Is it 'okay' to seek a sex partner if spouse is forever severely disabled/incapable

[shh!]

"Doing it" normally refers to sex, and since this thread's topic is sex, naturally one would assume that is what you were referring to.

Your post quite clearly said you would find a way to do "it" (whatever this conveniently now means to you) with your partner (I take it this means your hypothetical wife, and not an outside partner?). There was no indication that she would actually *want* you crawling on her severely disabled body, or that it would matter to you whether she did or not, but rather a statement that you "expect" her to do the same if you were the one severely disabled. Does she not have a say?

The loss of a limb is not considered "severely disabled". Clearly, we are not picturing the same patient.

Maybe you should aim for a bit more clarity.

[misombra]

i think mish is trying to provoke you, vashhhh.

[shh!]

He's just defensive because I interpreted his poorly-worded post in an unflattering way.

[clearskies]

[QUOTE=lesa;358410]Do you feel something is wrong with doing it?

DISGUSTING ... just horrible lesa.

[Tedel]

Well, Lesa, which part of "until death do you apart" was not clear to you?

Of course, it is wrong, but I must admit that I have not been there and I don't know what will my ultimate decision about it. Hard question, indeed.

[lesa]

Don't put words into my mouth (or letters into my posts) biayetch.

Do you feel something is wrong with doing it?

DISGUSTING ... just horrible lesa.

lol, I forgot what I posted and had to go back and reread my own post.

It may be horrible clearskies, but it also may be reality.

Remember this is not a person that just became incapable, etc....They have been taken cared of by their spouse for several years before even thinking of having a companion (and they have absolutely no intention of leaving their spouse or taking them to a nursing facility for care).

It's usually happens without plan. I know many older women probably would not seek a companion but it seems more difficult for a man especially if he is in his early thirties.

It's very sad and having a companion can be bittersweet I suppose. I have absolutely no clue what I would do.

[clearskies]

Divorce & break up are there... more legal moral options still exist... why will you think of going for such unacceptable ones?

[lesa]

Well, Lesa, which part of "until death do you apart" was not clear to you?

Of course, it is wrong, but I must admit that I have not been there and I don't know what will my ultimate decision about it. Hard question, indeed.

Hey, I'm just wondering like everyone else. I have never thought to do such a thing. Just broading my mind and maybe others along the way.

[lesa]

Divorce & break up are there... more legal moral options still exist... why will you think of going for such unacceptable ones?

I was never thinking of doing this unacceptable act. I was wondering.

Sounds like divorce & break up is more cruel. "until death do us part" but not "in sickness & in health"?

[Aegis]

Divorce & break up are there... more legal moral options still exist... why will you think of going for such unacceptable ones?

Extra-marital affairs aren't illegal, though they're considered immoral to most people visiting this board...but you couple legal & moral together with divorce and break up.

Is it really moral to abandon someone that is completely unable to care for his or herself so that you can enjoy physical pleasures with another? That's what makes the original question tough.

You don't want to leave the one you swore an oath to, but you want sex too. After knowing sex, celibacy is kind of sucky. So it pulls you in opposite directions.

[misombra]

you could always just have them starved to death like teri shiavo's husband.

[Mish]

"Doing it" normally refers to sex, and since this thread's topic is sex, naturally one would assume that is what you were referring to.

Your post quite clearly said you would find a way to do "it" (whatever this conveniently now means to you) with your partner (I take it this means your hypothetical wife, and not an outside partner?). There was no indication that she would actually *want* you crawling on her severely disabled body, or that it would matter to you whether she did or not, but rather a statement that you "expect" her to do the same if you were the one severely disabled. Does she not have a say?

The loss of a limb is not considered "severely disabled". Clearly, we are not picturing the same patient.

Vash, you're still talking out of your ass with you imagined scenarios. I already told you what I meant, I don't need to clarify myself any further. It's your fault that you misinterpreted.

I didn't even read any posts that referred to anyone in a comatose state, I was replying to original poster in regards to partner giving a consent (read: conscious)

Maybe you should aim for a bit more clarity.

Maybe you should aim not to jump to conclusions, then you won't be putting your foot in your mouth as often.

[misombra]

if i was really incapacitated i wouldn't mind.

give me the morphine button and **** my sister for all i care.

[lesa]

if i was really incapacitated i wouldn't mind.

give me the morphine button and **** my sister for all i care.

Oh no! lol

[shh!]

I didn't even read any posts that referred to anyone in a comatose state, I was replying to original poster in regards to partner giving a consent (read: conscious)

He's just defensive because I interpreted his poorly-worded post in an unflattering way.

^^ This still applies.

And BTW - there is a quote button in the lower right hand corner for use when you aren't referring to the post before yours... Of course, I know you already know this, since in all other cases you have used it when it when you aren't referring to the post immediately above yours or when it may not be clear who you are talking to (but of course not in THIS case). :rolling eyes: