Am I just paranoid/insecure?

[someyoungguy]

There is this girl that I have been seeing for about a year. Before me, she was dating someone who used to be our mutual friend. Some things happened that got us pretty upset at him and she basically said we shouldn't be friends with him any more.

There have been a lot of times where I thought she may still have feelings for him. Basically, a lot of inconsistencies in what she says. Ex: She comes back from a trip and I take a look at the pictures shes taken. There was a pic of a car very similar to his and I wondered why she even took it. The first time i asked her , she said it was because she used to like that car. The other time I brought it up, she said it was because the car isn't very common there . Obviously, I thought she took the pic just because it reminded her of him. Another time when I was with her, the guy was calling her, but she said to me she wasn't gonna pick it up because he probably just wants to pick up the dvd she borrowed from him. A few days later, she picks up the phone when he calls, except I wasn't there at the time. She said she picked up the phone because...she thought he probably just wanted to pick up the dvds... what the hell? I don't know... and then, we argued about it and she said 'do i have to be consistent with what i say'?

Why wouldn't it be important, right?

Fast forward to present: she bumped into him on the street recently and had a little chat. She tells me she's not really mad at him any more and just wants to be friends. She's has been telling me she needed an oil change for a while now, but I've put it off. So, she hints it to him that she needs her oil changed or something. A day later, she asks me not to get mad at her for something shes about to tell me. She tells me that he called her and asked if she wanted her oil changed and agreed to it, but she would have to pick him up to go get the oil so he can change it. she agreed to.

Why would she even let this situation happen? If she knows I'm going to get mad, why can't she just avoid it altogether? We've had arguments in the past regarding him. I think the guy still likes her, but she always argues that if she doesn't like him, what's the problem? Is it wrong for me to feel uncomfortable when she is around him? Am I just jealous/insecure??

Also, she's cheated before in one of her past relationships, but not with me.

[RelationshipBud]

I don't think you are being insecure or irrational.

The circumstances do appear suspiciously "coincidental" don't they?

If this has become a problem for you, I suggest that you sit down with her one-on-one and tell her completely how you feel. Don't get offensive or sarcastic or raise your tone at all...Just state how you feel and ask her how she feels about the situation.

If she says "you're over-reacting, he is just a friend" tell her that you won't be able to deal with that.

She needs to decide who she values more, you or the other guy...Because it sounds like there isn't enough room for both of you in her life.

Good Luck,

Relationship-Buddy