Sister in Law

[Connor 45]

Hi all ok dont want to boar anybody but here goes ................

well im here and writing on this forum becasue like alot of people im am tottally confused ,unhappy and feel traped (ok maybe other people arnt maybe its just me ?) i am married with children and my wife has had a baby is January . But i can honestly say things aint good we have had sex maybe 6 times in the last two years and the last time was over a year ago i think i still love my wife! but we are going through a hard time ???? she is from another country in Europe and we have just moved there resently from Ireland ,where i am from !
in the past few (4)years i have felt due to the sometimes bad way she talks to me and the arguments we have that our marraige is in trouble . ? i find it hard to love her when she is nasty to me and allthough i have now started to say stuff back i rarely start a argument. In the past i allway was quiet and ignored her hot temper saying little but with our lives being more stressfull with the children and moving house and me still looking for work i dont take it anymore i fire back!!! She finds this hard ! and things sometimes get out of hand ! durring all through this time her sister,who ive have known since the day i meet my wife has allways been kind, and i think???? more loving to me, She allways backs me sometimes even against her sister and i have found myself drawn closer to her !
i have not done anything !!!!!!!! but to make it worse i get the gut feeling that she maybe ??? has or is feeling the same way and to complicate things even more she is married with children as well!!!! I have allway been very close but found in the last 2 years ourselfs getting even closer ,This was of her doing .....longer than usual looks ....the quick look ,,checking me out....legs touching under the table.. when looking at a book her fingers would accidentally touch mine , a coupel of times ! when in the swimming pool by ourselfs with with her kids and mine she would get close and touch against me? ..... it a gut feeeling thing ,but she seems fairly happy with her life so i dont want to srew thing up !!!! hey look i dont want to see things that aint there but is this just becasue im not happy with my marraige at the moment ? are these thing usual ? im just looking for a friendly chat ! if i have a gut feeling and the things i have mentioned about my sister in law what does this mean ?

cheers

[Connor 45]

i also realise that she is going through a hard time what with jsut having a baby ,,,,but this has been for quiet a while

[IndiReloaded]

Look, if you need to have a fling DON'T do it with your sister in law. That's just the ultimate in stupidity.

Focus on finding a job. Once you have one, you will be to busy for this kind of thing.

As for the sister being 'kinder' than your wife? She is flirting with her sister's husband. That is not kind. Opportunistic, perhaps, but not kind. Stop thinking with your dick.

[Connor 45]

hey i am not thinking with ,as put it my Dick ! #
thats my point here im i don't want to spoil anybody s life here !
i am just trying to get my head straight ! i have known her since meeting my wife and we have always been close ! i don't know if my sister in law is just being kind and a true friend or is she trying to give me a message that she really cares deeply and maybe that all along she has loved me? ....which when looking back might be the case???????? and i don't know that deep down i don't feel the same way ??? confused !!!!!!!! i mean my other sister in law does not in any way give me those vibes ! is this normal behaviour for a sister in law????????

[IndiReloaded]

I already said it wasn't normal.

But, let's say theoretically, even if she is just being friendly, YOU are thinking it might be more. Which means there's a problem.

or is she trying to give me a message that she really cares deeply and maybe that all along she has loved me?

Oh yes, you are just setting yourself up a lovely fantasy here, aren't you?

You are looking for a diversion from the problems with your wife in the WORSE possible way. Grow the **** up. Deal with the problems with your wife, or leave. Don't set yourself up for an affair, esp with a relative.

[vashti]

Assuming what you say is accurate, and not a figment of your imagination, your sister in law is a down and dirty skank. I don't know how anyone could ever justify doing that to her own sister. I imagine it's the same sort of woman who would do it to her own daughter.

I'd personally like to give you both a smack-down.

[Connor 45]

hey thanks for the slagging off its really helps .......as i said i havnt done anything and probably wont i just dont know how i stand anymore !?*

[lesa]

well im here and writing on this forum becasue like alot of people im am tottally confused ,unhappy and feel traped (ok maybe other people arnt maybe its just me ?) i am married with children and my wife has had a baby is January .

See that's what I am talking about. Men cannot handle their wives after child birth. .

My goodness, there are a lot of f****ed up married couples. I think I will pass on marriage. Sister-in-law...that's some major drama from people with crooked heads.

[Connor 45]

ok i thought the whole point here is to think out loud ! ?and to try and help not to slag people off

im just putting my point across which to some of you may be twisted etc i dont mean to offend anyone and im not on the forum as a wind up or to p**s people off ! as i said im mearly thinking whats in my head........ oh and by the way i have been there for my wife all the time giving support and love which i feel i dont get back ! .........I dont start arguments at all and i dont go out at all and rarely drink

i dont live on these forums which it appears some of you with over 1000 posts do????????

[Connor 45]

yeah cheers !

[lesa]

Hey I resent that! I don't live on these forums. I live in a laboratory...I mean a home and online lol...and how did I build up to over 1000 posts? Wow that was fast. Anyways, I don't know how I found this forum but I have learn so much and really appreciate the advice given and helping others as well. There is no telling what I would have done without my online buddies.

It sound like you also need the advice of these online buddies...no matter how cruel we may sound. I know it must be difficult to realize how horrific your situation sounds and online buddies are great to have because we won't BS like our offline buddies may. If I need a shoulder to cry on and BS support, I go to my offline buddies. When I need someone to bring back my common sense (or create new ones) I go to these online guys.

Another option is to just ignore us and continue to do what you always do so that you will get whatever it is you need...eventually anyways.

[Connor 45]

yeah but that does not mean you have to slag me off !
i want to try and fix the problem not make it worse but i have to be happy in myself other wise i am kidding myself into thinking every things ok ! which at the moment it ain't ! i want to try and make it better but i find it hard to love someone that is consistently using me as an emotional punch bag! and blaming me for everything even when its not my fault! ........

[lesa]

I noticed a pattern of relationship problems right after childbirth and it disturbs me. My apologies about my early post.

[Connor 45]

thank you!

as i said im trying !

i dont want to seem like the typical man bastard here who has no time for my poor wife after giving me a lovely baby .....and 2 other lovely children ............i am trying to love her but find it hard at the moment because she is so hot tempered and just gives me both barrels even when i haven't done anything
we have also moved away from my sister in law and live very far away so i dont see her hardly anymore !

But...............maybe its because im felling unloved that im feeling these thoughts and maybe my sister in law was just being friendly ,after all this might be normal behavior???????? maybe i saw something that wasn't there ?

[Indignant]

Oh yes, you are just setting yourself up a lovely fantasy here, aren't you?

You are looking for a diversion from the problems with your wife in the WORSE possible way. Grow the **** up. Deal with the problems with your wife, or leave. Don't set yourself up for an affair, esp with a relative.

Indi, Vashti and Lesa!!!!!

Attention please!!!!

When people come to this forum they are lost and looking for help, and guess what, you bash them instead!

Please be kind to the lost souls, I know for a fact that you can express yourself in a nicer, gentler and more civil way without hurting newbies!!!

Please!