The difference between "fun" me, and "aggressive" me.

[Junket]

Is startling.

And I can feel myself transition into it when I feel like I'm facing intense competition.

We discussed it before, because sometimes when we'd wrestle, which usually starts out as tickling, soon turns into grappling and pinning.

She's only about an inch or two taller than me, and I know she weighs more, so she's no easy pin.

But when I start to struggle, I can feel something switch, I breathe a little faster, I squeeze a little harder, the smile fades and I get serious.

Like I said, we discussed it before, and decided we shouldn't get that physical anymore. But one thing led to another and we were grappling (fully clothed) on the bed. It gets pretty physical on the end of both parties. Thing is, it always ends with me walking away hyped up and frustrated. The frustration because I'm directing incredibly focused aggression towards my girlfriend. It's not even fun at that point, I just get into this "I will not lose", mode. Ironic because so far it's always ended with me pinning her and her finally saying, "I give up".

Now, I definitely wouldn't go as far to say that this is some kind of unresolved "issue" in our relationship. It's nothing to brood over, it's just...I just feel unsettled about it, like my only way thus far to keep it from becoming a problem is prevention, not letting things get too out of hand, since really, "healthy" wrestling isn't exactly a fundamental aspect of a good relationship.

I thought about taking some kind of martial arts, or wrestling, something that entails physical competition, but I believe that will only make me more aggressive. I don't get like this playing Ultimate frisbee, I'm not overly aggressive or anything. I dunno. Not really looking for advice, but anybody else feel me on this?

[Gribble]

See, I like to wrestle. But there's never any challenge. If I want to I can dominate her. And if I let her pin me down and she cracks one too many jokes I make that clearly evident. But it's always fun.

It sounds like you need to give up that game. It would frustrate the hell out of me to be physically bested by a female. Why don't you try working out a little? I know some smaller framed guys who are powerhouses for their sizes.

[DoesntMatter]

I've always wished to wrestle females. In the nude too

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

My friend and I always fight, like punching and stuff. Sometimes it ends in bruises and scratches but its all good. Sometimes I get the same feeling like I cant lose so I resort to pulling his hair and slapping him in the face (LOL) and getting filled with anger the more I continue. It's all fun and games though...just in a rough way. Butyea when it gets to that I just end it and go wash my face or something. Lol...when I re-read my post I sound so insane.

[doppelgaenger]

Let her win, man.

I know it's hard. Force yourself to be the fun Choi and if she does beat you, reward her with a kiss. That's the only way you're going to get over aggressive feelings. Don't worry, you can always say "Oh yeah, well I let ya win" and wink at her.

[Junket]

Sorry.

An important factor in this, is that either someone is pinned, or someone is tickled to the point they pee their pants.

Thing is, we grapple to the point that nobody can tickled each other, a stale mate almost.

Grib: She definitely has weight on me. I can arm wrestle her and it's not even close to fair. But she comes from a naturally largely built family. Her dad is like a giant, his hands could crush my head even in his old age, I'm sure.

Me? I got a small frame. My dad is chinese, my mother white, neither tall, neither anything special. So I'm not really fast, or really strong. Both of which I'd have to work at constantly if I wanted to be so. Ugh. Anyway, I'm goin' to bed, we just got back from a Dropkick Murphy concert.

[doppelgaenger]

I can't wait to wrestle and tickle my girlfriend

[IndiReloaded]

I thought about taking some kind of martial arts, or wrestling, something that entails physical competition, but I believe that will only make me more aggressive. I don't get like this playing Ultimate frisbee, I'm not overly aggressive or anything. I dunno. Not really looking for advice, but anybody else feel me on this?

I have the same problem with my husband re: martial arts. Except I'm the one with more training. He won't stop until he 'wins' so we don't grapple anymore. I got tired of getting my joints wrenched in the locks.

If you like the grappling, I would try judo. Or, if you like to grapple AND want something to help you control aggression, you can try aikido. But I would recommend a 'harder' style like Yoshinkan. Some of the other aikido styles can be pretty wimpy.

[Lipp]

Mind you, judo has more of a weight factor, which is why competitions are split between similar-weighted opponents.

Thing about aikido would be to be careful with its emphasis on small joint locks, unlike arm and leg pins it's faster and easier to snap or twitch a wrist (which is why you won't ever see it in for example UFC fights, it's not allowed.), and more difficult to heal.

But for aggression control rather than techniques, yeah, both probably work.

[boobaa]

Sounds like you need a good fight! Go to a bar and have a blast. Heck, we have fight club with my friends, a good punch in the face will make all the problems go away...

[doppelgaenger]

Setting emotions free helps nothing. Self-discipline is the only way to master oneself.

[Gribble]

So you should lock all of your emotions up and let them eat away at your insides?

[doppelgaenger]

Nah, you should handle them more appropriately so they don't eat away everything else.

[Zilla80]

Setting emotions free helps nothing. Self-discipline is the only way to master oneself.

Ok zen-master

[misombra]

i think it would be a good idea to get into a martial art. anything where you're not wrestling with your girlfriend*.

your girlfriend* is submitting you like a dog.