1averagejoe, I'm Calling You Out

[1averagejoe]

1averagejoe, I'm glad to see you update this thread. Now for my critique:

you did several things wrong. First, you didn't ask for the girl's number. If you talked to her for an hour and made her laugh the entire time, then you had the perfect opportunity to get her digits. Don't worry about coming off too aggressive. If anything, you weren't aggressive enough. The girl was giving you signs and you failed to pull the trigger.

second, you didn't invite her to meet up again. You mentioned that it felt like a date. Who has fun on a date and doesn't ask to meet up again? Also, you have to understand that every girl is different. So the same strategy won't work on all of them. While appearing indifferent might work with certain girls, it won't help you with the shy ones.

third, you shouldn't have paid for the girl. Not only did you set the precedent that you will always pay, but her behavior at the coffee shop was questionable. What normal person doesn't know how much money they have on them? Does she not carry a credit card either? I've seen this stunt pulled before by girls who don't want to pay. I would have called her out on it.

I didn't see the not getting the number as a big deal since I was going to see her again soon...but now I see I kind of messed up there and it was the best moment to go for it.

But I don't understand the whole paying for the drink...I mean she didn't want me to buy her one, but I just did it anyways to be nice. I don't see how buying her a drink because she didn't have money is telling her I always pay. It was just a $3 drink. It's not like I bought her a meal. And I wouldn't even consider it a real date, we just kind of stumbled across each other.

I don't have a credit card, I don't expect anyone my age to have one either. And there are plenty of times I don't have any cash on me because I didn't go to the bank...lol.

[IndiReloaded]

I think Neo is just saying to be careful it doesn't become a habit that a girl takes advantage of your kindness, that's all.

Mbe on the next outing you could arrange for another drink of the same sort. See if she jumps to get yours this time as repayment. A decent girl would. And no chance she would have forgotten. Girls remember everything.

[1averagejoe]

I think Neo is just saying to be careful it doesn't become a habit that a girl takes advantage of your kindness, that's all.

Mbe on the next outing you could arrange for another drink of the same sort. See if she jumps to get yours this time as repayment. A decent girl would. And no chance she would have forgotten. Girls remember everything.

That's not an issue, I'm not going to let her take advantage of me that way. She doesn't seem like that type. But then again my ex didn't seem like the cheating type...so you never know.

As for running into her again, I have no idea when exactly but I know we have a game this Friday like I mentioned and she said she'll try to come. It would be nice if it could be just me and her but I don't think that's going to happen. But I'll try to see if I can get the team to go somewhere to eat after and if her sister can go she'll obviously go. I think my next best chance to really get to talk to her again is my birthday maybe get her drunk, lol.

[TheGreek]

Best of luck to you bro. I'm gunnin' for ya. Let us know how it goes.

[NeoSeminole]

1averagejoe says:

"As for running into her again, I have no idea when exactly but I know we have a game this Friday like I mentioned and she said she'll try to come. It would be nice if it could be just me and her but I don't think that's going to happen. But I'll try to see if I can get the team to go somewhere to eat after and if her sister can go she'll obviously go. I think my next best chance to really get to talk to her again is my birthday maybe get her drunk, lol."

if it were me, I would already have this girl's number and be arranging a date with her. All you can think about is getting her drunk at a party so you can talk to her. <face palm>

[1averagejoe]

Blah...I'm terrible at this.

[TheGreek]

Blah...I'm terrible at this.

C'mon man. Don't get yourself down. So yeah, maybe you should have gotten her number. But you're not done yet. Meet up with her at the game and start talking to her. I don't know if you should go for a big party with a bunch of drunk people. I think that if you really want to get to know her, it's better to opt for something a little more private.

[NeoSeminole]

1averagejoe says:

"Blah...I'm terrible at this."

now do you see why I said you should first practice your approaches on random girls? It's so that you don't make the same mistakes when you talk to a girl you like. I made this thread a month and a half ago. You haven't been practicing (only 2-3 girls the whole time) and went straight for someone you are interested in. You haven't ruined it yet with the shy girl. So there's no need to feel down about yourself. I strongly suggest you still approach other girls, even if you don't want to date them. Remember: I'm not asking you to look for a girlfriend. I just want you to become more successful at talking to girls. It will improve your game for when you finally talk to one you like.

[1averagejoe]

I feel kinda bad now.

It would be nice if I could get her just alone again, I don't know how I'm going to be able to ask for her number if we're in a group, that might be kind of awkward. She has a tendency to stick with her sister a lot of the time which might make things a little harder.

As for approaching random girls, I don't know...I have trouble just going up to some random person on campus or wherever to just talk to them, I just feel it's creepy. Now when it comes to someone I know through a friend or someone I have no problem going up to them and talking, which was the case with this girl.

But, if you say I should...I guess I should.

[IndiReloaded]

Neo's advice seems good to me. I always practice presentations or things with smaller groups before attempting anything larger. Same principle, I think: to shake out the wrinkles in the routine before launching into something you really care about.

I'd bet Neo handles his bodybuilding comps the same way. Its a good general practice to get into whether with work or relationships.

[1averagejoe]

**** **** **** **** ****...this kind of sucks. Can't explain right now got to go somewhere.

[1averagejoe]

Well shit...

It turns out one of the guys on the team has been talking with her a lot and has liked her for some time. I thought he liked her older sister because at one of the parties we were at the sister was crying and he held her, put the head on the shoulder,comforted her, etc...

So turns out today I overhead him talking about the girl I like...then I brought up when she was leaving that she was cute. Then he says "Ya, I still haven't asked for her number yet." ****!

Turns out he's liked her for some time and he's been talking with her for a while. I had no clue and no one told me.

Well, I consider him a friend...and I go by the saying "Bro's, before ho's" Even though she's not a ho, but you know what I mean. Kind of sucks but there's really nothing I can do and I'm not going to pursue her since he is.

Man this really sucks. I had actually planned to ask for her number when we were leaving the pizza place, which he did.

Ohh well, it was a good learning experience though. I got to be a bit more aggressive next time. Looks like I'm back to ground zero.

[doppelgaenger]

Women sometimes ruin friendships (Rather, men betray each other for them). I think you're handling this situation right.

Now go hit on some women.

[1averagejoe]

Now to get over my crush...I absolutely hate crushes, worst feeling when you can't have them.

Funny I've never had a crush I actually dated. With my ex, we just started going out without really getting to know each other before.

[IndiReloaded]

I don't understand? You can't get her number b/c you know another guy hasn't got her # yet either??

How strange...to me anyway. Mbe one of the other guys can help more.