We met randomly on the street!

[destinationx]

Hey there,

a few weeks ago, I met a new girl. I was just starting karate class and needed to find the way to the centre we were training in. Suddenly I bump into this girl on the street who's kitted in her karate uniform. She has the group's emblem on it. So I approach her and we start talking. Turns out she's been training for a while and is very very warm and lovely to talk to. We get to know eachother a bit, and turns out she's from a certain Mediterranean island that not many people really know about, but I happened to! So I think she was grateful I expressed interest in her origin and spoke a bit about the food and culture there. (since hardly anyone knows that place!)

Anyways, we train a bit with the sensei (master), it's a small class today. I follow onto the basics reasonably well (as I've done Wushu before, so I know a lot of similar moves), and the session turns out to be fun. By the end of it, we are saying our goodbyes, and instantly she comes to say goodbye with a double cheek kiss! Something not too common with typical American girls. I guess that's part of her culture, but still, it was a very warm way to say goodbye and it was the beginning of a friendship.

Next day, I make a surprise apperance at a big training session, to which when I instantly appear through the door, I see the whole class warming up and jogging around in circles.. she shouts my name during this, much to my surprise. Seems she likes me a bit?

Anyways, blah blah blah we train, and so on. I ask her for advice on a few techniques i'm unsure on, and me the same to her on some more acrobatic moves she's not too great with. Generally, we get on well. Same old double cheek kiss goodbye.

However, from here on, things start to go downhill. I find out she's what? 5 years older than me, and I'm a high school senior so she's in college. and she's already got a boyfriend. . Well, I have accepted it, but now would still like to be very good friends with her. But recently, things haven't been as warm as before. We hardly ever do our usual double cheek kiss goodbye, and it turns more into a 'cya later' standard wave. As if we were strangers. (heck, it was warmest when we were still strangers!)

I never really initiate much of a warm greeting when we see eachother. Should I just go up to her and give her a hug? I don't know much etiquette with these things. I mean, is our usual double-cheek kiss too much for a 'hello' style greeting? And when we do say goodbye, should I follow up our double cheek kiss with a long hug?

She just doesnt really seem to talk as much anymore, but is a really warm person by personality, I know that for sure. She is definitely worth the effort to become better friends with. Never have I met such a warm girl, I don't even need to be in a relationship with her to feel happy. What advice can you give on strengthening our friendship? I think I gave her good first impressions on our first few days training together. But recently, things have died down. Bear in mind, she is a fair few years older than me.

Would offering her more help with techniques she's stuck on a good way to keep things friendly? or would she see it as 'making a move' which only drives her further away! In turn, should I do the same with techniques and moves i'm not too good on, by getting her help?

Oh, and I haven't even got around to asking her number yet since we train together most. (nope, not to ask her out, just a friends thing). So could this be a sign of nervousness on my behalf to her? I know girls love confidence, whatever style of relation they have with a guy (brothers, co-workers, friends, boyfriends, husbands, etc..)

I know this is 'Love forum', but what's so wrong in wanting to build up a friendship that may lead to something one day? The first few days we got to know eachother was a good enough indication for us to become good friends. I know these things happen naturally, but I have gone wrong somewhere and not made any pushes to strengthen our newly found friendship.

Any help'd be great, thanks.

[destinationx]

can anyone offer advice? thanks

[boobaa]

Uhm, you didn't really describe how close you were? Did you hug each other?

I am guessing it was just a friendship from the beginning on... You have some false hopes.

[Tone]

You can't cross the line, she's got a man.

I'll tell you what shh! would say and it's great advice for this situation... drop a little hint to her next time you guys are having flirty conversation, like "It's a shame you have a boyfriend, I'd love to take you out sometime" or something along those lines. It gets across that you are interested in her without crossing any boundaries.

[twisted]

SO really, it's not that you're interested in a friendship with her but rather you hope that by BECOMING friends that will eventually lead to something more. I've had guy friends do that to me before and it just ruined everything. If you want to be her friend, just be her friend. But when she breaks up with her boyfriend and you hit on her, you'll probably loose her forever if she doesn't have "other" interests in you. She'll be very disappointed in you, unless she likes you, and in that case she'll probably give you some pretty obvious hints.