When you have a "thing" with a friend..

[Cain]

so let me get this straight cain. what you're saying is, this girls a slut because she kissed sammy?

I want to shoot you.

[Cain]

Ohfercrissakes Cain, like how you can control yourself calling someone a slut who has merely exchanged a kiss w/a friend?

Part of the growing experience is going through these experiences so you can learn the benefit of self-control. Ppls hearts DO get broken, kiddo, however much you'd like to insulate yourself from it by hiding behind terms like 'slut', etc. You are setting up a circular argument, one that you are currently experiencing yourself. Tho its a good idea in theory (and one I agree with) don't be a hypocrite, young man.

I'm done.

From now one, there's no limitations.

To hell with it, Sammy. Go out, get drunk with her, and have a nice f*ck.

Hell, go find some other unavailable women and test the strength of their relationship too.

[SamT]

Thats some great control your showing there..

calm down!

[SamT]

Ok, thanks for some of the advice guys! Really helps.

Yes she is 20 aswell.
And with regards to sharing her personal issues about her bf with me? Well yeah, she has opened up to me about everything..he doesnt treat her amazingly sometimes. I think theyre going through a good phase right now..so im just letting it go.

She's shared everything with me down to her Ex's and so have I with her.

I think she thinks of me as one of her close friends that truly cares about her, and fully understands her.

p.s. Enough name calling already!

[lesa]

p.s. Enough name calling already!

I agree..I don't respect a man that has to name call other people all the time. What is it really saying about his character is what it makes me wonder? Just my observation of people in real life who do it often. Not good.

Love can make us all foolish sometimes. Do deny that is foolish, too.

[IndiReloaded]

So Sam, you've gotten enough advice now... what are your thoughts on what you want to do?

[lesa]

I think she was meant to stay in the dating only phase of the relationship and probably got caught into starting a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship by going with the flow. She wants to date and decide among several men and that is fine IMO.

It's not a great feeling when a man assume that I am his girl and is ready to call me names if I start to back off from the relationship.

Sam, you probably have a good chance of something since there seems to be chemistry. Don't cause anything that I like to call drama.

[Cain]

Just know that if she leaves him for you, she'll leave you for someone else.

[lesa]

Just know that if she leaves him for you, she'll leave you for someone else.

That can be very true. If she leaves him very easily then she may do the same to you. Just like people who cheat on their spouse for another will probably cheat on the another person with someone else. It's very complicated getting into situations like this one. I prefer not to.

[IndiReloaded]

I think Lesa is on the money with this. This sounds like a girl who should be dating around & checking out her options. This means, Sam, that you are likely going to be one of many. So, in that sense, Cain is also right. If you are aiming to replace her current relationship w/an exclusive one of your own, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.

[SamT]

So Sam, you've gotten enough advice now... what are your thoughts on what you want to do?

Hmm well i know what i should do, but i dont see any way of that being possible.

So you guys think this chemistry between us is a good thing right? In the sense of there maybe being something more between us in the future...

I know we shouldnt be txting so much. But its just hard when i like to hear from her so much! I mean, we have toned them down a lot since the beginnning, to just some every other day.
As for flirting and spending so much alone time together, well...she has told me that she'd told herself off, and that she feels so guilty about crossing so many boundaries that maybe we shouldnt be so close to eachother on nights out.
I have a feeling she will try and keep her feelings from me now. And she's confessed in the past that she's tried telling herself that im not that great etc. Although, i don't think that worked for her :S
What do you guys think? Does trying to stop yourself from doing something make it harder, because "you want something you can;t have"? Or trying to put your feelings to the back of your head, does that make them stronger?

Anyway, yeah spening less 'alone' time together IS the right thing...it's just a bit upsetting for me. lol and i don't know why!
Also, will less time together make her miss me more? I mean especially if im with other people and girls?

[SamT]

Ok, as for the whole dating around thing? Nah this isnt what this is, honestly. It might sound like it.

But im very sure that she hasnt got another guy like me on the go...

And technically she's not leaving her bf very easily..is she?! I mean, she's fighting for it, and crying her eyes out for it being so hard!

[Cain]

Ok, as for the whole dating around thing? Nah this isnt what this is, honestly. It might sound like it.

But im very sure that she hasnt got another guy like me on the go...

And technically she's not leaving her bf very easily..is she?! I mean, she's fighting for it, and crying her eyes out for it being so hard!

And no matter how much you want to think that you will be that guy that she stays with, that's most likely not how it will be. There will always be a guy out there that is better than you in every way and if she finds it, she'll take it if that's what her history is.

[SamT]

Honestly Cain, why come on here to try and be negative about everything?! I get what your saying, but why are you being so bitter about it?

To be honest, your just making it harder for me to deal with, because your so pesimistic.

Have you had a similar situation? And has that happened to you?
If so, please share..

[IndiReloaded]

Hahahah, Cain she's 20... what else should her 'history' be?

Sam, the genie is out of the bottle hun. No putting it back. Its neither good nor bad, it just is. Attraction happens. But I do think you're being strung along by her atm. Just take the edge off the situation by going and having some fun with a girl that is actually available. Geeze, you are so young, this is NOT likely the girl you are going to marry. Get some perspective here.