Get her back strategy advice type books...

[survivor08]

Things that don't work getting the ex girlfriend/wife back
1.Acting in Desperation
2.No sending cards, flowers, chocolates, cards...
3. tallking about relationship
4. Calling, checking in, texting
5. Constalling telling the girl you love her

Solution:
Play on the emotional hot buttons...
Be emotionally in control (don't beg...don't be a puppy)


OK these are obvious actions that turn the girl away...DO THEY? These guys on the web are selling e books and stuff for people to buy on advice for how to get your ex back... for the record, I am too cheap to drop $50 on these things...rather get relationship books at Barnes and Nobles.


What is your opinion on these books? Do they have good advice? or a waste of money?

[misombra]

i'd say what you posted is about right.

constant calling and saying i love you and bugging and being pitiful and pathetic about it is the surest way to get a girl gone.

[Cain]

Most of the ebooks are trying to tell you obvious things. People are too complicated for an ebook to be able to generalize a solution to every breakup. It's all common sense. Obviously being desperate and begging isn't going to win her back, but did you really need a book to tell you that? Obviously buying her shit won't win her back unless she's a gold digger... but you knew this.

These books are a way for desperate men and women to make the sellers money. They play on their emotions to try and assure them that following those steps will win their "love" back.

I looked at this stuff.. didn't buy anything. It was a waste, IMO. And to be honest, I think that some of those approaches won't work. For example, one approach is to just be a success. Drop contact, don't be her friend, and make her miss you. The problem is that if the man or woman is stubborn and has friends, family, school, or work to occupy their free time, they won't be thinking about you and a lack of contact will do nothing except let him or her put the space that you don't want between you two. It's easier for them to get over the relationship that way.

I think I have a better chance getting my ex back if I keep casual conversation, show that I'm outgoing with and without her, and avoid any stupid little arguments. Casual conversation every day or two isn't what those guides recommend, but like I said, most of what is in the guides is common sense stuff and what they think will convince people to buy.

You know your ex more than some ebook writer does. You have to decide the best way to approach it, but just be careful. Don't let your emotions dictate what you do because it will usually be wrong. There's so much I want to tell my ex, but I'm not, because it's not the right time.

You'll figure it out.

[Cain]

i'd say what you posted is about right.

constant calling and saying i love you and bugging and being pitiful and pathetic about it is the surest way to get a girl gone.

I wanted to mention this, but I forgot until I read this post.

Do not keep saying you love her. I did that for the first two days but have sense stopped because it will make things awkward. I'm sure that we'll say it when the visit happens because emotions will be running wild, but that's it. Occasionally, under the right circumstances, it's fine. But all the time, no.

[lesa]

OK these are obvious actions that turn the girl away...DO THEY?

I don’t have a strategy to get them back or whether those ebooks are helpful. I do know that what you listed sounds about right.

Also appearing successful and in control emotionally does work for the typical person in my opinion. I know this from observations and personal experiences from each side. Dropping contact and not becoming just friends does have its benefit but if they are very stubborn or have too much pride it will not work and probably won’t work anyway. You can’t really make someone get back with you…it’s already a rocky relationship for some reason. I can tell you that anyone who tries to do what you listed will have very little chance of getting back together with an emotionally healthy individual. Begging and acting desperate with too much contact may work if the other person does not have too much self esteem but if an emotionally healthy person takes you back with pleading as a strategy, the relationship will not last long or just end up in the circle of drama (my new favorite word ).

[Cain]

Dropping contact and not becoming just friends does have its benefit but if they are very stubborn or have too much pride it will not work

Exactly, which is why I adjusted my strategy with my ex.

Basically, any strategy you use should be adjusted by you. These books are all generalized.

[survivor08]

Also appearing successful and in control emotionally does work for the typical person in my opinion. I know this from observations and personal experiences from each side. Dropping contact and not becoming just friends does have its benefit but if they are very stubborn or have too much pride it will not work and probably won’t work anyway.

I don't need ebooks per say, I was curious about the information outhere...which apparently it is big business...

My ex has as much as pride as I've seen a person have. Which is not a good thing...She lets her pride get the better of her sometimes and looses the ability to make more reasonable decisions...

Staying in touch, keeping conversation light, letting them know things are better for you are good ways to build curiousity. Curiosity is good...it sparks an interest on their part. What am I doing to spark curiousity and heal my broken heart? I am looking for a new job 2 hours away....lol....start a new life and a new job...that out to fix it...

[Cain]

Staying in touch, keeping conversation light, letting them know things are better for you are good ways to build curiousity. Curiosity is good...it sparks an interest on their part. What am I doing to spark curiousity and heal my broken heart? I am looking for a new job 2 hours away....lol....start a new life and a new job...that out to fix it...

If you're looking to get her back, don't make her think that your life is better without her in it. If you do, she might not want to get back with you and spoil you "good life" even if she wanted to.

[lastwish]

How to get an ex back help book doesn't do much because everyone is different. A book may say don't beg, don't be a puppy, etc...but the truth is...everyone is different. Who knows...maybe that ex might come back if you beg. Its different in every situation. Not all self help books are useless though. Books that tell you how to move on or books that help you change YOURSELF...those might be helpful. Books that tell you how to control OTHERS like how to make your ex want you again...those are useless.

[Cain]

How to get an ex back help book doesn't do much because everyone is different. A book may say don't beg, don't be a puppy, etc...but the truth is...everyone is different. Who knows...maybe that ex might come back if you beg. Its different in every situation. Not all self help books are useless though. Books that tell you how to move on or books that help you change YOURSELF...those might be helpful. Books that tell you how to control OTHERS like how to make your ex want you again...those are useless.

Any ex that comes back due to begging isn't coming back because she wants to. She's coming back because she feels guilty or sorry for the other person. That won't last.

[lastwish]

Any ex that comes back due to begging isn't coming back because she wants to. She's coming back because she feels guilty or sorry for the other person. That won't last.

I disagree. I wanted my ex to beg me to come back after I broke up with him but he didn't. So, I moved on.

[Cain]

I disagree. I wanted my ex to beg me to come back after I broke up with him but he didn't. So, I moved on.

Ok, fine. How about this.

Any ex that comes back due to begging really wants a pussy male and is only looking to feel validated in the relationship.

Why in the hell would you want some guy to beg you to come back with him? Is begging really that attractive to you? I sure hope your man never has to defend you... Only pussies beg.

EDIT: And why would you want a guy to basically kill every bit of pride and self respect he has to beg you to get back with him?

[lesa]

I disagree. I wanted my ex to beg me to come back after I broke up with him but he didn't. So, I moved on.

Why on earth would you want your ex to beg to come back to you? Do you want to feel a certain way if he does that. Sounds like he had too much respect for himself to scoop down to that level.

Why did you not beg to get back or just call him?

[Cain]

Why on earth would you want your ex to beg to come back to you? Do you want to feel a certain way if he does that. Sounds like he had too much respect for himself to scoop down to that level.

Why did you not beg to get back or just call him?

It just sounds like she wanted validation. She wanted him to lose all self respect for himself so that she could feel wanted. If a guy doesn't beg, he obviously doesn't want her... amirite?

[starbuck]

Yeah that must be an ego thang.

Or else her ex did something so bad that she'd get perverse pleasure out of hearing him beg.