Should I text/call him?

[Bambi_08]

We dated 7 months and have known each other year and half. He is my childhood best friends brother-in-law(Ken). I'm 24 he's 21. We broke up 3 months ago and I lost my best friend of 19 yrs.

Ken started an intense boot camp type training for his career and my best friend was talking about me behind my back with his other sister-in-law. I told him I couldn't take their childishness and that he needed to step up to the plate and tell them to leave me out of their gossip. I told him I needed two weeks to think about the situation we hung up and never talked again. Next thing I know his brother is at my door getting his stuff saying "accept the break up". I called him 3 times that night and no answer.

I texted Ken that weekend and asked him what was going on and never go any response. I finally called my 'best friend' and she said his sergant said he could'nt talk to me again till things blew over. She never gave me anymore information and let me go. I texted her a couple times but her husband said she couldn't talk to me. She dropped me like a fly. I believe a part of it has to do with the fact that I know their child is not his it is that of another mans, but I would never say anything.

I think apart of her wanted me out of the family because I knew that her child is not her husbands and she didn't want it ever to come up years down the road. I believe that even started her some what contempt for me and the relationship I had with her brother-in-law. Ken lives with them.

The last text I got from her was asking me if I knew that my ex-boyfriend (John) was in a shooting because of his profession. I never responded back because she dropped me flat and was not a friend when I needed answers to what happened to my relationship. We live in houses in the suburbs less than a minute away from eachother and I have seen her several times while driving. She pretends like she doesn't see me.

After 2 months I go with my exboyfriend (John)to a funeral of an important figure in his profession and I run into Ken and his friends from his training program. (John is abnormally good looking, model type.) Ken looks at me and John and looks devastated.

Ken's training program is 5 days a week 16 hrs a day with studies on the weekends. The program will be over in December.

I miss him horribly bad and think about him every day. I know he has so many new things going on and he still loves me. His family and career situations I know put him in a very weird spot BUT is that why I've never heard another thing from him? Why has he never even called, texted or emailed. He told me he wanted to start having children with me in December when we were dating. He even told me he wanted to be married to me.

I just recently applied to Pharmacy school and I will most likely get in and start fall 09. With out sounding like I think too high of myself, I am a good looking woman and can have my choice... so I know his attraction to me was not the issue. I am a Very humble, loving, caring person and this was recognized by all members in Ken's family. I believe my over achiever Mother Theresa mentality is what started Ken's sister-in-laws with their gossip.

I miss Ken soooo much and feel that he was/is the one for me. I will always look back at what could of been because besides this dropping me flat he is the prince every woman looks for. Did he drop me because his demanding training or his family?

Should I text him in January and say I still want to be friends and don't want things to be weird? Or has his ignoring me been my answer???? But he is going through a VERY demanding training now. Will I look like a psycho if I text or call him in January? I know his sister-in-laws will view me as being lame for doing that.....does that make him forget me since it is like a capulet/montegue fued?

Please help I need some outside opinion. My sister hates him for hurting me and dropping me that way he did but I truely think it's because his training and his sergant or was that an excuse???


LOST LOST LOST

[Zilla80]

I miss Ken soooo much and feel that he was/is the one for me. I will always look back at what could of been because besides this dropping me flat he is the prince every woman looks for. Did he drop me because his demanding training or his family?

We ALWAYS seem to feel the one who leaves us is the one for us. You know how many girls I have felt are "the one for me" who now I am SO thankful I avoided being locked down with?

I think if either one of those answers is true you are better off without him. If he TRULY loved you and TRULY was the one for you, he would not drop you NO MATTER WHAT... there is ALWAYS a way to work through things.

Do you want to be with someone who will break up with you because his sargeant says so?

Do you want to be with someone who will leave you because his family says so?

Even if he got back with you... you will always know in the back of your mind that he choose ______ over you. He was ok with losing you for _____ .

[Bambi_08]

Thank you so much. You have given me insight and a perspective that I have been searching for but could not find on my own. I am grateful for your help.....you truly have helped me come to terms with the situation!

Once again thank you