Is it worth it?!

[Kiechi]

Where to start?

Well, there's this girl. I've posted about her before. Basically, we met when she was in a rocky period with her ex. We got along well and was constantly flirty with eachother until the end of the last semester at university, mainly due to the fact I was addicted to drugs. So I figured I'd get over her over the summer. And I thought I did? But when we come across eachother again in the 2nd year (this sept), everything come flushing back, as cliche as it sounds. And according to her, it was the same.

Few weeks later we see eachother at karaoke, we get along well. We kinda' fell back into how we used to be before I started taking drugs. And this carried on over the weeks. But I can't help but ask myself am I really seeing what I'm seeing? Do I really think she likes me the way I think she does? Or is it all in my head. Then one night we were at a mutual friends party and we both got pretty wasted and started talking 'bout how she thinks i've changed back to how I used to be and me going on about how closed off and unobvious she is when it comes to expressing how she feels about me. Cos of how things went sour towards the end of year 1, I figured none of it mattered nomore and she prob' didn't like me as much as I thought she did. They she said she was crazy for me, but last year, i apparently fell into bad habits and she figured I was going to **** her off so she thought it'd be best if she got there first. But none of this seemed obvious to me last year? She never talked about how she felt and bla bla. Then she goes onto saying how we have too much in common to ever get together, and i was thinking she said it just to provoke a reaction. I replied with maybe, but never say never.

Few weeks later I have a little shindig at mine and we invited the girls over. We were playing centurion. My stomach was a bit dicky at that time cos' of being on the last for past week. Once I hit the 30th shot I couldn't go on, so the girl I like said she'd carry on for me and we can be a 2 man team. We both got pretty pissed then we went off to talk. We, again got back into the conversation of how much we've changed and how much better we're getting on. And she way like, we should just be friends. I agreed for the sake of it, I, of course want more than just friendship. Then she grabs my hands and places em' on her chest saying "pretend you're a gay friend" and goes onto saying something bout' how one of her tits feel smaller than the other. After sitting there feeling her her melons for a breif minute, she went home and we said our goodbyes. Few days after, we get mashed again, totally off our faces. And we both end up at hers. Then I said something like, I still like you. And she said the feeling was mutual but it's hard cos' she's going out with her roomates brother, just to make the situation complicated. She then went on to tell me how much she wanted me to kiss her at my little party few days ago. I go to kiss her and then pulled away, knowing even know I like her, I still don't want her to do something that'll effect her r/s with her BF. So she sat there in my lap crying for 10 minutes. I ask her, it's either me or him. if it's him, please expect that i can no longer have any contact with you, meaning not being friends. She wasn't happy with that. She said she didn't know. After a lot of grabbing eachothers hands hard and stroking bla bla bla she decides she wants to be with her BF. She's like become totally convinced that we have so much in common, like humour and poor punctuation that it'd never work between us. What ****ing bullshit is THAT?! So I figure she's been listening to some bullshit flung about her mates saying I'm no good bla bla bla.

I don't know why I posted this. IT's kinda a rant, as much as a incoherent piece of shit, but I want your opinions on whether it's worth it or not? should I carry on trying to get with her and eventually win her over? or just drift away, ripping another perfectly good chapter away from my life and settling for 2nd best cos' I didn't have the bollox to stick it out? All I want to know is, is it worth it?

___

apologise for poor spelling and shit. i'm actually very high off my face.

apologies x

[IndiReloaded]

No, its NOT worth it.

So you better do NC then, like you said you would. This gal is a mess & messing you up along with her.

Are you back on drugs again? Jeeze, Kie. No chick is worth ****ing up your own life for.

[Zilla80]

Girls can suck sometimes.

[ecojeanne]

if you're on drugs does this reality even matter? are you sure she said and did those things or is it in your head?

[Kiechi]

if you're on drugs does this reality even matter? are you sure she said and did those things or is it in your head?

I know she did. Stop playing with my head you cheeky git!

...and no, I didn't start smoking again cos' of her. But is she worth pursuing?

I'd really love Vashti's advice right now. And GRK, never had one of his long posts in one of my threads before haha.

[Charlie Boy II]

what drugs are you on?

[Kiechi]

Nothing at the moment. But I used to be addicted to weed a lot. Then I went through a stage when I was taking shit like salvia, coke, jack n jills. It's all escape to me. And now cos' I've been prescribed medication I find myself getting pissed a whole lot more just because my medication hightens the buzz.

[Charlie Boy II]

Also, I would have sex with this girl as soon as possible and let
God sort it out.

[shh!]

Mixing alcohol and anti-depressants can worsen your depression, Kiechi. Which meds are you on? I can't remember now...

Anyway, I think she wants attention, but I don't think you should give it to her unless she loses the boyfriend. I'd go with no contact. Hold out for a girl who doesn't make you feel like begging.

[Junket]

Dude, getting involved with a chick that has similar vices as you is not fertile ground for a healthy relationship, or your health.

[bluesummer]

I agree with Fras. This chick sounds like an emotional trainwreck and is just going to screw you up. Who cares if you've got a few things in common? I bet you'd find you have things in common with other chicks too....ones that aren't going to **** with you like this. Stop talking to her, for god's sake.

And get off the drugs, you don't need to be messing with that shit. You're using as an excuse to not really face your probs.

[Kiechi]

I'm on prozacs Vash.

FrasAndBlue --- Eurgh, I kinda' sent her a TXT last night saying I apologise for the other night and that I shouldn't have said things I did.

Bad move huh?

[bluesummer]

You shouldn't have bothered.

[Junket]

I'm on prozacs Vash.

FrasAndBlue --- Eurgh, I kinda' sent her a TXT last night saying I apologise for the other night and that I shouldn't have said things I did.

Bad move huh?

Ugh.

I'm not really sure what you even want out of a relationship, or if you even really want a relationship at all. Hell, do you even know what you want?

[Kiechi]

Yeah, I want a long term R/S with her.

(Damn those blonde law birds!)

EDIT:

Cain --- eets wun ov ur wimmins lulz