.. Help!

[baranogin]

This is not only my first post here, but my first post anywhere like this. I had no where else.. to really turn. And don't really know exactly all what to say..

I'm a 23 year old female and I practically have either no sex drive, or a low one. Really low. Talking about this, is rather embarrassing, but I want it fixed. I masturbate probably.. every six months at the earliest and a year at the most latest. The only medication I'm on is BC, and I had this problem before that. I don't orgasm during sex, and no guy has ever gotten me off.

Of course, I've always had bad experiences with sex, being pressured into it and other things. But, I hate being this way. It makes me feel inadequate, and when I tell someone, they get this look like.. it's all my fault and they leave. I get rejected a lot for it.

Please help!

[vashti]

I had a pretty low sex drive at your age, too. It's not uncommon, and birth control pills are very often a factor.

When you masturbate, are you able to reach orgasm?

[baranogin]

So I've read, but I didn't start BC until a year ago, and I had this problem before I even started them. Yeah, I can. Another thing is, I was a lot more misinformed two years ago than I am now, and I didn't even know I could orgasm until two years ago.

[vashti]

Your lack of drive is probably tied to your emotions, then, and lack of orgasm contributes to your lack of interest. This may remain a problem until you find a man who is patient and that you love and trust. There are a lot of mental issues tied to sex, and most women find trust to be a necessity if they want to enjoy sex and reach orgasm. Also, take heart: women's sex drive doesn't hit its peak until the mid-30s, when you will begin to feel like a teenage boy.

In the meantime, you might want to speak to a professional about your feelings of inadequacy. It doesn't sound like you've been partnering up with especially compassionate males.

[random1]

I had a pretty low sex drive at your age, too. It's not uncommon, and birth control pills are very often a factor.

Birth control pills can lower a person's sex drive?

[vashti]

Birth control pills can lower a person's sex drive?

Absolutely. Also, that effect can last up to a year after you quit taking them.

[Hellfire]

Your sex drive is massively linked to how you're feeling about yourself. How confident you are, how sexy you think you are, how comfortable you are with your partner (if you have one), how comfortable you are with your own body shape etc. If you feel sexy, chances are you'll want it more. Try buying some lingerie or a satin nighty, get a new hair cut or your nails done. Whatever it is that you need to do to look at yourself in the mirror and think....'Damn! I wanna smack that!'

Then there are plenty of other avenues if you find that's not getting you all the way there. Horny goat weed is available in the vitamins section of most supermarkets (in Australia anyway) as well as more sexy books, warming gels etc than any single person could use in a lifetime at sex shops. Some shops cater exclusively to women and you might find something there that helps get you in the right mood.

Having a negative past with sex (pressure etc) is probably the major obstacle that's barring you IMO. If you're not comfortable talking about those issues with someone, try to come up with another way of working through them...I know that sounds kinda obscure. Trying to get into sex when in the back of your mind it's associated with pain, regret and forcefullness will mean you wont want to do it at all. Who would?

[Hellfire]

Apparently I'm making up my own words......forcefullness?