"Just Friends"

[RetailBoy]

Hey ladies!

I'm going to try to keep this short and try not to bore yall, I've never came to a forum for help but there seems to be some intelligent conversation in this forum.

Pretty much this girl had a crush on me for a year, she flirted with me all the time and her friends told me. But I resisted cause my life wasn't ready for her - didn't want to hurt her and lose her cause of my busy schedule - so I just avoided her and talked every once in a while (in same college courses) - so I wouldn't become attached and all.

So a year goes by, we are in same class again, she flirts with me more, she asks to work with a project with her and to sit with her. When we did the project I found out I wanted her so bad... so I came out and said for the past year I'd been avoiding her and all cause I didn't want to hurt her, she said she thought I didn't like her but she like me. She was REALLY happy. We went on a kinda date (she had just recently - 1 month ago- been off/on with boyfriend of 2 years), so we weren't even going out, but I held her and all a kiss or two on the cheek... I asked her "So if I don't ask you out in the next week would you be surprised"... and she said yes.

So we start hanging out a good amount the next few days - pretty much just talking, and I stupidly opened up about all my feelings, ambitions, emotions, blah blah, she did a little too... I was being a 100% beta male.

I did this because I thought I had already won her over, since she had been chasing me for a year. And honestly, I make over 60 grand a year as college student, have good body, all the materialistic things a giurl could ask for... I'm also not cocky or any obvious personality problems... we were honestly equals.

But I think I smothered her so quick with my emotions, making me weak when really I know she wants protection... she used to date a guy that literally thought he was a cowboy...

So a week after admitting I did like her and wanted her... she said "It's awkward that we were friends for so long"... "I just see us as friends"

I played it cool, told her I really like her, and if she REALLY wants me to be friends with her I will try but it will be slow... But I told her it may never work.


My question is, since I'm in the same class as her three times a week (I can sit in other parts of the 200 person class room)... Do I:
a) give in and try to stay sane and be friends
b) still sit by her she doesn't know what she wants give her time - but take a different social approach
c) sit with my other friends ignore her, hope she sees what it's like without me
d) sit with my other friends ignore her, don't hope to get back with her
e) pull her aside and make out with her like a raging animal
f) OR WHAT

Thanks for reading this!

[bluesummer]

It seems that she may have interest in you beyond friendship, but maybe isn't sure about it.

I don't think you should ignore her. Stay friends, see where it goes. She may give in to you.....and if she doesn't, don't be afraid to pursue other 'opportunities' that present themselves. You don't need to save yourself waiting for her to come around.

[RetailBoy]

It seems that she may have interest in you beyond friendship, but maybe isn't sure about it.

I don't think you should ignore her. Stay friends, see where it goes. She may give in to you.....and if she doesn't, don't be afraid to pursue other 'opportunities' that present themselves. You don't need to save yourself waiting for her to come around.

It's been one day. I mean the day before this she still let me kiss her and hold her - literally nothing happened in between those times and this. I told her, that if she ever wants to be with me - no matter if it seems I'm just trying to be her friend or avoid her - to tell me, cause I won't change the way I feel - might of been a mistake.

Thanks for your response, before I posted this I was on the fence of avoiding her, or sitting by her being friends. The only thing with being friends - I don't think I could mentally move onto another relationship - I've taken more sleep aids this past week cause of thinking of her than in the past year haha.

But honestly, I think your right there is still potential - the things we had in common: goals, daily activities, way we wanted to spend time together, etc. was so compatible... and I knew she could quite her job and focus more on college and rely on me and travel the country with me, due to my funds. I just opened up and scared her I think.

Thanks for your reply! Much appreciated.

[genesys4]

I'd say the mixture of b & c. get to know other girls but at the same time, make her your closer friend than others.