The Healing Process.

[bomaht]

this is in response to the Thread: 4 years and banging heads. in the love advice forum.

So, I decided I wanted to get the divorce. I packed up my stuff and moved out. Although I was upset the day I was moving out, it either 1) was bad enough that i'm not that upset now and won't get upset or 2) delayed reaction and it just hasn't hit me yet.

I have my nights when I am really upset, but I cope by just going to sleep. However, those don't seem to happen so much.

When does the healing process begin? When does it end? Does it not start for some people? I'm so confused I feel like I should be more upset than I am.

What is some advice on communicating with her? Should I not or just if she really really needs something?

How will I know when I am ready to move on? Sheesh I got so many questions.

[Mish]

I read the previous thread. Sounds like the relationship bogged down under the weight of mutual faults. Perhaps it's best to cut contact with her for awhile until you get over the relationship and until the papers are sorted.

In the future when you find some one new, I think my advice is to build a solid foundation before going into marriage. If something is not working don't be too fast to leave, but don't continue if it's too broken.

[bomaht]

It's been a while since I have posted and thought I would give an update for those of you who have read my posts.

My wife and I are still getting a divorce. The depression finally did hit me, but just not as bad as I thought it was going to. I'm still going through it, but I can't thank my friends and family enough.

It's hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel when you are so upset, but once you sleep a little and wake up refreshed you see it. Now I know I still have many hard times to go through, but I figured I would share my experience to anyone out there that was wondering or is having the same problems.
I can't give a lot of advice, but one piece of advice I will give and I know everyone will back me up 100% is that friends and family are extremely important when going through this. I know it was for me.

Ok, so down to what's going on.
We are still getting a divorce. I went on a date with a girl and she found out and blew up. She seems(i can't stress the "SEEMS" part enough) to have gotten over it for now. We still talk, but we've made boundaries we don't cross. I am not sure who told me to put up boundaries but it helps a lot. Oh, and just an FYI to anyone out there that thinks dating while still married(but split up) is a good idea; it's not unless you know for sure you don't want to be back with your significant other. Once you've crossed that river, there is no coming back. Even if you do cross back over it's never going to be the same.

Well I have been getting into writing poems again, and I think I will start posting some on here for everyone to read.
At this moment I am pretty happy, but I am sure I will be back in this forum in no time talking about myself again.

"You had my heart, at least for the most part." - Avenged Sevenfold