Unnecessary jealousy?

[sadface]

Hi there, I really need a guy's view on this. I have been with my bf for 5 years. From the beginning, I thought he was crazy about me and etc. But when times go by, it seems to me that he actually put a lot of other things before me. Anyway, recently his brother just got married. He was the best man at his wedding. At the wedding, he has to be with the bridesmaid (the bride's sister) all the time and even had photos taken (just two of them) together. He had never taken photos before with a gal (just two of them except with me). And he had to dance with her. Obviously, I was left alone at the wedding and felt quite jealous about all this. When I told him that, he told me off big time. We got over that but I still felt very upset thinking about it. Later on, he told me that he had bought a very expensive romantic weekend break for his brother and the wife as wedding present. I said nothing but deep down I am quite jealous. I mean, we have been going out for 5 years and he never took me to a romantic weekend. And as far as I am concerned, I have hinted that we should get married soon and yet, he has shown no sign of proposing and everytime he got asked by his frens or parents, he just said he had no money to get married. I really don't know what to do. I don't feel special anymore with him. Am I overacting?

[Gigabitch]

I don't know if "overreacting" is the right description for someone who is trying to make her boyfriend into someone he's clearly not. Why are you trying to push this guy into marrying you? He can't even give you his undivided attention at a wedding.

See that for the red flag it is and start shopping around for a better boyfriend or accept him for the casual guy he is. You're not going to change this situation, and if you stake more of a claim that he's comfortable with, he's going to chuck you.

Wouldn't be a bad thing for you, IMO. You're definitely going in a different direction than he is.

[shh!]

Your boyfriend was just doing what he perceived to be his "job" at the wedding... lots of people pair up the grooms with the bridesmaids. You really didn't expect him to make a big stink out of this at his brother's WEDDING, did you? regardless of how silly some of these requirements are, if they are important to the bride and groom, it was right of your B/F to just go with the flow. Lots of stupid things go on at weddings, and they probably will at yours, too.

About the gift - your problem isn't the gift, so you should stop begrudging them for it. Your problem is that your boyfriend isn't as serious about this relationship as you are. If you want him to marry you, tell him you expect to be engaged by ___________ or you are leaving him. Only say this if you mean it, though.

[Dasein]

Your problem is that your boyfriend isn't as serious about this relationship as you are.

That's the bottom line really. You want to get married - he doesn't. You want a romantic weekend with him - he doesn't.

If you feel like you aren't on the same page as to your future then you need to be proactive and do something about it.

[all alone]

sounds to me like you haven't talked to him about this.. your doing a bit of assuming.. Although you thoughts are based on recent experiences your perception could be different then his. The only way you are truely going to know his direction is to have a talk with him, sit back and analyze your relationship, maybe compare were you each see each other in 2 or 3 years, 5, 10?..

I think this is a better idea then giving him an ultimatum.