Sad, Angry , and have completely lost hope

[dejectedartist]

was rejected today. No surprise, I can live with it. But I honestly thought this was going to work out this time.

I'm the typical nice guy. I can't flirt for shit and my confidence is nearly none existant, and when those fleeting oppertunites to come along where I'm stupid enough to beleive I've find someone who finds me the least bit desireable, I put all my heart and emotion into it.

But girls seem to dispise me for this. It's the only way I can describe it. O hsure they're amused by it at first, then they grow tired of your doting, tender nature and fling you aside like a used condom left-over from the sex you're never going to have.

I just don't understand it. You women out there spend your lives bitching about how you can never meet a sensitive guy, yet even when you're surrounded by them you still prefer to go for the macho ass-holes who look at women the same way trucker look at there next cheese-burger at the drive-thru.

Youl'd rather take the time to make a romantic gentalmen out of a total jerk, but won't even give nice-guys like me the time of day.

So it will only be around this time that they start to look our way, not becuase they want us, but becuase we're the only ones who still desire them.

I am so angry right now. I'm so angry I don't know whether to scream, curse, cry or puke. I honestly have come to a point in my life where I beleive that I will never find companionship.

not sex, but companionship, some to love and to be love by. Someone to share myself with completely.

Stupid, I know, but what the **** am I supposed to say? Those are the things I want in my life and yet every cosmic power that's got its all-powerful thumb in this disgusting shit-pile we call an existance, seems hell-bent on making sure that I end up dying alone.

I met a girl and I fell in love. I though what I felt for her meant something, becuase it was unlike any other feeling I had felt in my life.

I hate life for how much of a struggle it is for me, and I hate myself for not being what others want.

I've lost all hope this day, and quite honestl;y I don't know why I even continue to bother.

the answere?

Becuase I'm retarded enough to hold on to that tiny sliver of hope that I may find someone, but I'm not holding my breath.

When I do it'll probably involve a plastic bag and a rubber-band

'm an introvert alright?

I don't get out often, and it's a ****ing climb-up Mt. Everest whenever I try to branch out and poke my head out of its shelf. It's hard for me to relate to anyone even those that would be considered my peers

I often find myself stradling the various social boarders and finding no acceptance in either one them.

As far as girls go...... what can I say. I try to be kind and tender, the loving sensetive type that they're always bitching about not having. But obviously that's not what they're looking for.

I find out about them, figure out what they like and try to work with that.
What the **** else can I say? I don't have the self-esteem to talk to a girl with an 'I don't care what she thinks of me additude.'

Sometimes I think I'm too emotional and too sensitive for my own good, but hey if a girl wants me to piss on her face after spending an evening verbally abusing her, hey I can change my ways! I can be an insensetive duche-bag too.

[IndiReloaded]

Oi! Dejected!

Not all women are assholes, tho there are some out there. Just like not all men are assholes. Finding the gems in the rockpile is the same problem for BOTH sexes.

You can't make an omlette without breaking a few eggs, right? Instead of bitching about this...bitch. Learn from her. Say to yourself 'thanks babe, for the lesson' and get out there and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. This is clearly needed b/c what you are doing right now isn't working. I wouldn't advise becoming a total asshole, tho perhaps you could use some advice on confidence and assertiveness.

There are LOTS of young males here in various stages of your problem. Some thinking exactly like you, and some who DID but have managed to work through the problem & gone on to find very nice partners for themselves.

Don't give up, buddy. If you do, then you HAVE lost. Chin up.

[starbuck]

Dejected,
If a girl goes out with an asshole, this really says alot more about her mental state than your attractiveness. Low self esteem often clouds this type of woman from seeing the guy as "jerky." Plus, some girls are shallow. As are some guys. Let the shallow, naive ones go have each other. It might take a little longer, but with some patience, you will find a girl who has higher standards for herself and would not date a jerky guy.

[Arrow]

was rejected today. No surprise, I can live with it. But I honestly thought this was going to work out this time.

I'm the typical nice guy. I can't flirt for shit and my confidence is nearly none existant, and when those fleeting oppertunites to come along where I'm stupid enough to beleive I've find someone who finds me the least bit desireable, I put all my heart and emotion into it.

But girls seem to dispise me for this. It's the only way I can describe it. O hsure they're amused by it at first, then they grow tired of your doting, tender nature and fling you aside like a used condom left-over from the sex you're never going to have.

I just don't understand it. You women out there spend your lives bitching about how you can never meet a sensitive guy, yet even when you're surrounded by them you still prefer to go for the macho ass-holes who look at women the same way trucker look at there next cheese-burger at the drive-thru.

Youl'd rather take the time to make a romantic gentalmen out of a total jerk, but won't even give nice-guys like me the time of day.

So it will only be around this time that they start to look our way, not becuase they want us, but becuase we're the only ones who still desire them.

I am so angry right now. I'm so angry I don't know whether to scream, curse, cry or puke. I honestly have come to a point in my life where I beleive that I will never find companionship.

not sex, but companionship, some to love and to be love by. Someone to share myself with completely.

Stupid, I know, but what the **** am I supposed to say? Those are the things I want in my life and yet every cosmic power that's got its all-powerful thumb in this disgusting shit-pile we call an existance, seems hell-bent on making sure that I end up dying alone.

I met a girl and I fell in love. I though what I felt for her meant something, becuase it was unlike any other feeling I had felt in my life.

I hate life for how much of a struggle it is for me, and I hate myself for not being what others want.

I've lost all hope this day, and quite honestl;y I don't know why I even continue to bother.

the answere?

Becuase I'm retarded enough to hold on to that tiny sliver of hope that I may find someone, but I'm not holding my breath.

When I do it'll probably involve a plastic bag and a rubber-band

'm an introvert alright?

I don't get out often, and it's a ****ing climb-up Mt. Everest whenever I try to branch out and poke my head out of its shelf. It's hard for me to relate to anyone even those that would be considered my peers

I often find myself stradling the various social boarders and finding no acceptance in either one them.

As far as girls go...... what can I say. I try to be kind and tender, the loving sensetive type that they're always bitching about not having. But obviously that's not what they're looking for.

I find out about them, figure out what they like and try to work with that.
What the **** else can I say? I don't have the self-esteem to talk to a girl with an 'I don't care what she thinks of me additude.'

Sometimes I think I'm too emotional and too sensitive for my own good, but hey if a girl wants me to piss on her face after spending an evening verbally abusing her, hey I can change my ways! I can be an insensetive duche-bag too.

You'll have real nightmares when you're up against a guy who speaks French, is charismatic and plays the politician type. He's the guy I currently have to beat.

I speak fluent English and some German, am intelligent (more than him in fact, I'm not modest... he's a damn communist), know how to write kind words to women. But these qualities aren't as evident as his.

Well, at least I'm the one she sits next to in class, even though we're in that "avoid looking at each other" moment now after I decided to retribute her "just friends" with pure indifference... Seems she's buggered that I'm not showing signs of sadness (or so my therapist claims).

Meanwhile I'm investing in another girl who seems worth the trouble and who was an old crush of mine.

The advice is to be nice but not so nice, you'll have to learn where to place the nice acts to make them feel hooked. I tried overwhelming girls with niceness and it didn't work.

[lastwish]

I don't think women likes assholes but I think you need to work on your independence and be emotionally self-reliant. Anyone gets turn off by a boring, predictable, and emotionally dependent lover. You can still be a nice and honest guy and still get girls.

The worst thing a person can do (and this is not just in the relationship realm) is to depend on others because you're not in control; you become a slave to someone else. When you become a slave, you serve others and your needs become unimportant.

Remember, be the honey; not the bee.

[Angelo_91]

im with dejectedartist, if he can't be loved for just being himself.. what the **** is the point. You people giving him advice isn't helping, im in the same boat as him and it is just so pointless to give him the other fish in the sea talk and shit. Maybe a little justification in your words will actually make things believable.

[IndiReloaded]

I married a 'nice guy'. Very shy, kind introvert who has blossomed in the years we've been together into a strong, confident, outgoing man (me too, we did it together).

Who you want to be is inside you. Just let it come out. Don't worry about bending yourself into what someone else wants. Apart from it not being satisfying to you, most of the time its not what THEY want either, only what they *think* they want. So don't bother even going down that convoluted path.

Once you do that, you'll find you attract the sort of ppl that agrees with you.

How's THAT for justification, Angelo?

[shh!]

I think when girls say they want someone who is sensitive, what they really want is someone who won't hurt them and that they can lean on for emotional support. What men *think* it means is that they should be excessively emotional, but as you can see for yourself, that isn't really the case. Excessively emotional males are an emotional liability for females, not a source of strength and support. If you put two excessively emotional beings together, there is no balance.

[trixie20]

I agree w shh. girls want nice guys, not ones that are too desperate and emotional. especially right away because you just look desperate for any girl and then the girl doesnt feel special. so in the begining of any relationship you need to play hard to get also. dont fall too fast, its a huge turn off. after being with someone for awhile and its known she likes you then you can become the nice, loving, sensitive boyfriend.