sometimes she thinks she has made a mistake..

[all alone]

So i have been good friends with a girl, going back to high school and am now almost 20, shes few months younger. Anyways, for the first 2 yrs i knew here we were friends but didn't talk a whole lot then our senior year we got to know each better. Next yr in pre-university, we were in same program so i really got a chance to know her better and found myself starting to have feelings. After a while i built up some courage and told her how i felt however she said she wasn't interested after thinking it over a couple days. Now at the time we had 4 mutual friends, 2 couples, who had just broken up and were on bad terms, which she latter admit to me kind of had a small impact on her decision, but not a major one. So after liking her an entire year and having some other discussions with her on the subject, with no progress, i got over her more or less at the start of this summer.

Almost dated another girl but didn't end up happening because she lived sort of far and then started seeing someone else, anyways it didn't phase me, i was just happy to be past everything and feeling happy.

So now this school year started, we are both at different universities but in walking distance of each other, I still hang out with her on a reg basis even outside of school hrs, were good friends like i said. Now within the last month or so i found myself thinking of her again... not like i am in head over heels like before, but nonetheless, more then the summer. I thought it was most likely just some lingering feelings for her.

So all is normal until i talk with one her best friends. Her friend, 'J', had not heard the full story from her, only basics. So i told J the entire thing and we discussed that and wtv else for a bit. Then out of no where shes asks "Can i be honest?.." and goes on to say "She told me that somestimes she thinks she made a mistake by not taking a chance on you".. so naturally at the time i got really pensive and didn't know what to make of it. It completely blind sided me. So i ask her when did she say this.. turns out to be about 2-3 weeks ago.. the same time frame in which i started thinking about her again.

So i think its kind of odd, but at the same time im not going to jump into anything about it, i mean who knows context of the convo etc. So i end up asking J again 2 days later if she was telling me the honest truth or just trying to give me an ego boost. This time she says again.. well i wasn't being 100% honest before. Apparently my friend told J multiple times within the last month she is not sure if she made a mistake, including as recently as last week when all 3 of us took the bus together, after i got off before them.

Ok so here is what i am looking for opinions on: coincidence or not that her saying this is the same time frame that i have started thinking about her again?..

[Cbrider]

Umm...so are you looking for some religious answer of whether fate is trying to bring you guys together or what? I am completely lost as to what exactly to say.

[The Godfather]

coincidence? Probably not. Basic human nature says that one of the most important factors on attraction to someone, is whether or not they are attracted to us. I love the science of the human brain and love. So fascinating...

Anyway, you are probably subconsciously sending signals to her, which is in turn making her question her feelings for her.

[all alone]

Umm...so are you looking for some religious answer of whether fate is trying to bring you guys together or what? I am completely lost as to what exactly to say.

well im not religious haha (ironic nice my dad has a phd in religious philosophy) but i am really not sure.. i guess why im posting here, see what springs up. I have heard some comments like that of Godfather above me here, but iunno i can rly over think stuff at times.

[TheGreek]

If you still have feelings for her, then go for it.

[all alone]

well what i am thinking at the moment which was suggested from a friend, that well if she has feelings for me she will come to me because of the previous experience. maybe she isnt totally ready yet and i dont want to rush her. If she wants it to happen, i figure she can approach me yourself very easily.

[TheGreek]

OK, but maybe she's embarrassed by not taking the chance before and will fell dumb now, after telling you no before. I'm not saying jump into it right away and start trying to make things happen too quickly. I'm just saying, don't be afraid to take a chance.

[Bambi_08]

You don't want to live with regret.....in ten years regardless of her answer the only thing you will regret is never finding out.

But don't come on strong. Play it casual. Drop hints here and there and see if she sends some back

[all alone]

OK, but maybe she's embarrassed by not taking the chance before and will fell dumb now, after telling you no before. I'm not saying jump into it right away and start trying to make things happen too quickly. I'm just saying, don't be afraid to take a chance.

yeah, i get what you mean, i have actually thought about that as well.. i think you got to the important part which is don't make anything happen too quickly.. i don't want to rush something if shes no willing/ready.

[TheGreek]

yeah, i get what you mean, i have actually thought about that as well.. i think you got to the important part which is don't make anything happen too quickly.. i don't want to rush something if shes no willing/ready.

Bingo. You have your answer.