Married or Just Living Together?

[pythongrace]

Would you want to just live together with the one you are inlove with or get married? To me, I see marriage as something that is for people who are religious or people who are into big celebrations or parties, or for people who are totally family-oriented. I'm neither. I don't believe in any religion nor am I into huge ceremonies. To me the only good thing about marriage is there is more security in a commited relationship. Yes I know that you can do that just by having good communication with your partner, and laying out your feelings on the table, but you can't deny that the ring is a big deal, it's a deep reminder that you are taken in case you come across a temptation that might cloud your thinking lol. And living together is good too in a way that you and a partner will have the similar lifestyle as a married couple. What do you think about marriage and living together? What would you rather be in?

[alter_ego]

I not religious, in fact I don't even believe in God, so I guess that it makes me an atheist. But I still feel that I do want to get married. In fact I feel that it's important to me.

I see living together as a step on the "road to marriage".

Marriage is not a religious thing to me, but rather an agreement between to people. Two people promising each other lifelong commitment. The symbolic value of the marriage is important thing to me.

[shh!]

I think living together is fine if both parties are absolutely certain they have the same goal in mind. All too often though, the woman agrees to live with a man because she thinks it is the next step towards marriage, while the male agrees to live together because he sees it as a way to delay marriage. Bad plan.

As for myself, if my husband ever kicks the bucket, I will live alone unless I re-marry (unlikely). Honestly, I wouldn't want the day-to-day responsibility for another person that comes along with sharing a home. Plus, you lose a lot of freedom,a nd you tend to bicker about stupid stuff when you live together. Why bother?

[alter_ego]

Sorry for going OT - but what a funny expression, Kicks the bucket, never heard of it, what does it mean?

[shh!]

Kicks the bucket means they are dead.

[alter_ego]

Kicks the bucket means they are dead.

Thanx for explaining... I'm improving my English

[Only-virgins]

Doesn't matter either way.

[alter_ego]

Doesn't matter either way.

Why? I would assume that you would have some issues making a serious commitment like that. Or have I completley misjudged you?

[Only-virgins]

Why? I would assume that you would have some issues making a serious commitment like that. Or have I completley misjudged you?

Not really, I mean I am an atheist also and marriage is just a paper to me. Nothing by a promise really. Doesn't really matter to me if I am living with the one I love or am married....though in some cases married people get a certain tax cuts and stuff so maybe that would be a good idea...but than the negative of the headaches of splitting up if you do have to when married....just more frustrating as it isn't as simple as leaving until the papers and shit are done.

[alter_ego]

Not really, I mean I am an atheist also and marriage is just a paper to me. Nothing by a promise really. Doesn't really matter to me if I am living with the one I love or am married....though in some cases married people get a certain tax cuts and stuff so maybe that would be a good idea...but than the negative of the headaches of splitting up if you do have to when married....just more frustrating as it isn't as simple as leaving until the papers and shit are done.

You really shouldn't plan marriage based upon what benefits you receive when separating. The point of getting married is to live together for the rest of ones life.

[Only-virgins]

You really shouldn't plan marriage based upon what benefits you receive when separating. The point of getting married is to live together for the rest of ones life.

There is nothing stopping me from living with them for the rest of my life even when I am not married, when I am married though though when something breaks us apart the break up is simpler and more clean.

[alter_ego]

I would assume that it would be easier to walk away from the relationship if not married. The marriage makes the relationship a bit more serious somehow.

[Only-virgins]

The marriage makes the relationship a bit more serious somehow.

That is just an idea people have in their head. The relationship is a serious as the two people decide it to be.

[ecojeanne]

i don't really understand why there has to be rules. if you want to move in together then move in. imo its a stepping stone to marraige for most people. i agree with marraige when children are involved otherwise it's just a man trap or an expensive party that women in particular are obsessed with because of fairy tales read to them by their mom's when they were a kid.....no-one lives happily ever after....and thats what some women seem to want when they marry, the dream. the reality it doesn't matter, why conform to a set of rules laid down by society years ago. if you want to, fine....if you don't then don't

[Dasein]

I think living together is fine if both parties are absolutely certain they have the same goal in mind. All too often though, the woman agrees to live with a man because she thinks it is the next step towards marriage, while the male agrees to live together because he sees it as a way to delay marriage. Bad plan.

I have seen this so many times. The woman thinks that they are getting closer to marriage and the guy thinks "phew I have more time up my sleeve". I really feel for the women in these situations.