Trapped in a relationship

[vashti]

You must have a thrilling life to even be here on a friday night instead of out with friends or with your significant other or spending time with your kids if you have any.And if you dont have any of those things,you dont have room to talk so shut the f up captain obvious

I actually have ALL those things, and it's Ms. Captain Obvious to you, buddy.

[profchaos71]

how do you know i cant find someone my own age? I can and i have 99.9% of my life. This girl isnt naive if you have read everything on here you should have figured that out.She sought me out for sex.I did not pursue her.Are you suggesting that a 19 year old woman that can join the military and vote and has raised her pre-teen sisters while her own mother was in iraq isnt capable of deciding who she wants to have sex with,or even better shouldnt be allowed to have sex.I did not seek this girl out for a relationship and i was honest upfront with her about not wanting that and she also stated that she did not want a relationship as well.Granted i should have avoided the whole thing but she is not the naive innocent girl the two of you want to think she is.I am more than capable of finding women my own age and all of this still doesnt change the fact that you didnt offer anything insightful or helpful.I actually didnt ask for your or anyone else's advice anyhow you jerk-off.She asked for advice,i just added some info because she had me read this stuff and she wasnt telling the whole story so i clarified some things.None of which changes the fact that you actually are on the computer interjecting your useless criticism on a friday night because obviously you cant find a woman of any age to spend time with your antagonistic pathetic self.Dont care what you say after this so dont bother trying to type up a witty retort.The decision has been made no thanks to your awesome words of wisdom.The rest of my life will be dedicated to my daughter as it should be and you can go on spending your time flogging yourself to gay porn and judging the actions of others since it's such an easy thing to do when none of us know exactly what mistakes you have made in your life that you might find embarrassing.

[profchaos71]

I wasnt really directing most of this at you vashti,although it is an advice column and nobody asked for your opinion on who is at fault.There is plenty of blame to go around and plenty of it is mine.The question she asked was stay together or live apart not how do i get away from the bad old guy that tricked me into having sex and knocked me up.You did have some helpful and useful things to add and i thank you for that.Even if i dont fully agree with you!!

[1averagejoe]

This girl isnt naive if you have read everything on here you should have figured that out.She sought me out for sex.I did not pursue her.

I think you should read this:
[url]http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/[/url]

Hmm...she thought she couldn't get pregnant based on a guess she made. Then she was sleeping with someone twice her age. You know I think you're right, she wasn't naive.

Jeez I feel so terrible I think I'm going to head out to those gay rallies protesting the ban on gay marriage and flog a couple guys next friday, haha.

I think this guy is giving DM a run for his money, I think he just might be more insulting. But with less math, haha.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Profchaos, the only asshole I see in here is you. You are how old and your best come back is gay porn? I absolutely hate when people come on here acting like a jackass and expect people to respect them. It is bad enough your old ass is dealing with such a young girl. Yea I said it, so what? Stating the facts here buddy. So cut the attitude cuz I know there are people here with a worse attitude, including myself. You're trying to be an online bad ass, but sadly it's not working for you, so find a new hobby.

You said you had already gotten your answer, so I guess "stating the obvious" is a waste of time. All I can say is take care of your daughter and try to be the best father you can be, with or without this girl. And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.....POR FAVOR!!!!.....lose the stink ass attitude, cuz no one is going to want to help you if you have to resort to calling them an asshole and telling them their opinion doesnt matter cuz its not what you want to hear.

[divinechaos]

Well then I see there was some drama on here over the night...oh the insanity...

I guess I should say that it was me who asked for help and I appreciate all the helpful advice given..

But to clear a few things up...it really was me who pursued him... I made the first move and said the classic line "I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to" But I guess it is all irrelevant....

I also have to say in his defense the only reason there is such a gap in our age is because it's hard to find someone with herpes thats around my age, and the pickings are pretty slim on the sites for around his age. We only got together because its safer(at least in some ways lol) to have sex with each other then off spreading it around to others.

I appreciate the fact that you guys take the time to sit at home on a Friday night and write witty retorts......If you have no lives...its okay with me... I just sat on the couch with a drink and a good book all night, While he played with the baby all night. So I won't judge you for that.

But anyways....I'm done with this thread and I appreciate all the advice.. I didn't think it would get this much attention.

So thanks

[vashti]

Just so you know, 75% of the adult population has one form of herpes or another. It is certainly far from rare. Don't let THAT be the reason you settle for inappropriate men, chaos.

[lesa]

Everyone be the better person and stop it! You know what I mean.

The advice on keeping the child away from dates is good. Also stay civil to each other. You can't go back and change the age and circumstance so just learn from the past, stay civil in the present, and plan for the future. Also if you don't want pregnancy, always take precautions...even when the other person said they are infertile.

If you would like to continue with going over possible solutions for the future of the child, I would like for this topic to continue. Children and dating is a sensitive topic. I know that it is difficult but try to avoid being defensive. I am sure you two have already gone over what was said anyways.

[lesa]

Just so you know, 75% of the adult population has one form of herpes or another. It is certainly far from rare. Don't let THAT be the reason you settle for inappropriate men, chaos.

I don't think he was an inappropriate man. In fact he sounds better than most 19 year old men that are in a situation like this one. They know the mistakes they made. It was obvious a casual relationship that had gone careless. We can't go back in time....they can only learn from it--don't allow sex to make you careless anymore.

[1averagejoe]

Just so you know, 75% of the adult population has one form of herpes or another. It is certainly far from rare. Don't let THAT be the reason you settle for inappropriate men, chaos.

But what you're missing is that there are two types of herpes viruses. Type 1 normally infects the mouth region. Type 2 normally the groin.

The majority of those numbers are for Type 1. Like you said close to 70% of Americans have shown symptoms or have been exposed to Type 1. Aka...a cold sore. Something like kissing a family member, sharing a drink or food, or touching something that another person that had it touched. Herpes is a very contagious virus and a large majority of people don't even show signs but can pass it on.

Type 2 on the other hand isn't as easily caught because it can almost only be passed on through sexual contact, but yes, there is still quite a bit of people with it.

[vashti]

Actually, type 1 and type 2 can affect either the mouth or the genitals. I think it is 25% that have the genital type, but it may (easily) manifest itself orally, depending on sexual and kissing habits. It doesn't matter anyway, because both types havethe same result.

[1averagejoe]

Actually, type 1 and type 2 can affect either the mouth or the genitals. I think it is 25% that have the genital type, but it may (easily) manifest itself orally, depending on sexual and kissing habits. It doesn't matter anyway, because both types havethe same result.

Type 1 normally infects the mouth region. Type 2 normally the groin.

Key word "Normally"

Type 2 is more prone to moving it's way up orally than Type 1 does going downward.

[lesa]

The issue is that when it is below the belt (especially), there has to be a period of no sexual contact in that area so that the person without it doesn't get the condition. It will interfere with the spontaneity and that is not cool for many people. If you both have it then you don't have to be so concern about that.

I would be pissed off to the highest level of pisstivity if someone thought it would be all right to not tell me they have herpes because most of the population has it or assume it should be no big deal for me without talking first. I completely understand the use of dating sites for people with common issues of all types.

[lesa]

If I recall correctly and don't quote me is that type 1 can be anywhere, but most people are exposed to upper body aka lips but if you do oral sex then it can be in the genital area as well. Type 2 prefers the genital area and there may be only 1 outbreak if it is in the mouth area. It doesn't want to compete with type 1 if it is ready there. It needs to be tested for which type it is because you can't tell much by visual inspection. There are several types of herpes and most people probably have been exposed to at least 1 type. There is no such thing as oral, genital, or whatever herpes although outbreaks frequency may be different because of location.

[vashti]

The issue is that when it is below the belt (especially), there has to be a period of no sexual contact in that area so that the person without it doesn't get the condition. It will interfere with the spontaneity and that is not cool for many people. If you both have it then you don't have to be so concern about that.

I would be pissed off to the highest level of pisstivity if someone thought it would be all right to not tell me they have herpes because most of the population has it or assume it should be no big deal for me without talking first. I completely understand the use of dating sites for people with common issues of all types.

Perhaps you missed the point? No one is advocating that she shouldn't tell potential partners her status, but rather she shouldn't feel desperate about finding partners. Herpes is not uncommon.