My girlfriend has social anxiety and I might dump her because of it..

[Lifeisquick]

Didn't he say she's on zoloft for it? They don't give you zoloft for shyness, I don't think.

social anxiety disorder (SAD) is very real and yes, serotonine reuptake inhibitors (SSRI's) are used on it. A reuptake inhibitor is something that blocks vesicles from removing a neuro-transmitter molecule that is bound to receptors that initiate the release of happy chemicals. So you are physiologically forced to feel happy.


I hate the fact that they give her zoloft for this, since it's not treating the cause of the problem at all, and SSRI's are so general. They are giving her the exact same treatment as if she was just another depressed person. I haven't taken any pharmacology classes yet but I would think this could build tolerance.

[vashti]

social anxiety disorder (SAD) is very real and yes, serotonine reuptake inhibitors (SSRI's) are used on it. A reuptake inhibitor is something that blocks vesicles from removing a neuro-transmitter molecule that is bound to receptors that initiate the release of happy chemicals. So you are physiologically forced to feel happy.

I hate the fact that they give her zoloft for this, since it's not treating the cause of the problem at all, and SSRI's are so general. They are giving her the exact same treatment as if she was just another depressed person. I haven't taken any pharmacology classes yet but I would think this could build tolerance.

You will learn in pharmacology that science generally believes that a chemical imbalance plays a role in mood disorders. If one believes that chemical imbalances play a role in mood disorders, it seems wrong to withhold the medication.

Also, SSRIs are not linked to tolerance.

[Only-virgins]

She is smart and Intelligent but he will dump her because she is shy. What a ****ing dumbass.

[vashti]

There's a big difference between being "shy" and having a social anxiety disorder. I don't know how severe her condition is, but when I was working in the psych ward, the couple of patients I saw in there with social phobias were like shy people x 1000, with panic attacks and hiding to avoid people. It isn't normal.

Of course, I don't know how bad off *she* is, but once they start having panic attacks, it's harder because their problems are compounded.

[lesa]

She has major social phobia and the drug is to get her to relax somewhat...which probably isn't the best drug for her.

It's not too far off from anyone with extreme shyness. In fact extreme shyness IS a social phobia.

When someone say they are shy, it is probably not to that extreme but they are very similar--they worry about being judged in social activity. They have an extreme fear when they should not.

Remember in science we can make any condition and term seem big and scary. Plus we got to get insurance, etc to take things seriously.

[doppelgaenger]

Does anyone else think this 'social anxiety disorder' is a real load? I mean, just even because the acronym spells out 'sad'? I think it's just some piece-o-shit psychology jargon. Nobody wants to be humiliated or embarrassed. I think it's more of a social instinct for people to carefully choose the things they say (out of fear). A lot of people are very cautious about what they say, there is nothing wrong with that, and it's not a ****ing disorder. The people who fear it the most are the people who avoid anything social altogether. Hence, your girlfriend. All she needs to do is just accustom herself to talking to people. No medicine is going to do that for her. If you want to be a dickwad and dump her for such a minuscule reason, go right ahead.

[lesa]

Yep, she needs to be locked in a building of 100 strangers for 6 months. She will improve better then. The medication is a waste. She might as well get drunk. ..but the medication pays my bills hehe, so we won't tell.

[vashti]

Does anyone else think this 'social anxiety disorder' is a real load?

Maybe. It depends on the degree of the symptoms. Is a person a problem drinker if they drink 2 beers every night? Maybe not, but what if they were willing to kill someone for those 2 beers?

Anyway, I agree with lesa (to some extent) about the usefulness of SSRIs... I believe there is some question about whether they are effective due to the placebo effect. I guess it doesn't matter if it's working, though.

[lesa]

There's a big difference between being "shy" and having a social anxiety disorder. I don't know how severe her condition is, but when I was working in the psych ward, the couple of patients I saw in there with social phobias were like shy people x 1000, with panic attacks and hiding to avoid people. It isn't normal.

Of course, I don't know how bad off *she* is, but once they start having panic attacks, it's harder because their problems are compounded.

The people in the psych have MORE problems than just a social phobia. And they certainly would not be able to hold a job, or go to school and complete a degree without major accommodation. My bf works with people with psych disorders and other issues. Those people are f***ed up beyond repair.

[tooxshort]

I think the difference is that when you're simply shy, you just become a wallflower and stay quiet...like you're more embarrassed about what you'll do.

But with anxiety, you're flipping out in your own mind, physically nervous, and could possibly go into a crazy panic attack in front of people.

I don't think it's necessary to just dump her and waste 1.5 years. I think after that long, you should be willing to stick by her because these types of problems are very distressing.

[doppelgaenger]

I agree. And do you think breaking up with her is going to make her situation any better? She would probably be even less social then.

Don't be so selfish!

[lesa]

Very shy people are flipping out in their mind if they are forced to do something they do not. Most will avoid getting in that situation and will try to stay calm in front of anyone when they are in that situation because they do not want to be judged. But if all goes badly then anxiety can build up and then BP goes up, nervousness, etc. If it's very noticeable to others and interfering with living then they give a diagnosis of SAD. I know so many people prescribed beta blockers and other drugs when they have to present a speech for work or school...but I digress...

I don't think he has to stay with her because he was with her for 1.5 years. She is not suicidal. She is just extremely shy. She'll probably improve if he dumps her. Sadly, I think so. She has to get out her rut before it gets worse. She has to be forced to social events no matter how painful. It needs to be done sooner than later.

[tooxshort]

I've always thought that sad people wanted to make relationships, but were simply to scared to? Yet, they're comfortable being somewhere, just not comfortable releasing their thoughts.

I could be wrong, but that's my understanding of it. But I guess everything is all connected in some way.

I'm not sure being dumped will be a way of forcing her into more social events unless she has the will to. I would assume that she'd become even more closed having her relationship crumble.

[lesa]

I've always thought that sad people wanted to make relationships, but were simply to scared to? Yet, they're comfortable being somewhere, just not comfortable releasing their thoughts.

In many cases I think so, too. They will go to the social event but are not comfortable socializing there. It's like they want to watch but not participate. That's the mildly shy person probably.

[Mish]

Meh, everyone comes with problems. You'll dump her just to find someone else who's perfect except for lots of other problems. That train is never late.

Well, if you really wanted to help her you could by researching how to help with social anxiety problems. I bet it's psychological. Part of the fun of living is solving challenges and this certainly looks like one. Challenging sure, but solvable with the right amount of therapy / self help, I think as well. You say that underneath there lies a very attractive and sweet person, wouldn't it be wonderful to have that person after this issue is somewhat resolved?

But sure, I understand some things are deal breakers and there are plenty of people to choose from. Just bear in mind, there'll be something else imperfect about your other choices and you will most likely have to deal with it.