Girlfriend Extremely Stressed!

[D-rokk]

Hey everyone,

I'm super new to this forum, but I've been having problems talking to any other girls about this. I'm from Vancouver, BC and I'm having some MASSIVE girl troubles!

I've been dating this girl for over 2 years (2 years 1 month to be exact) and I'm absolutely crazy about her. We are so similar in so many ways, and completely in love. That said, this past summer wasn't so great. We both live at the University during the year, but she moves back home for the summer, and it seemed to be super tough on her even though we saw eachother AT LEAST once a week. I know people on here that are in long-distance relationships will probably say "blah blah that's nothing", but it's a big deal when we are together basically 24/7 during the 8 months of school.

Regardless, the problem at hand is that she CANNOT manage her stress level, and it ALWAYS ends up building up, resulting in a nuclear-level FREAK OUT at me!
Ex. She has had at least 1 midterm a week for the past 3 weeks. I've done EVERYTHING I could for her, brought her little treats (chocolate/starbucks etc.), given her 30 min. massages, studied with her (it's a big deal for me since I can't study with other people), and constantly reminded her that everything will be ok. Apparently this is not enough, since twice this past week she has absolutely lost it on me.

It's becoming extremely difficult for me to keep shaking off the verbal lashings (I have to work SUPER early (5:00 a.m.) on Tuesday/Thursdays so I went to bed early while she studied and as I got into bed I said "I love you!" and she said back " I know you f*cking love me, F*CK." This came completely out of nowhere and I was super taken aback, and I had absolutely no idea what to say. Regardless, I left from her place at about 4:15 a.m. and muttered I love you and left, still super pissed off. Talking to her today, she claims that all that I need to do is "Hold her and reassure her that everything is going to be ok". Now, it's obviously only my side that you're hearing, but I KNOW that I do whatever I can to calm her down when she has these monster stress-attacks.

She ran a lot last year, as in 3-4 times a week and she seemed much better off. I keep reminding her of how well that worked, and she says "I dont have time", even when she spends AT LEAST 3 hours a day watching downloaded tv shows. I'm really stuck with what to do, and there is NO WAY I want to end this after what we've been through. The issue to me is that she doesn't too worried about improving this aspect of herself, and never gives thought to it after about a day. It's just really tough on me knowing that we'll probably live together soon(ish, depending on her Ultra-Conservative parents) and that I will be MUCH closer to her then, since many of her friends will be off at different places (unlike now, where her friend's primarily live in the same Residence area on campus).

Wow, I just wrote a frickin' novel. I think that pretty much sums up everything.

Sorry for the long read!
Thanks
D-rokk

[boobaa]

Its not a novel, just a couple of sentences.

[kitty001]

Im in a similar situation..except Im on the girl's end lol. My boyfriend and I go to the same college, and Im terrible at handling stress..and I do blow up at him sometimes, even though I know I shouldn't and I feel bad when I do.

She needs to find better ways of managing it, as do I.

Oh and btw, LISTEN to what she told you. Reassure her more, it might help. I know for a fact when Im up all night studying for an exam, and about to burst into tears from stress, I love when my boyfriend holds me and tells me everything will be okay. I find it really comforting and it helps me calm down and focus more. Bringing her treats and stuff is great too, but sometimes all she might need is a hug... emotional support.

[Charlie Boy II]

Hey everyone,
I said "I love you!" and she said back " I know you f*cking love me, F*CK."

hahaha your girlfriend sounds like a legend.

[starbuck]

Can your girlfriend take some yoga or go to the gym? Exercise helps with stress tremendously.

I agree with Kitty about the emotional support. In stressful times, advice or lectures don't really help. Just hold her, stroke her hair, and tell her it's all going to be ok.