Fiance's ex g/f

[sillygirl08]

Ok so i've been with my fiance now for 5 1/2 years. I heard him telling his friend last night that his ex g/f from 6 years ago left a letter in his mailbox saying that if he wanted to talk about there past relationship to give her a call. Well he said he didnt call her he just ripped it up. But he found that letter 2 months ago and never told me until I over heard him telling his friend about it last night. He said he didnt want to tell me because he knew it would make me mad and it was irrelevant to tell me. Do you all fell he should of told me?? or i'm i just over reacting.. any advice would be great!!

[misombra]

it's kinda weird that he didn't tell you and that he's telling his friend about it two months later.

i wouldn't call it a reason to break up, but i'd call it something that wouldn't hurt to ask about.

[sillygirl08]

He had a bit to drink last night and he talks alot after a few drinks i think it just slipped out.. not sure if he intended to say it.. which makes it worse...when i questioned him about it his excuse is just "didnt want to make you mad." The even worse part is this girl is friends with the neighbors up the hill (we live in the country) and there's a little bridge between the neighbors house and ours. There is a field there in between but when we look out our window we see this bridge perfectly. Well for about the last 6 months on friday afternoons she is always playing on the bridge with her son. I cant say get the heck off the bridge and leave because i dont own it and she does know the neighbors. But it's like she sits out there just hoping she will see us.

[misombra]

how does he treat you aside from this incident?

[sillygirl08]

Besides this incident he's a great guy. Never cheated on me (that i know of and ive never had my doubts) he is great with my son i have a little boy by another man but he treats him like his own. He has never physically abused me. Has a great job... honestly a great man..

[lesa]

No I do not feel he had to tell you. However, it is weird that he told his friends but it's probably 'guy talk'....nothing you would say to your lover.

Ex: "Hey man, my ex just called me. She sounded really wasted haha."

"Really Joe?. Well my ex of 6 years sent me a letter two months ago asking about a relationship. haha."

Drink Drink...talk talk.

No big deal

[agatha]

He should be honest enough to tell you about that matter. And it really hurts because you heard it from his friend not directly from him.

[1averagejoe]

He should have been honest and just told you about it. I mean it's not like he asked for the letter from her or contacted her.

I think it's harmless other than the fact that he didn't tell you. He probably just didn't want to bring up the fact of his ex with you. He probably didn't want her to have anything to do with your relationship, even something like a little letter like that. And I agree that it was probably guy talk and a bit of alcohol that made it slip out.

I think you should tell him that you're not mad at him but a bit disappointed that he didn't tell you. He should be able to tell you things without worrying that you'll get mad. Which you should not have gotten if he did show/tell you about the letter.

[klickaroos]

Just think that your guy is no longer interested in any girl period then just enjoy the moments with him. Don't start to ruin your relayionship with him...don't want to read threads that "they should have donee this and that + huhuhu. We girls can handle everything because we're stronger than men

[bluesummer]

I would just tell him that you would appreciate more open communication with him in the future about things like this. I don't think guys naturally assume they have to talk to you about everything......they tend to bottle things up more than women, and then occasionally spill it when they've had a few. It's not entirely harmful behaviour, but it can lead to arguments now and then. Just ask him to be honest with you, and assure him you'll not get mad. I think if he knows he can tell you stuff like this that you'll keep a cool head, he won't hesitate to do so.

As for the ex-gf, don't worry about her. Honestly, she must be a pretty odd woman to want to try and out-of-the-blue revive things with an ex from six years ago. Yikes.