what should i do?

[FrozenFire]

hi guys, this is my first time here so. a big hello to all of u out there (:

anyway, i have a problem with this girl i really like for 4 mths whom is in my class since the start of Pre U 1.

right from the start of this year, i already heard from her best fren she dint want to start a relationship becos of her 2 previous ex, which were pure assholes.

i told her my feelings 3 days ago. and she said she told me that she dint want to start a relationship and told me to stop waiting and wasting time for her. i asked her if i stood a chance, and she said that she didnt want to say no now, becos the ans may not be a no the nxt time round. although she dint say it loud, but i know she doesnt trust guys totally. she says she trust me with everything, but not jus with relationships, cos she does not want to get hurt anymore. she said that even if we're together, fights will occur and that will make the other party feel hurt.

there was this other guy who has been waiting for her 8 mths now and she said " look at him, hes been waiting for 8 mths and i haven accepted him."They are quite close, from what i see but she said she treats him as best buddies.

i tried to send her home and send her to school, but she kept insisting that i dun waste my time on her. when i text her, she would reply for 1 -2 times and said that shes busy and to talk later, but i know she isnt busy.

can she be convinced? shld i juz let go? or wait for her.
cos it really hurts me not to have a definite ans and ive been thinking of her every single min and it really hurts. its been making me moody, and lose my appetite.

she says its a crush on her. she tells me it would die off and i shld juz move on. she also said i chose the wrong girl to like.
i have no idea what to do now, can u please advice guys?
thanks

[DoesntMatter]

right from the start of this year, i already heard from her best fren she dint want to start a relationship becos of her 2 previous ex, which were pure assholes.

If you aren't an "asshole" you probably don't have much of a chance with her

[FrozenFire]

im not an asshole.
the previous 2 guys. 1 was 2 timed her. the other i dunno.

others says that my character was perfectly fine

[Hellfire]

I think that she definitely needs her space and some time to start feeling like she doesn't hate the male half of the human race again. Her prediction that you will lose interest is indicative of her mental state IMO. If the last guy she dated was two timing her she probably thinks that all guys will get bored of her and move on, so she's not willing to take any risks. It will take time for her to deal with those thoughts and emotions and unfortunately she probably doesn't know how long that's going to take.

I think the best thing that you can do is accept what she's said and take up her 'lose interest' challenge. If you're really serious about her, give her time and lots of it. Stay friends and continue developing a platonic relationship, so she continues to feel confident and comfortable with you. It is really important that you don't try to come onto her continually or she's going to start feeling pressured and annoyed that you can't respect what she's said. Eventually, she will come round (unless she decides to bat for the other side) and it's a matter of whether you're willing to hang around and wait until that happens, which may or may not pay off.

It can be annoying to not have a definite answer, but that's life. You can't ask her to tell you definitively what the future holds because she doesn't know. None of us do.

[FrozenFire]

ok. i get what u mean. what u said. really makes sense. i guess out of everyone u make the most sense. haha. thanks (:

[qwertaker]

Hm... I'd say try and be just friend with her. She might decide at some point that you are trustworthy and that she really likes you more than just as a friend. But that is going to take time. Stop pushing her for a relationship, it ISN'T gonna happen!!!
Just ask her whether you guys can be friends and that you understand her point and you're not gonna pursue her anymore, but whether you could hang out in the future just as buddies.
I think there's a chance here for you if you do it right!

[FrozenFire]

Hm... I'd say try and be just friend with her. She might decide at some point that you are trustworthy and that she really likes you more than just as a friend. But that is going to take time. Stop pushing her for a relationship, it ISN'T gonna happen!!!
Just ask her whether you guys can be friends and that you understand her point and you're not gonna pursue her anymore, but whether you could hang out in the future just as buddies.
I think there's a chance here for you if you do it right!

so i totally give up on her?
cut away all those chasing part even though i do not have long emo sessions with her?
but if i tell her to remain buddies, doesnt it mean that she will only treat me as a buddy and always a buddy

[FrozenFire]

ok. i get what u mean. what u said. really makes sense. i guess out of everyone u make the most sense. haha. thanks (:

im 17 btw haha