Is it 'okay' to seek a sex partner if spouse is forever severely disabled/incapable

[Aegis]

no, no, no, no, yes (me), no, no, no, no, no,...

...I feel like such scum...lol...

[starbuck]

no, no, no, no, yes (me), no, no, no, no, no,...

...I feel like such scum...lol...

You shouldn't. I initially said no, but you know what? I don't really, truly know what I'd do in that situation. It's hard to judge unless you're standing in those shoes.

I might have to change my answer to "maybe."

[shh!]

I don't know... I don't think I would do it, but maybe I would. I certainly wouldn't expect my husband to never have sex again... that would be incredibly selfish of me, don't you think?

[DoesntMatter]

If polygamy were legal none of this would be a problem

[Cain]

The problem I have with this situation is that by marrying someone, you're committing yourself to that one person, no matter what happens. Cheating is cheating. Luckily for us, God gave us hands so that we could fulfill our sexual needs. Women can practically shove anything up that hole of theirs and get off.. and now men have those nifty little Fleshlights.

The point is, it's still cheating. I would never leave my girl if she was disabled and I certainly wouldn't seek another partner. Then again, my relationship isn't based solely on sex.

[starbuck]

I was reading Lesa's post as meaning, *severely* disabled. As in a vegetative state, coma, or otherwise incapable of "normal" human functioning.

If my SO were disabled in a milder capacity than the above, my answer would be a definite "no."

[Cain]

I was reading Lesa's post as meaning, *severely* disabled. As in a vegetative state, coma, or otherwise incapable of "normal" human functioning.

If my SO were disabled in a milder capacity than the above, my answer would be a definite "no."

Even in a coma, I'd have a hard time even considering sleeping with someone else. No matter what happens to my girl medically, I'll never lose my love for her and that won't let me cheat.

And if they are in a coma or vegetative state, how can they give permission?

[starbuck]

Even in a coma, I'd have a hard time even considering sleeping with someone else. No matter what happens to my girl medically, I'll never lose my love for her and that won't let me cheat.

And if they are in a coma or vegetative state, how can they give permission?

They can't. But they can't give anything at that point, much less sex. They can't give love, comfort, support, etc., They can't be a viable partner anymore.

It's an extreme scenario, and I just don't know if I can say I'd be able to stay faithful in that situation. It's laudable that you would though.

[Illusional]

well when you get married to someone, you take an oath that does say through "the good times and the bad" or something along those lines.

i feel that if you mentally can't cope with this and need something sexually, you should divorce that person and then get it..

ironically i don't really care when my friends cheat on their significant other. i usually will give them my full support if that is what they want.

raverboy

[shh!]

The problem I have with this situation is that by marrying someone, you're committing yourself to that one person, no matter what happens. Cheating is cheating. Luckily for us, God gave us hands so that we could fulfill our sexual needs. Women can practically shove anything up that hole of theirs and get off.. and now men have those nifty little Fleshlights.

The point is, it's still cheating. I would never leave my girl if she was disabled and I certainly wouldn't seek another partner. Then again, my relationship isn't based solely on sex.

If you were in a vegetative state, would you really expect your girlfriend to live out the next 60 years of life hugging a vibrator?

[anachronistic]

If you were in a vegetative state, would you really expect your girlfriend to live out the next 60 years of life hugging a vibrator?

Oh man that made me laugh.

Anyway, yes, that's how it is designed to be, right? Take this so called 'religious' sacrament. That's where it comes from. Marriage was at one point sacred, but look what has happened... people are making a mockery out of it all. Nobody's self-disciplined anymore... just can't handle being alone, or can't cope with the idea that the person they've devoted themselves to won't be screwing them anymore. Noooooo, gotta change religion, the same way we had to change the constitution, so that people can live a more 'modern' lifestyle.

Maybe this whole idea of monogamy is just stupid. Maybe it's all a crock of shit. That's why it's hard for me to care anymore.

And if I ever get hooked up to a machine, can I trust someone to pull the plug? Please?

Until death do you part, people. If you can't really make a commitment, then don't make a commitment.

[Cain]

If you were in a vegetative state, would you really expect your girlfriend to live out the next 60 years of life hugging a vibrator?

I don't expect her to do anything. I'm just telling you what I would do if I were in that situation. As was said, if you can't make the commitment to be completely faithful no matter the circumstance, don't get married.

I thought it would be interesting, so I asked my girlfriend what she would do. She said the same thing I said. It wouldn't have bothered me if she said that she wouldn't be able to handle it, and my girl's honest. She won't tell me something just because she thinks I want to hear it.

The point is, sex isn't the only aspect of a relationship. In my opinion, it's a way to be emotionally closer to someone. If you just want to get off, how is it any different than masturbation?

[shh!]

You do it with another person, which is a form of intimacy. I wouldn't expect my husband to sacrifice intimacy on my behalf if I were a vegetable. I would rather he had someone to share his troubles with if he needed it... an external source of support to strengthen him if he were stuck looking at me lying in a bed for the rest of my life.

For the record, not everyone makes the same marital vows. I did not promise to "obey" nor did I say "till death do us part".

[anachronistic]

umm, well i think it's easier for your to deep throat when you're a vegetable.

[Cain]

You do it with another person, which is a form of intimacy. I wouldn't expect my husband to sacrifice intimacy on my behalf if I were a vegetable. I would rather he had someone to share his troubles with if he needed it... an external source of support to strengthen him if he were stuck looking at me lying in a bed for the rest of my life.

As I said, it's easier for me because I view sex differently. If it were any other woman, I'd want to put my clothes on quickly and get the hell out. I don't see how cheating can have clause.

I honestly don't even see how you could have a man supporting you through that and you not end up leaving your vegetable husband eventually for him. Why even allow yourself to be tempted? Women are a lot more emotional and I have a hard time believing that you could have a man supporting you emotionally, being there for you intimately, and you still staying with your husband if he was a vegetable.

Marriage is forever unless one person does something to ruin it. In my opinion, that should never change. If you can't handle it, don't get married.