hi everybody...

[secretlife]

im a divorced woman from europe with a 10 years old daughter. some month ago i started a secret life, a relationship where i try out things i never did before...
i think i could need some advices now and then, thats why im here

[Gigabitch]

Well, do you have a question? What is it about this life that must be kept secret?

[secretlife]

well, since my ordinary life was finished with my divorce, i had to start a new life.
its not easy in this age... i mean im not old, but not that young either, plus i have a daugther and that makes things not easier
on the other hand, i have some secret desires, and i think its right now the time for it to make them reality. its not easy to speak about it, even so anonymously... its about sexuality... i have a secret realtionship now, he is some years younger, and i dont want to make it get serious, it should be only for fun. well, actually, sex... and he should satsify my wish to be dominated in bed, eg. tie me up and control me, or roleplay ravishing me... a bit of harder treatment...

[IndiReloaded]

As a parent, I'd keep any dating I did secret from my kid too. Esp since you know you aren't looking for anything serious.

Just be safe & don't put yourself in any risky situations. Your daughter depends on you.

[ransom_nite]

Yes i agree with indi, dont let your daughter get caught up in it. be safe and responsible with it as it is only for a bit of fun as you said

[secretlife]

yes i know this, and i also did my best to make it as safe as possible. but i know there is always a bit of risk in these kinds of games, but somehow this only makes it more exciting. i played all my life safe, and usually i know how to control things, i have a good job career, and have no financial problems at all, in spite of the divorce. i think i always had a good life, still these secret desires remained unsatisfied. now i want them fulfilled... its strange that this great wish of me is just about losing all control, and feeling helpless... im thinking about it a lot...
but i wont mix "fun" with my everyday life, my daughter knows nothing about it, and shall it be...

[IndiReloaded]

IMO, as a single parent with a dependent child you have no right to be risking yourself much beyond jaywalking across a busy street.

Still, ppl do all sorts of things w/kids: unprotected sex, drugs, bringing low-lifes into their child's home. I suppose most of them survive.

You sound a bit repressed. Is there something other than risque sex you can do for your adrenaline rush? I'm far from promoting prudism, but I do think that kids come first.

[secretlife]

believe me, i know that im responsible for my child. i dont change partners, there is only this one, and i knew him for a month when i first had sex with him, then after another month did i first ask him to tie me up. i considered long and gathered information about him before i did so. i even made him kind of financially depending on me. he manages a fitness center in a rented hall, and the owner wanted to rise the costs by 30%. i had just got a greater sum from my divorce and wanted to invest that money, so i bought that hall from the owner, and let the rent at the old level. so he depends on me. it was a great luck for me, everything went perfectly, it was almost as if a guardian angel had helped me. as if somone "up there" wanted me to step into this realtionship...
im usually very sure and deliberate in my everyday life, and things seem to go well for me, but im rather unsure about some questions regarding this relation. sometimes i feel guilty, as if doing something illegal, sometimes i feel being a slut or a perverse, or simply being total stupid for doing things voluntarily that no normal woman would do... well maybe that sounds rather hard, im not a hardcore masochist, im not into getting beaten up or so... for me the whole thing is mostly about sex and arousal and satisfaction... just under "special" circumstances... most woman would surely not want to get tied up and gagged and blindfolded for sex...

[secretlife]

sorry, i forgot to answer your question.
honestly, i dont tkow what else could compensate me for this unfulfilled desire. i think i could get nearly everything that is buyable for money, i dont want to boast about that, on the contrary, i feel rather miserable about this secret desire, its like some drug addiction or a devilish temptation, and i cant resist... well, more exactly, i dont want to resist, in spite of the bad feeling, it gives me a great satisfaction

[IndiReloaded]

You don't have to explain to me. I'm just glad for both you & your daughter you have thought things through.

Oh, and being tied up isn't exactly hugely risque, lol. If that floats your boat, then go for it. Certainly don't feel miserable about your sexual explorations, esp if you are being careful about them.

Not too sure about the trophy BF, tho that's b/t you & him. I'd be careful it doesn't lead to resentment. Personally, I avoid business & pleasure. Think about having the property managed through a 3rd party where you aren't directly involved.