob with texting, and some actually prefer it over talkign on phone


on the same note, not just the above but, another reason I would prefer to text the girl is because on my part once I got her number, I still would not be 100% sure I wanted to really have a relationship with someone that I essentially dont know, and to me atleast, texting her means two things: I can get the info I want to know about her faster because texting is less personal, so I can ask her questions in texts that in real time I might have to wait till more time passed or something to not make myself sound to probing, and two, If after I find out the info I wana know about her it turns out it prolly wont work out, texting is much easier to establish that that then have to go thrue various real time meetings that are nothing more than info-getting fests that waste my money if it doesnt go anywhere.

[To0C0oL]

eh i gotta say I disagree with yalls stance on texting, I know alot of guys that have gf's that spend all day texting, with barely any actual contact lol, I mean I get what yall are saying, but I dont agree with the mentality that it is weakness to texst instead of talk on phone, I see them as the same in some respects, just different perspective I guess, cuzz i know alot of ppl who have no prob with texting, and some actually prefer it over talkign on phone

Key phrase there, you know guys that ALREADY have GF's..

When you get a womans number, you call her the first time.. End of discussion..

Talking on the phone, texting, e-mailing, AIM should all be used very, very sparingly at the start of a relationship.. If you use them too much at the beginning of 1, then that leaves alot of discussion on a date already talked about and you could inadvertenly made yourself come off as "boring" to her during a date.. Once you guys know eachother and have been dating for awhile, sure, text, talk on the phone, etc all you want.. But untill that time, you should use it very sparingly, even so much as to only use it to ask her out and no more..

[Austinn]

eh I disagree frankly speaking, I think in some cases thats true, but I dont think that it is 100% garunteed to fail if you choose to do it differently, I dont think there are absolutes in this type of thing

[To0C0oL]

I dont think there are absolutes in this type of thing

No doubt about that.. These types of things are simply more in a "general" term.. Its never definate..

but I mean, in my experiences, talking over a comunication device alot at the start of a relationship, makes it much more difficult to have "meaningful" conversation on a date.. Its just too risky for me..

If you ask her a question you already have asked, then sh thinks you wern't paying attention.. And if you spent all day talking to her about her favorite color, how her day went, her favorite band, ETC and you then go out on a date with her, it takes away from possible conversations you can have.. I man, lets face it here, there is only so much you can talk about at 1 time to keep a person interested..