Left in the dark?

[krawk]

Hey girls,

This situation make take some time to explain so please bear with me!

So theres this girl I met just over a year ago on a Contiki tour (nothing happened on tour) and by the time I got back from overseas, she had just started dating this other guy. Regardless, we became really close friends, seeing each other 2-3 times a week, speaking every other day and even went out clubbing together. Anyway one night I got a tad drunk and after spending the first half of the night with her, unknowingly just ended up neglecting her for the rest of the night (nothing suss, just speaking to old friends etc). I wanted to see her a few days later but she rightuflly gave me some attitude and said she was spending the whole day with her bf... Never saw/spoke/heard from her again for the next 6 months except for an add on Facebook.

Anyway along comes my birthday and she sends a lovely text. I invite her to my party but unfortunately shes got another one to attend but she invites me to hers a month later. So we start speaking to each other on a more frequent basis again, catching up on all the goss of our mutual friends etc. Then finally comes her birthday where she did try to make time to catch up but hosting duties get in the way. I feel kinda bad for not getting her a present (was her 21st) so the next day I got her a bracelet from T&C and on her actual bday, went and gave it to her at her place. Finally we get to catch up and she tells me shes dating someone new but doesnt have one good thing to say about him. She tells me all her friends hate him and want her to dump him, and at her party he barred her off later in the night, amongst other things. However, she still seems to make excuses for him.

So then we continue to speak over the next couple weeks and then one night while visiting her bf (who lives ~4 hours drive away) she calls at 1am in the morning, crying her eyes out telling me shes just caught her bf kissing another girl and laughing in her face. She tells me im the first person shes spoken to, im the only one she has as none of her friends will talk to her because she forgave him once already, and that she needs me. She goes on to say shes drunk, that she loved him and now she doesnt have a bf and continues to ask why does this always happen to her. The conversation continues then finally it gets to a point where I felt like the tension just had to be broken so i say 'i love you *name*' to which she responds to immediately with the same coupled with an i love you honey. I contemplate driving out there because she tells me shes going to sleep in her car and every sentence she says ends in an 'its so cold'. I end up calling her back in 30 mins and she sounds better, gone from sad to angry saying things like she wants to kill him for what he did and that she is better than this etc. Knowing that shes better I settle for calling her again in the morning.

After a sleepless night, I finally get on to her late in the afternoon to which she says she'll be coming home the next day. I choose not to bring up what was said as I figure she's still sick and there'll be plenty time to talk about it later. So i call her the next day after she gets back and we talk for ages but once again I didnt bring up anything that was said (she had work in a few hours and I figured she'd be pretty tired after the long drive). So the next day I tried calling her.. but nothing. No answer, no reply. I let it slide and try again the next day. Same result. I try for the next few days and get nothing... I cant help but think she's avoiding for some reason. Anyway, a mutual friend has a bday the next weekend so i text her a few days later to see if she can make it. She replies telling me her bf is coming up for the weekend so probably not...

I guess you can figure theres about a million things going through my head right now. I'm pretty sure she knows how I feel about her and did so long before that call. She's the sweetest and nicest girl I've ever met and basically im tired of being her #2. What do i do? What can i say to her? Help!

[MzConfused]

Tell her the truth anyway.

There's only two things that can happen.

She can either tell you she loves you too, kiss you and tell you that she'll break up with her boyfriend for you...

...or she can tell you she likes you on a friendly level and apologizee for the mixed signals she may've given you.

Whether it's the answer you want or not, you need to know. She can't play these mind games with you. She needs to know for certain how you feel so she can give you her response and you can move up or move on.

However, you must be ready to hear the truth. Don't get your hopes up because it'll hurt if you don't get the answer you want. Trust me, i know from experience.

And clarify with her that whatever happens cannot affect your friendship with her. Tell her no matter what you'll always be her comfort (if that's what your willing to be)

i hope this helps. Let me know.xxx