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Thread: Eternal Love

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Eternal Love

    I always chased slowly, mysteriously beyond
    The mountain hills - your clothes have their way:
    in their most woven form - are things which gave me,
    strength which i ran after because they guide home

    your transparent look, time will catch me
    though i find and lose myself,
    you stopped always to track me
    (tired, and lost) you still believe

    or if you see me dead and gone
    my soul will jump quietly
    as when the bear of this mountain crawls,
    the sound shall guide you nightly

    nothing we feel, even tears that flow
    cloth of your rocking chair that bow
    they kick and crawl my soul to sleep,
    as i watch above your mortal rest

    i do not fight to be in arms
    only guard and shout my lungs
    at moon above to shine all light
    on you my love, sleep tonight

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    So, this poem started off as a joke, nothing too serious... at one point, i just started stringing words together. then i began to see a story, so i molded it. then, molded it further...added stuff, and then deleted stuff... and finally... it is suppose to be an actual poem.

    i'm not sure if i did a good job at conveying the meaning.. so here is a general gist of it. it might mean something else to you, but here was my intention...

    ...it's simply a poem, told from the perspective of someone writing to his lover.












    i always chased slowly, mysteriously beyond
    he remembers chasing her near mountains (where they would mess around),

    The mountain hills- your clothes have their way
    meaning, she has a mind of her own, as she runs away from him, the sight of her clothes (and of course, her) gives him strength to carry on.. and guide him 'home'.

    (so, first paragraph, he see's and likes her.. but she is playfully running away)

    your transparent look, time will catch me
    they see eye to eye... 'your transparant look'. 'time will catch me'... so in time, something will catch up with him (not sure yet - foreshadow)...

    though i find and lose myself
    he lives as a nomad, a traveler discovering himself

    'you stopped always to track me"
    despite the above, she always waited and looked for him

    (tired, and lost) you still believe
    she always knew he would return

    or if you see me dead and gone
    he thought she may have forgot him

    my soul will jump quietly
    if she DID think this, then he will try come back (from dead)

    as when a bear of this mountain crawls
    just like a bear crawling in the mountains

    the sound shall guide you nightly
    he is saying, listen for me, i will guide you near


    nothing we feel, even tears that flow
    he doesn't feel anything, including tears that flow (more foreshadow)

    cloth of your rocking chair that bow
    even the cloth of her rocking chair bows 'down' (more foreshadow)

    they kick and crawl my soul to sleep
    as she rocks, waiting for his return, each rock makes it harder- and he feels pain

    as i watch above your mortal rest
    so here we see that he is indeed dead, and she is waiting in vain

    i do not fight to be in arms
    (he cannot escape from the dead)

    only guard and shout my lungs
    (as above - he cannot feel touch, all he can do is guard her, and shout silently...

    at moon above to shine all light
    (shout at the moon above, so shine as much light

    on you my love, sleep tonight
    ...he wants her to sleep in peace.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    15,440
    that's a beautiful poem, rk.
    baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    thx misombra. i guess i'm stepping up from poems that rhyme! lol. this poem started off as a complete joke. it was suppose to be about the spirituality of mountains...and then, it turned into something else.

    note to self...-must channel energy toward studying tommorow-

  5. #5
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    maybe that's why i love it so much. cause it's about the mountains.
    baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    great poem!

  7. #7
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    Sep 2008
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    Very very well written. Beautiful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    I don't get it.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    16
    nice poems

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