And yet again...

[IndiReloaded]

Like I said, she thinks that because she's depressed right now, she's not able to make me happy.

And this kind of belief indicates counselling is needed, absolutely.

Use the time to focus on your own studies then, Cain. Its not like you don't have enough on your own plate right now. You can't do anything right now but worry needlessly. Close the door on that room for a little while, I know you know how to do this. This too shall pass.

[Cain]

And this kind of belief indicates counselling is needed, absolutely.

Use the time to focus on your own studies then, Cain. Its not like you don't have enough on your own plate right now. You can't do anything right now but worry needlessly. Close the door on that room for a little while, I know you know how to do this. This too shall pass.

Like I said, I hope so.

Give me your opinion on what I posted a few posts up, please. About the flowers (not for the gf).

[misombra]

maybe she just wants to be free.

[Cain]

maybe she just wants to be free.

Once again, she knows that I'd accept it and move on with my life if that was the case. She knows that all she has to do is tell me she doesn't love me and I'm gone.

And she's very blunt and honest... if she really just wanted to be free and not be in a relationship, she'd tell me. Right now, it just seems as if she needs to fix a couple things, but she needs to understand, if she wants to save us, that I'll be there to help her work through it.

[misombra]

maybe freedom for her doesn't mean you moving on with your life and not include her in it. maybe she doesn't want to carry the weight of your emotional stuff or be on a pedestal as being the only person who could make you not be such a cold person.

[Charlie Boy II]

Right now, it just seems as if she needs to fix a couple things, but she needs to understand, if she wants to save us, that I'll be there to help her work through it.

That's dumpee talk if I ever heard it. Actually I think she needs to understand that you have your own life that functions well enough without her in it. It'll take the pressure off her and make you look more attractive.

[Cain]

That's dumpee talk if I ever heard it. Actually I think she needs to understand that you have your own life that functions well enough without her in it. It'll take the pressure off her and make you look more attractive.

No. It's me saying that we are/were in a relationship and that she doesn't need to handle every single thing that comes to her emotionally on her own.

[Cain]

maybe freedom for her doesn't mean you moving on with your life and not include her in it. maybe she doesn't want to carry the weight of your emotional stuff or be on a pedestal as being the only person who could make you not be such a cold person.

All she did was start helping me break down my wall. I started doing the rest of it on my own. If there were issues like this, though, I wish she'd have told me when they started happening and not at the very end. She knows that communication is important so I don't know why she'd hold stuff back.

[misombra]

well sometimes when people are going through a lot they can't necessarily articulate what they're thinking. that's why she needs a break. so she can get it all straightened out.

if you're interested in working it out eventually, then you'll have to be easy, and flow with the breeze, like a leaf. don't be rigid and hold tight to rules like "we have to do this" or "we have to do that." that is probably what she needs a break from the most. obligations.

don't make her wish she would've just kept her mouth shut just to not have to deal with the pressure.

[Cain]

well sometimes when people are going through a lot they can't necessarily articulate what they're thinking. that's why she needs a break. so she can get it all straightened out.

if you're interested in working it out eventually, then you'll have to be easy, and flow with the breeze, like a leaf. don't be rigid and hold tight to rules like "we have to do this" or "we have to do that." that is probably what she needs a break from the most. obligations.

don't make her wish she would've just kept her mouth shut just to not have to deal with the pressure.

Then what do you suggest?

How long do I just sit around and do nothing?

The problem is that while she needs a break in order to situate herself, I need an idea on what is going on so that I can deal with this as well.

[misombra]

the only thing you can do is make it worse.

inaction is necessary sometimes.

at least wait a few more days for emotions to settle.

[Junket]

Dude, I was in an LDR for over a year, and I must say, the lack of real physical contact really f*cks with a relationship. I almost bailed out on my girlfriend several times because it felt like our relationship was at a dead end.

How long before you guys can stop the LDR shit?

[Cain]

the only thing you can do is make it worse.

inaction is necessary sometimes.

at least wait a few more days for emotions to settle.

I've already concluded that I was going to wait a few days before speaking to her about all of this.

I can try inaction, but that does nothing to help me here either. I'm not going to go weeks and weeks with no idea what is going on or where we stand.

[Cain]

Dude, I was in an LDR for over a year, and I must say, the lack of real physical contact really f*cks with a relationship. I almost bailed out on my girlfriend several times because it felt like our relationship was at a dead end.

How long before you guys can stop the LDR shit?

It won't end completely until March, but we've been dealing with it for over a year so far.

We see each other about once every 2 or 3 weeks. We were also about to enter the stretch of time where we got to spend more time together. Our visits were normally 2-3 days, which neither of us liked very much. They always ended too soon. But, next week she was going to be coming here for a week and then after my exams, I was going to be spending about three weeks there in September... so she was looking forward to the 4 out of 5 weeks together... to offset the lack of time we've been able to spend together before.

I just assume that the emotion of the friend, grad school, her insecurities, and the LDR just stressed her out.

[misombra]

eh. when i was younger i would date guys that would say things like that about me when i would break it off with them.

"oh she's depressed, her father was absent, this and that or the other is wrong with her."

when in reality it was just that i didn't want to be attached to anybody.