How do you break up with a good guy? I'm afraid and upset. :(

[ecojeanne]

its like ripping off a plaster (band aid)...it has to be done....just do it. if he cries then leave and say you can't handle seeing him cry...be honest and say you want to focus on your career and life...THE END.....

don't feel guilty and don't let him convince you to stay with him....just leave

its sounds harsh but actually it really isn't.

[hermionegranger]

its like ripping off a plaster (band aid)...it has to be done....just do it. if he cries then leave and say you can't handle seeing him cry...be honest and say you want to focus on your career and life...THE END.....

don't feel guilty and don't let him convince you to stay with him....just leave

its sounds harsh but actually it really isn't.

I did it! I broke up with him and it was terrible! He cried and... told me things... at first he wanted to leave at once, but I begged him to stay so I could talk to him and tell him why am I breaking up with him in the first place. He was very upset, a little harsh even, gave me back a present I'd given him about a year ago. And that was pretty hard to handle, because... I wanted him to understand, but... he didn't understand anything I meant. He still believes that our relationship has a chance. He still has hope. He has called me twice after the break up and has sent me a text message, saying that he still has hope and that he can't understand, why did I break up with him.

This is so hard. My eyes are all red and sore... And he is in pain as well. Gosh, why all this?!?! I think I'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight? Was there really no chance to save our relationship?! Have I quit to easily? I just can't see myself happy with him in the future....

[ecojeanne]

i can understand you doubting yourself because in respect to what you just did was 'hurt him'......but in fairness to you and him...it was the best decision. you are just feeling the aftermath and guilt. don't rethink....you already thought about this a lot. don't pretend to yourself that things will change, they simply won't, can't change who he is or who you are.

i broke up with my ex once before the proper big break coz he convinced me to go back to him. that was a mistake for me, i should have stuck to my guns in the first decision. you will feel the loss and feel tempted thru guilt to reconsider but be strong.

[all alone]

its a quite natural reaction on both your parts. If he is upset by this all he won't be able to see your reasons right away even if you do sit down with him and explain it. It takes time. You just made the decision you had to move on. It seems to me you were thinking quite clearly about this all, and very rationally for someone in your situation.

[snoz]

Well I'll give you my persepective as a guy on the receiving end. Surely he's going to feel betrayed in some sense though if he has any sense or some deep feelings for you he will learn in time just exactly why you broke up with him. Or perhaps I'm just too understanding?

You don't have to explain anything and if he persists a good rule is to just not keep in contact for a while. You can try and reason with him but he'll argue every point you make. I know because while I was hurt I did exactly that and now I can see things well apart from seeing being hurt again but haha oh well.

It's never easy no matter the circumstance. You've made up your mind and it's a good reasoning behind it. Sometimes it gets even more complicated than just incompatibilities so cheer up

[IndiReloaded]

[ame="http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=x7lpHdsiVYg&feature=related"]YouTube - I'll Say Goodbye[/ame]

[Everlovin]

He's still willing to try and make things better, but I don't have any hope, especially because we have very different interests in life. How do I explain that?

Ya know, this could just be me but....I enjoy being in a relationship where my partner has different interests in life. The differences between my girlfriend are; I like rap and she likes rock, I was a cop and she is a paramedic, I want to have kids someday and she never wants to, I moved back in with my parents and she owns her own house, I like the toilet up and she likes it down, I like funny movies and she likes scary movies, I like Hyundais but she prefers Hondas, I like vegatables and she does not.

From trivial to major differences they do exist but we get along...and the sex is great!

I wouldn't date someone who had most of the same interests as me. I wouldn't even date someone who has most of the same opinions or political beliefs as me. I like disagreeing and embracing those differences. Opposites attract and I don't want to be bored with some person who just appeases me and sees everything the same way.

[Lipp]

Well, if you do it, at least try to talk it through and explain why, if he's a good guy it'd be bloody mean to just say that its over and then walk away.

[wilsongan]

Hermoine. Couldn't you just wave the magic wand?
Haha, sorry just trying to ease the tension a little bit.

Hey. You know what I see.
YOU'RE SO HURT WHEN HE IS!

That isn't love? Define love for yourself. I once was talking to a bunch about what love was and ask them to take a piece of paper, write down what love is to them. You read, and then you will see everyone sees it differently, although actually it shouldn't be so much different. Differentiate love and like! Many doesn't.

Interest falls into like, love, doesn't care about any of those. REALLY.

I once heard a preacher said, I hate the roller coaster...my wife likes the roller coaster, .........I LIKE THE ROLLER COASTER.

Hey, if its not all that wrong in what your partner loves, how hard can it be liking it for them?

You think you gonna find someone who loves all your interest in the future? You will! I assure you. But what I couldn't assure you is, can you be sure he will be totally interested in you and devote himself to you and you alone?

Which you would rather? Someone who likes to do what you do, or someone who loves you for everything you are and can be?

You're only 21? Right? You sure you are not going to change in your views and interest?

Gosh, you love him so much. Give it a break girl! When love fails, you LOVE more. When the going gets tough, people don't let go. Do you let go if a huge wave comes your way? You hold on to your partner's hand stronger. That is how human works. But sadly, we're never placed in a situation where we are face with difficulties which might cause us death.

Think about holding hands. That's all. Holding hands. He cried for you. Geez. How many guys gonna do that for you when you tell them you gonna walk out of them? How many guys are you willing to cry for as well? You found one!

Cheers! And God bless you guys!

Regards,

Wilsongan

[Amisha]

hermoine..im in the same cndition as u dear..i hv tried brk-up..nd he cried b4 me..nd he said dt he will do nethin to make thins work-put..bt i m nt able to trust him..i m nt able to believe dt is dis luv..wen i told him dt im nt happy..he told me dt evn hez nt happy..bt he doesnt want to let me go..i care for him a lot..i luv him alot..im too cnfused in my own feelings..im 18 yrs old..nd abt career..i hv ruined my exams..nd he also hs fuked up his exams..bt he still doesnt wants to leave me..i feel as if im trapped..i feel as if..if i cnt c him as my future..hw lng wil he b able to stick to his words..i fear as if he wil dump me one day...i dunno wht to do..i tink of doin a silent brk-up..by jst nt attending his kols..nd mssgs..or jst ignoring or avoiding him..bt my own conscious is nt aloowing to back-stab him..i luv u nd i care for him a lot..bt i dunno i cnot tink straight abt our relationship..i hv read oll ur posts..u seem to b in the same cndition as me..bt i cnt face him..while doin the brk-up..nd i cnt jst b wid him..givin hima false hope..dt we will b 2gether forever..it hs to b done sooner or latr..bt i dunno how..i sumtyms feel..it wil go along..bt evn a small incidence shakes my belief nd confidence oll over again..
i dunno if dis is helping u or nt..bt surely im nt able to cnsntrate on oder thins in lyf..i m into dis relationship for abt 1 yr nd 3 mnths..

[Amisha]

hey hermoine..its a personal question..but have u broken up with your guy or are u still going around with him..please let me know if you can..

[Gigabitch]

Amisha, she posted this last year and hasn't been back since. I'm locking this thread now so it doesn't get bumped again.