Open Relationships

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Oh and as for the marriage being great now, isnt it a tad bit sucky to know that the reason your wife is happy now because she has the ability to mess around with another man? I would feel a way to know Im not the reason my husband is not happy, but another girl is. Idk, maybe Im too young to understand this kinda thing, but it is really weird to me.

[shh!]

As I said, discretion is the norm, and I don't think finding out an extramarital affair would be any harder on a kid than permanently not having their parent around, assuming decent parenting skills.

[sands]

There are some good points that have been raised. We're enjoying the debate here.
I absolutely agree that we have to be discreet. The family and kids especially must never find out whats going on. Its a private thing.
We love each other very much, so much that we can admit to each other when its gone wrong and what we have to do to fix it. I could have gone to one of those tacky wife-swap forums but I'm hoping for a more serious debate here.

[Henry123]

...
Has anyone else out there currently in an open relationship and how does it work for you ? What rules have you established ?

Best wishes
S & S

Not me but heres a suggestion.
Both partner should like the new person. If one doesnt then its a 'No go'.

[Henry123]

...If your marriage is strong enough you can be honest enough to admit when its going wrong and what needs to be done to fix it.
...

What if there is nothing to fix?
People change over time. Personalities change.

Alot of people stay together for convient sake but they are no longer in love with each other. The concept of "forever love" is more often than not a delusion fed by movies, magazines, the media, parental upbringing etc.

[sands]

What if there is nothing to fix?
People change over time. Personalities change.

Alot of people stay together for convient sake but they are no longer in love with each other. The concept of "forever love" is a delusion fed by movies, magazines, the media etc.

Henry your absolutely correct. We could have stayed together unhappily for the sake of the kids, or convention, or for 100 other reasons but you only live once, who wants to be miserable.
I'm hoping that someone else will join the debate who is also in an open relationship.

Stu

[Henry123]

Henry your absolutely correct. We could have stayed together unhappily for the sake of the kids, or convention, or for 100 other reasons but you only live once, who wants to be miserable.
I'm hoping that someone else will join the debate who is also in an open relationship.

Stu

I certainly dont oppose people who have open relationships. After all its really your life and you should run it anyway you want to.

I believe the concept of "marriage" is nothing but an artifical social construct.

Over the years I have known alot of families and their parents etc. who stay together not because they love each other but because of the kids or because of the house or other conviences. Its a reality many dont want to admit to. Why waste your life being unhappy.

[ecojeanne]

Oh, please. This has been going on since the beginning of time. Europeans have completely normalized it.

I have no opinion on the subject at hand….Lol! I cant believe you just wrote that! That’s so funny….shh! I’m getting the feeling you don’t like Europeans that much haha….c’mon everyone knows it happens all over the world in all cultures……

[shh!]

Did you misunderstand? or are you being deliberately obtuse? I said they normalized it - meaning it is not villianized the way it is in the states. Certainly it happens everywhere.

Jeez, my family is Irish. We aren't all so thick in the head. Now run along and pester someone else.

[ecojeanne]

Did you misunderstand? or are you being deliberately obtuse? I said they normalized it - meaning it is not villianized the way it is in the states. Certainly it happens everywhere.

Jeez, my family is Irish. We aren't all so thick in the head. Now run along and pester someone else.

but its not normalised haha shh! you are funny

[Petit Papillon]

Well Europeans didn't normalize it. It's not normal in Poland,Germany,France,Netherlands,Belgium,England as far as I know...

Well I understand ,as someone has said, that open relationship may be able to people who are singels,but in a marriage? With kids? It's ****ing crazy. Marriage is for two people,not for three or more. Don't say You love each other,because it's not love. It's just a physical attraction.Or even not.I even don't know how to call it... Honestly,for me it's sick.If my husband would sleep with other woman I would be really hurted...

[ecojeanne]

Well Europeans didn't normalize it. It's not normal in Poland,Germany,France,Netherlands,Belgium,England
..

and many more

[Petit Papillon]

and many more

Yeah I said "as far as I know "

[shh!]

"Public attitudes toward the morality of extramarital affairs in the four Western countries polled show great variation. [...] Forty-seven percent of the French, 35% of Germans, and 18% of Britons believe that married men and women having an affair is morally acceptable, compared with 7% of Americans and 4% of religious Americans."

[url]http://www.gallup.com/poll/107518/Religious-Americans-European-Muslims-Common-Ground.aspx[/url]

I'm not saying they LIKE it, but they ARE more tolerant in Europe. I'm surprised you are arguing about this... many Europeans pride themselves on not being as "puritanical" as Americans.

[Petit Papillon]

"Public attitudes toward the morality of extramarital affairs in the four Western countries polled show great variation. [...] Forty-seven percent of the French, 35% of Germans, and 18% of Britons believe that married men and women having an affair is morally acceptable, compared with 7% of Americans and 4% of religious Americans."

[url]http://www.gallup.com/poll/107518/Religious-Americans-European-Muslims-Common-Ground.aspx[/url]

I'm not saying they LIKE it, but they ARE more tolerant in Europe. I'm surprised you are arguing about this... many Europeans pride themselves on not being as "puritanical" as Americans.

Well so it would be better for Your knowledge to live in Europe for about 10 or 15 years to know that it's not normal to have an affair here.And people don't tolerate it at all.Who did those statistics? A guy behind the desk,he even never been to Europe?