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Thread: Friends w/ benefits...older woman neighbor

  1. #1
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    Friends w/ benefits...older woman neighbor

    I just got out of having serious feelings for someone so i'm not jumping into that right now.

    I have a neighbor down the street i've been talking w/ lately. Shes not the hottest chick but shes not bad. Shes 48 but doesn't look it. She asks me tons of questions, acts mega interested, she remembers everything i say from conversation to conversation so its nice having the attention.

    Shes single w/ no kids, lives by herself...i live in a nice neighborhood and i never see her go to work so idk whats up with all that.

    But i think what turns me on is shes petite, shes maybe 5'0...maybe not.

    I'd kind've like a friendship with benefits but not a relationship.

    I gave her an open ended invite to come with me and my pup to the lake, she agreed. Some girls i know said that wasn't really making a move and it was too discreet and trying to put the ball in her court.

    How should I proceed?

    I don't have her # and don't feel that comfy going up to her door and knocking asking her to come do this or that...but we see each other about everyday and talk regular.


    CLIFFS
    - 48 year old, i'm wanting friend w/ benefits
    - not wanting relationship
    - shes petite, it turns me on
    - opened ended invite for her to join me and my pup at the lake some time...she agreed
    - girl friends told me it was too discreet and i wasn't really making a move
    - see each other regular, but don't have her # and i don't feel comfortable walking up to her door just yet
    - how to proceed?

  2. #2
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    Aren't there any petite young girls out there?

    Oh, well... I guess you should just carry on like you would if she wasn't as old as your mom, but then clarify before you do the deed that you are only looking to gain experience. I bet she can teach you a lot.

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    bro, I saw your same thread on bb.com. That's awesome. Now for some advice: ask for her number when she hangs out with you at the lake. If you haven't already set a date, then do this. You need to gradually start dropping hints that you are interested in her. Right now, she probably only sees you as an attractive young man who wouldn't be interested in a woman as old as she. Let her know she's hot. Flirt with her subtly. I was friends with benefits with a 40 yr old. It took a year of gradually making moves on her before we hooked up, but it was well worth it. She's the best sex I ever had.

  4. #4
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    well i'm not hoping to invest a lot of energy into this. I really don't want to get attached. I just spent a year investing in someone and its looking like it was all for nothing. I'm just trying to find a friend plus a little extra.

    bb gave me good advice, but loveforum is a diff crowd

    i haven't set a date, it was more of a you should come down with me and my pup some time type thing. open ended.

    next time i see her i'll bring it back up and get more specific on a time.

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    it shouldn't take you a year. The 40 yr old I hooked up with started as my client (being a personal trainer has its perks). I had to proceed with caution b/c I didn't want to lose my job. It's really not that hard. You just have to be confident and straight forward with her. You need to understand that you're not trying to pick up a 20 yr old girl but a mature woman. The same rules don't apply.

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    In the last 10 years, I've done two neighbors. It was before my self-imposed dry spell. My advice: do it. Nothing more satisfying than driving down your block on your way home and knowing that its your kingdom Lasting memories. Sort of like Judge Reinhold driving into Ridgmont High and seeing some high school classmate and saying, "Denise, I make you see God!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by shh! View Post
    Aren't there any petite young girls out there?
    Nope, they are a dying breed.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

  8. #8
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    How's he going to work it, conversationally, guys?

    I don't know how willing a 48 year old woman would be for an open relationship like that... most single gals that age seem to be trying to settle down. Maybe not this one though.

  9. #9
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    I don't think so. 48 year old women still want sex, still think (some) young men are attractive, and certainly DON'T want a regular relationship with one because of the inequality in personal development. If this woman is attractive, she is probably single by choice, and may well be interested in a no-strings-attached sexual relationship. That is what I plan to do when my husband kicks the bucket.
    Last edited by shh!; 19-08-08 at 11:24 PM.

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    Sounds like trouble to me...but then again, what do I know?
    Serious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anachronistic View Post
    How's he going to work it, conversationally, guys?

    I don't know how willing a 48 year old woman would be for an open relationship like that... most single gals that age seem to be trying to settle down. Maybe not this one though.
    SHH! is so right. Women want to get their leg over, too. I see it at the neighborhood swimming pool...the place is thickly populated with cougars. Some are real dogs, but the teenaged life guards seem to be getting it regular-like.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CAM View Post
    SHH! is so right. Women want to get their leg over, too. I see it at the neighborhood swimming pool...the place is thickly populated with cougars. Some are real dogs, but the teenaged life guards seem to be getting it regular-like.
    I can tell you quite honestly that I don't know anyone my age (late 30s) who would be interested in a teenaged boy. Young men in their 20s? Sure, but not kids.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shh! View Post
    I can tell you quite honestly that I don't know anyone my age (late 30s) who would be interested in a teenaged boy. Young men in their 20s? Sure, but not kids.
    You'd be surprised what goes on in this town...its crazy. Is it any wonder that finding a normal relationship is next to impossible?

  14. #14
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    she is always @ home, she doesn't really go out from what i can tell. So, she doesn't put herself in much of a position to be pursued by random men out and about it seems.

    Maybe she is single by choice? All i know is she has money from somewhere cause i never see her going to work unless she works at home. I haven't asked where she works, but i stay in a nice upscale neighborhood and she owns her own house, drives an expensive car and i never see her go to work.

    She told me she had no kids but we haven't gotten into past relationships or whether she had been married before.

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    Yeah, dude!

    Put it to that cougar!

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