problem staying interested

[firefly1982]

I have a problem interested in a man for a long period of time. First i should mention that I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and that might have something to do with my relationship issues because I tend to do a lot of over thinking and worrying. Anyway, I get really excited at the beginning of a relationship and I want to do everything with that person. I love surprising them, cooking for them, talking to them and generally doing anything with them then all of a sudden like in the matter of one day the feelings just seem like they turn off and I don't get excited at all anymore. Then I fall into depression when all i can think about is why my feelings have changed. I no longer want to do anything with the person and i just keep wishing and hoping that the early feelings will return. And sometimes the excited feelings will return for a little while but it never lasts. Its like I am either 100% happy or 100% miserable. I am really frustrated and feel like I will never have a good relationship. Does anyone know why this might be happening to me? or have a similar problem? Thanks!

[ecojeanne]

you probably just haven't met the right person. when the excited feelings return for a little while that could be you convincing yourself to keep trying.

some people are 'all or nothing' type of people. that can be difficult when day to day things interrupt and then feelings fade fast. I say try not to think about things too much, and if you continue to feel this way, well you just need to meet someone who is the same as you.

when i was younger i found that i was an 'all or nothing' type of person and when my attention was distracted i got disinterested. as time goes by things change and you'll find that your attention to small details don't matter as much.


there is nothing unnatural about feeling like this. take it easy on yourself. try to relax about relationships don't try to be so perfect.