+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: How do you offer to pay for coffee?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    California
    Posts
    349

    How do you offer to pay for coffee?

    I find it a bit awkward. Do I offer after they have ordered, like I go up to the cashier with my card? Or do I tell them in before they order that it will be on me? I've tried both, but both times have been a bit awkward, since people's first reaction is to decline.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    288
    more info...someone you go to a coffee shop with or are you just hanging out trying to buy patrons' coffee?

    I'm a guy, but you can buy mine, if you want. Not gonna date you though.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    1,044
    If I'm going with someone I know...I'll just order before him or her, then ask what they want. Then I will pay for both of us.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    7,098
    Order yours first, and then say "plus whatever she's having..." Do it with confidence... much of the discomfort you have experienced probably comes from her being able to see that the moment is awkward for you.

    If she takes out her money to pay, just say "no-no, it's on me this time".
    Last edited by shh!; 16-07-08 at 09:43 AM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Aussie Aussie Aussie
    Posts
    7,061
    I automatically pay for my girl, no need to ask.

    Everyone else can pay for themselves.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

  6. #6
    Gribble's Avatar
    Gribble is offline Love Gurus
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    All over the damn place.
    Posts
    3,658
    I usually just ask her what she wants and order it myself. Most of the time if you ask her that she'll blurt it out without realizing you're planning to pay. And she's not likely to argue at the register. So there. No awkward moment.
    God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
    -Mark Twain

    If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
    -Albert Einstein

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    In my house
    Posts
    180
    Quote Originally Posted by Off2College View Post
    I find it a bit awkward. Do I offer after they have ordered, like I go up to the cashier with my card?
    If you offer, then people will decline. Nobody wants to feel like a freeloader and accept your offer, it makes people feel guilty. Just don't make it into an offer! When the bill comes, without saying a word, pick it up and pay for it. There's no need to make it into some grandiose gesture and highlight what you're doing. Just pay for it like it's not a big deal. The less you make it matter, the less awkward it is for the both of you.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,711
    You just go to the cachier after the date, hand your money out and don't say a word. The best way is to not give the other person a chance to decline. Be fast. Don't say 'I'll pay', just hand out your money, quickly like its normal, your coffee.
    Don't expect anything.

  9. #9
    bluesummer's Avatar
    bluesummer is offline Whatever.
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Kelowna, BC
    Posts
    4,410
    Quote Originally Posted by shh! View Post
    Order yours first, and then say "plus whatever she's having..." Do it with confidence... much of the discomfort you have experienced probably comes from her being able to see that the moment is awkward for you.

    If she takes out her money to pay, just say "no-no, it's on me this time".
    ^This is what I normally do.

    It's always worked.
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

  10. #10
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    15,081
    Note to the young women: do NOT make a big deal if a guy pays for you. And don't offer to repay him. He won't take it & might be offended (you think he can't afford it).

    Just smile your brightest & say something like 'thanks, that was really sweet'. It will make his day. If you are truly worried about it, just offer to get the next time.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    California
    Posts
    349
    For future inquirers of this question: the suggestion of standing in line first, and telling the barrista that you are paying for your friends works very well. I tried it on 2 different girls in one night, worked flawlessly.

Similar Threads

  1. What is the best way to offer sex?
    By AnnaB86 in forum Ask a Male Forum
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-04-09, 05:37 PM
  2. Should I follow up on her offer?
    By 3mK in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 14-01-09, 05:19 AM
  3. Please offer your advice
    By Sosadnow in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 29-11-06, 11:55 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •