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Thread: Long Relationship Issues

  1. #1
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    Long Relationship -> Lost Spark and Interested In Others

    So I'm 21 and I am in a 5 year plus relationhsip. So we have a great bond and I feel really close to her. This aside, a lot of those early relationship feelings are gone. Going out with her if fun, but just not really exciting. Sex life has died down. I always see her and it no longer feels special to be around her. It's like we are best friends before bf and gf.

    Now I have these feelings like I would love to hang out with other girls on campus. I don't even mean because I want to have sex... it's like I want to go out for dinner with them or take them to a dance.

    I don't do these things because I feel that it's off limits but idk what to do with my feelings.

    What do I do if we can't regain our spark... is it worth breaking up because you are best friends?
    Last edited by SecretAvi; 15-11-08 at 09:20 AM.

  2. #2
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    Why don't you try taking out your girlfriend dancing?

    Grab some new clothes or something, dinner reservations?

    Do you hang out with your own friends?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frasbee View Post
    Why don't you try taking out your girlfriend dancing?

    Grab some new clothes or something, dinner reservations?

    Do you hang out with your own friends?
    The dancing situation seems to be a strange topic for us. I guess I said it because I take dance lessons and she doesn't (on the basis that the class has us rotate partners and she doesn't want to dance with others).

    Aside from that, as college students, we are both pretty poor so while we could go out to eat once and awhile... places that require reservations are prolly out of our price range. She essentially lives with my in my dorm room so except for when I'm at class or she's at work, we are spending time together in this 10 by 10 square. If we are hanging out with our friends, it’s almost always as a couple.

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    Dear god, put some space between you two, that's a recipe for disaster. Nobody loves each other enough to want to be around them all the time for that long.

    Nobody.

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    I've hinted at her going home once and awhile but she's pretty obstinant. She'll say that my dorm is much closer to her work than her home and that she likes to be with me on the weekends because that the only time we have to 'really' hang out. If we are currently spending 7 days a week with each other, what would you say the minimum time away I suggest for me to keep sanity/relationship?

    Yeah, I'm a bit of a push over and I know that's pretty bad.
    Last edited by SecretAvi; 16-11-08 at 12:22 AM.

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    You need to confront this sooner than later, otherwise (if you haven't already), you'll begin to resent her.

    Why don't you try taking a weekend or something away?

    If you want to bring it up to her, just make it clear it's not that you don't like/love her anymore, but you just need your space.

    Me and my girlfriend both need our space. Otherwise, she gets somber, and I get grumpy and nobody is happy. It's good to hang out with your own friends every now and then.

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